Maintaining One’s Wits with Bipolar
I’m feeling better. The anger and paranoia are gone. I guess I must have been at the end of my hypomanic phase. I’m so glad! It was a minor diversion compared to what it could have been. I guess the medicine made it lighter. It would’ve been better if the medicine had made it stay away. I wonder if they make bipolar medicines like that for me?
Sometimes I want to throw away the key and invent a whole new me. A me that doesn’t have to deal with bipolar. A me that isn’t affected by this disease. A me that coasts through life with normal problems instead of problems caused by a mental illness. But, as I shake my head, I know this isn’t me. I have to deal with the reality that is my life and I have to find a solution.
My solution is to go back to my affirmations and meditation.
I’ve been staying away from it because my mind was too filled with thoughts to be able to meditate. But, now that my hypomanic phase is over, it’s time to get down to the business of being well. Waking up in the morning and staying motivated throughout the day is my idea of wellness. I’m starting to feel more like myself and I love that. I just hope this non-episode phase is here to stay until July when I know my depression phase will be up and running.
It’s a constant battle to maintain one’s wits with bipolar.
Sometimes it feels overwhelming. I just need to get used to the inevitable changes. Bipolar medication isn’t helping to erase my episodes. So, I have to help myself. I have to be in charge even when I can’t be. I need to remember that like gray days, this too shall pass. It doesn’t last forever. This hypomanic phase of mine only lasted two weeks. That’s not forever. The depression phase is more difficult to maneuver. It lasts me from late July to February. That’s a longer time. This year, I’ll get on better medication on time. That’s me being in charge.
Being in charge of my bipolar is a full time job.
I have to be on the lookout for bipolar symptoms. I have to deal with bipolar symptoms. I have to notify my psychiatric nurse when things go awry. It’s a tough job sometimes, but I’m the only one who can do it. I have to talk myself into being strong sometimes, but so be it. Such is a life with bipolar.
Fender, C. (2010, May 13). Maintaining One’s Wits with Bipolar, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, March 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/bipolarvida/2010/05/maintaining-ones-wits-with-bipolar
Author: Cristina Fender
I am afraid I have found that I also return to trying to cope, to keep my wits whenever the worst of the depression or mania passes. When I'm hypomanic, I can sort of keep going, keep to my regiment of medications, exercise, good diet, etc. But how do I keep that going when I'm slipping? I find it terribly difficult to do this. I find all these things harder than a full-time job and often I just can't cope with both.
Stigmas can be a damaging problem especially when, at times, they come from ourselves.
When I first saw the title of the article I thought it might be one for those of us who live with a person who is bipolar. My daughter believes she is better than she was, and in some respects she is. However, it is very difficult to deal with an adult daughter who wants to be treated like an adult (or so she says) and then acts differently. She lives in my house, pays no rent, eats very little of what I make (she has an eating disorder along with obsessive compulsive disorder), has a child which I tend to when I'm not at work because by time I come home she is exhausted from whatever and sleeps. Maintaining my wits (and energy levels) when all I hear from people (her counselor, books, etc) that she must be treated like an adult and make her own choices, but every choice she makes affects my life! I am trying very hard to understand what it must be like to be bipolar and have the other conditions, but who is thinking about, and can help, me? I am probably as frustrated as she is...
It's very difficult to live with bipolar disorder. What your daughter wants is to be treated with respect and understanding. There are counseling sessions available for those who love people with this disorder. Try DBSA or NAMI for some groups.
I wish you both luck.
Dear Christina, Thanks for your update. I'm BP but my hypomania lasts a great deal longer than yours. Then its depression - very little level time. My wife finds it very difficult to deal with my hypomania - I'm irritable, aloof, distant and unresponsive - can you help? - any ways to make me easier to live with?
The only thing I can suggest is that you talk to your doctor. Are you on an antipsychotic? Also, do you get hypomanic at the same time every year, every month? These are things that I would discuss with your doctor.
I also find that when I get angry that it's best to have time to myself.
Hope this helped.