Anxiety and Overthinking Everything
Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.
Ways Anxiety Causes Overthinking
An effect of any type of anxiety is overthinking everything. There are common themes to the way anxiety causes overthinking. Perhaps this generic list will remind you of specific racing thoughts you experience and help you realize that you're not alone in overthinking everything because of anxiety.
- Obsessing over what we should say/should have said/did say/didn't say (common in social anxiety)
- Worrying incessantly about who we are and how we are measuring up to the world (common in social and performance anxiety)
- Creating fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go wrong for ourselves, loved ones, and the world (common in generalized anxiety disorder)
- Wild, imagined results of our own wild, imagined faults and incompetencies (all anxiety disorders)
- Fear of having a panic attack in public and possibly thinking that you can't leave home because of it (panic disorder with or without agoraphobia)
- Worrying about a multitude of obsessive thoughts, sometimes scary ones and thinking about them constantly (obsessive-compulsive disorder)
- Thinking -- overthinking -- a tumbling chain of worries, vague thoughts, and specific thoughts (all anxiety disorders)
Result of Anxiety and Overthinking
With anxiety, not only are these thoughts (and more) running through our brains, but they are always running through our brains, non-stop, endlessly. Like a gerbil hooked up to an endless drip of an energy drink, they run and run and wheel around in one place, going absolutely nowhere. Day and night, the wheel squeaks.
Anxiety and overthinking everything makes us both tired and wired. One result of the thinking too much that comes with anxiety is that we are often left feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Having these same anxious messages run through our head everywhere we go takes its toll.
Further, another dangerous result of anxiety and overthinking everything is that we start to believe what we think. After all, if we think it, it's real, and if we think it constantly, it's very real. Right? No. This is a trick anxiety plays. Anxiety causes overthinking, but with anxiety, these thoughts aren't always trustworthy.
You have the power and the ability to interfere in anxiety's overthinking everything. It's a process that involves many steps, but a step you can take right now to slow down that gerbil is to have something with you or around you to divert your attention. Rather than arguing with your thoughts or obsessing over them, gently shift your attention onto something else, something neutral. By thinking about something insignificant, you weaken anxiety's ability to cause you to overthink everything.
I explain this further in the below video. I invite you to tune in.
NCC, T. (2015, December 31). Anxiety and Overthinking Everything, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 17 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/12/anxiety-and-over-thinking-everything
Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
You are not alone. Being in a relationship with someone struggling with mental health challenges can be very difficult. It's because you care that it is so difficult and leads to that lost and hopeless feeling. There needs to be more resources available for people in your situation. One resources is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - NAMI.org. If there's one in your community, they might have information and resources for you. Also, there is a book called Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda that you might find helpful. It is broader than overthinking, but because overthinking is part of anxiety you might find it useful.
Perhaps other readers will chime in and share their experiences!
Everything you describe is a legitimate part of anxiety. I'm glad you found something that might help. Keep doing what you're doing -- seeking information about anxiety and trying things you find useful. Anxiety can sometimes make us feel helpless, but that's one of anxiety's tricks. You can overcome anxiety.
I'm so happy that you'd like to give this a try. I know you'll have good news to report, and I'm looking forward to reading about it! Be patient with yourself, as our thoughts can take root deeply. It's possible to stop overthinking. If I can do it, anyone can. :)
Depression and anxiety can be stubborn. Medication takes time to work, and often it falls short by itself. Do you have access to mental health professionals? If not in person, you might consider looking for online therapy services. A professional can help you deal with fear, anxiety, depression, and overthinking. Something you can start on right away is taking time every day to take several slow, deep breaths. This actually creates positive changes in the brain. While doing this, you can visualize something that makes you calm and happy. You can also practice mindfulness. When you find yourself overthinking, use all of your senses to pay attention to the present moment. What is really happening around you? What good is within you and around you, etc. Doing these things can start to provide immediate relief in moments while you work with someone to create more strategies.
That is a lot to deal with, and it would increase anyone's anxiety (and probably create new anxiety if none existed). I think that perhaps without realizing it you might have hit on a starting point. You referred to wanting a break. That is completely normal and okay and doesn't make you a bad mother. We all need breaks. They're a vital part of our wellbeing, including anxiety management. You might try working even short breaks (5 minutes) throughout the day. Go to a place where you are alone and have some quiet. I don't know if you've heard of the humorist and life columnist Erma Bombeck. She used to say that she'd hide on the floor of the backseat of her car just to have a break from her kids, who she loved dearly. Try taking several small breaks each day and breath deeply, read a few pages of a book, breathe in scented oils, or anything healthy that you find pleasurable and relaxing. This won't solve all of your struggles in an instant, but it's a good start to taking control of your world. Also, visiting in person with a therapist can be incredibly helpful in sorting things out and making plans. By working at this in pieces, maybe starting with breaks, you can overcome it.
You're not alone. Anxiety and depression commonly occur together. This link will take you to a couple of articles that discuss dealing with depression and anxiety: https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/anxiety-and-depression/anxiety-and-depression-articles/
A pharmacist or medical doctor should have great information about the correlation between anxiety and birth control. I've seen mixed reports on how much hormonal birth control causes/contributes to anxiety. It does seem that there is a relationship, which makes sense given the fact that hormones in birth control seem to affect neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. You're wise in listening to your body and mind. Everyone is unique and has different responses to birth control and other medications. And speaking of medication, anxiety medication can be helpful for some but it's not for everyone. It is definitely possible to reduce and manage anxiety without it.
I think many, many people will relate to your comment -- myself included! It is absolutely a thinking pattern, and awareness of it is the first step in breaking away from it. Once you're aware (which you seem to be), you can start to intentionally turn your thoughts to positive, realistic things. It's a process -- and one that works! Thank you for your comment.
Anxiety and overthinking, creating worse-case scenarios, etc. is definitely stressful. Sometimes it can be a helpful start to remind yourself (every time!) that just because anxiety puts a thought in your head doesn't mean it's accurate. Turn your attention to the evidence on the outside. It's a process, but it's a do-able process!
Looking at it in a more positive and realistic light does help. If he's over the previous issue, as he says, then all is well. If he still has a problem, only time will tell. The worst that can happen is he moves on. Although painful, all the worry in the world won't change the outcome.
Thank you for your comment. I agree with you that switching off overthinking is difficult to do. Imagining the worst situations in one area tends to transfer to other areas, too. It truly doesn't have to be this way forever. Thankfully!
I'm really glad that this was helpful. Sometimes sorting out and giving words to what we're experiencing is incredibly helpful. I think journaling is a great way to untangle things so they can be dealt with. Other readers will likely appreciate reading what works for someone else. Thank you for commenting and sharing!
I am asking because I suffered health anxiety for many years but have had it under control for the most part for the last 5 or 6 years but now since I found this lump it's back.
The mind can do all sorts of things! Including being obnoxious. The very short and oversimplified answer is yes, the mind can imagine symptoms that feel very real. I've read that medical students commonly feel the symptoms of diseases they're studying. That said, symptoms can be caused by an underlying condition. Consulting with your doctor and the general surgeon is wise. That way, they can take care of a problem that is really there, or they can rule out problems and reassure you that nothing is wrong. Because you successfully reduced health anxiety once, the chances are very high that you will do it again once you take care of this matter. And it's very natural to worry about symptoms. That is the mind at work in a positive way, prompting you to take action. Which you're doing! then you'll be informed and know what to do next. I hope everything turns out well and that you get a good report.
Health anxiety (any anxiety for that matter) is definitely hard, and the problem becomes worse when others don't understand. Many times, people aren't trying to be insensitive. It's just that unless you've fully experienced it, all of the thoughts and emotions and the way anxiety affects your actions, it's difficult to grasp. Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. It will help others know they aren't alone and even help people communicate with others. It's fantastic that you have taken charge and discovered ways to get past this horrible health anxiety. Even when anxiety has been calm for a while, triggers can make it flare up again. Don't beat yourself up for this. Just remind yourself what it is and return to the skills that helped you overcome it before. Keep doing what works!
This is rk.I realized myself suffering from anxiety and overthinking .let me tell what's always going on my mind.2years ago I crushed on one girl.but after that I slowly came to know that girl committed. I disappointed more on that because still I didn't proposed. My mind often that thing very too much.days after my mind accepted that's not only girl in universe. But still thinking ,thinking ,thinking. Actually if somebody take about that girl my emotional very very worse.Iam thinking myself as hero on same story.same while that's happen different my own story on everyday.iam thinking like she come one day and.she thinking about me that things are I can't avoid even if I very busy.iam taking drugs for depression also.pls give some advice to idiot thought.
First and very important: you don't have an "idiot thought." Our thoughts are what they are. When they're so bothersome, of course we want to do something about them, but that doesn't mean that you or your thoughts are idiots! Sometimes we get stuck in events and thoughts, and that can cause things like anxiety and depression. Have you ever heard of an approach to therapy called acceptance and commitment therapy? The focus is on accepting things that can't be changed and taking action to move forward toward the life you want. It's very helpful for many people in many situations, and it sounds like your situation could be a good fit for ACT. You can read about it on your own just by Googling it, and there are also therapists who practice ACT. It might be something to consider learning about to see if you think it's a good fit for you.
It's good that you have seen a doctor to make sure that you are physically healthy. There are other people you can see now for help, such as a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. A mental health specialist can evaluate you, knows the right questions to ask, and can work with you to overcome what is bothering you. This could be phobia-based, or it could be something different. You might want to look up body dysmorphic disorder to see if anything fits with your experiences. I encourage you to seek help, as you don't have to live with these feelings forever.
The things you describe can definitely be symptoms of anxiety and depression -- including changes in behavior. With new symptoms like this, it's often wise to consult a doctor, as these symptoms can be part of other things, too. A doctor can help treat anxiety or refer you to someone that is a good fit. Something important to realize: there isn't a "problem" with who you are. You are experiencing something that is causing problems for you, but you yourself aren't a problem.
I tend to overthink and always think people are talking about me
for example i can be standing somewhere some school kids can be in a group near me this happens with some people ive had trouble with before
and anything i kind of hear them say , if they laugh and if they look at me i kind of think that they are talking about me
ive been wrong before
but im wondering if its because ive had trouble with some people before and thats why i tend to believe they are always talking about me when they are around me
Anxiety can come from many different sources. A very legitimate cause of anxiety is past experiences. Prior negative experiences with people can cause you to lose trust in what people are up to now. Many things can help with this. Working with a therapist can be great because he/she can help you figure out if your thoughts are accurate (as in based on real events and actions of others), and they can help you overcome anxiety about what others are saying/doing. There are good self-help books, too. For this type of anxiety, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are particularly useful. It's definitely possible to overcome this anxiety!
Yes i am seeing a counsellor
I think my Anxiety comes from past experiences , i tend to overhear some peoples conversation or see the way some people look at me when they are near me and just automatically think that they are talking about me but there is always the case of maybe they actually weren't talking about me and I've just created a problem that wasn't there
Thankyou So Much
I'm sorry that you have been going through this. I'm sure it is very hard to stay confident, and no, you aren't stupid for any of this. It sounds like you were stuck in a very toxic friendship and others jumped on board with the name calling, etc. I have something for you to think about. People act this way because of their own insecurities and problems. (And let's face it, there are people who are just jerks, and they're that way to everyone -- but it feels like you're the only one they treat horribly). I say this confidently because I've been in high schools as a teacher and counselor and as a human I've experienced horrible treatment. You've been dealing with this for an incredibly long time, and it makes sense that you are feeling the way you do. The important part, and the part that shows how much stronger you are than the bullies (seriously, people who act like that are pretty weak because that's the only way they know how to make themselves feel better or to deal with problems in their life). There's a big difference between having these thoughts and feelings and acting on them. I'm going to give you a link to a list of hotline numbers and other resources. There are people who can talk to you and help you figure out your next steps. Using these resources will help you move forward and live the life you want to without these bullies and toxic people stopping you. It's very possible for you. You've already reached out so you're past the first step. You've got this, and you'll come to believe it. I sincerely wish you the best.
Thank you for writing this, it helps a little. I still can't stop myself overthinking, and its driving me to the brink of insanity. I ruined a perfect chance at a relationship today, over a minor tiny detail that i couldn't stop obsessing about. I try constantly to find way to distract myself, but i can never do it. My mind just takes control, and i have no control over it.
I really appreciate people who write things like this!
Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate knowing that this was a little helpful (or at least something you could relate to and see that you're not alone). I understand the feeling that your mind takes control. I have personal experience with that feeling! Does it help to know that you really can develop control over your mind's overthinking? I do continue to overthink, but I don't listen anymore. (Oh, and I'm sorry about what happened with your relationship. Maybe you can try to reconnect??)