How to Live With Abuse: Connect With Your Intuition

November 30, 2014 Kellie Jo Holly

How can you live with abuse in a healthier way? Learn to trust your intuition and it will keep you safer & saner until you decide to leave the abuse.

How do you live with abuse and learn to trust your intuition after distrusting yourself for so long? Why do you want to revive your intuition anyway? Here's the deal: your abuser wants you isolated from everyone and anything (such as your intuition) that could convince you to leave the relationship.

You've learned how to live with abuse your partner's way. It's time to live with abuse a new way.

How to Live With Abuse In A Healthier Way

Let me be clear: every day you live with abuse, your mind suffers. I do not recommend that you live with abuse. I only know that you have your reasons to stay (See Why Can't I Leave My Abusive Relationship?). I hope that learning to live with abuse more healthfully helps you to eventually end your abusive relationship and find true joy. Until that day, your intuition (a.k.a. God's voice, your soul, your essence, etc.) is the strongest force in your possession. You should use it.

Once you allow intuition's voice to ring in your ears, you will not be able to live the same way. You will change. Your relationship will change. And through your actions, the abuse will end one way or another. End Your Abusive Relationship:Trusting Your Intuition promises to end to your abusive relationship, but it doesn't promise a fast, easy or pain-free end. So let's get started with learning to live with abuse for the time being.

How to Trust Your Intuition

There are three things to do to trust your intuition:

  • First, you must want to hear its wisdom.
  • Second, you must trust the voice you hear.
  • Thirdly, you must do as your intuition instructs.

That's all there is to it. I know, I know, it seems like there should be a workshop or retreat involved in this work. You could seek out a gathering like that, but you do not have to wait for it. You can do this work within yourself. You need you and your intuition, nothing else.

Techniques To Help You Trust Your Intuition

How can you trust your intuition while living in abuse? Didn't your intuition get you into this mess?

There are exercises and tools to help you hear your intuition again. One of my favorite intuitive tools are Tarot cards with pictures that speak to me. The Tarot is a storybook of every human experience you can think of shuffled together and then laid out in front of you. Remember to trust the voice you hear as you look at the pictures. Where will the story-line naturally lead if you do nothing to change its course?

Journals (such as a mood journal) also help you learn to trust your intuition. You could write a page a day of nothing but gobbledy-gook with the intention of hearing your small voice. One day, you will hear it. Write down what you hear. Or use your journal more conventionally to record what your intuition said, what you did about it, how the situation turned out and how you feel about it. Over time, you will see how using your intuition strengthens you.

A very simple way to work with your intuition is to decide to do only as that small voice suggests for an entire day. Most of us have external forces to attend to like jobs or children. Plan to attend to your responsibilities, but respond to them after listening to hear if intuition has anything to say about it. For example, say your child acts out and deserves reprimand. Instead of sitting them in time-out automatically, take a moment to listen to your intuition. Your intuition might tell you, "Yes, time-out is the answer." But it may tell you something else.

Live With Abuse? Trusting Your Intuition Will Help You Leave

That little voice we call intuition can grow very loud and strong when you cultivate it and trust it. Intuition will notice every small abuse put upon you. Intuition will help you stop taking the abuse personally. Intuition will show you, through how it tells you to act, that there is nothing you can do to make your controller stop abusing.

Eventually, your intuition will show you that fixing your abusive relationship amounts to spending years trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Eventually, you will see how fruitless your efforts are and compare the wasted effort to the pain. Intuition will help you finally leave your abusive relationship.

Remember that your controller wants you isolated, so you could best reconnect with your intuition in secret. Just as you wouldn't share a domestic violence safety plan with your abuser, you do not want to share this exciting internal work either. Your wanna-be-controller will surely try to dissuade you from proceeding.

You can also find Kellie Jo Holly on her website, Google+, Facebook and Twitter.

*Both women and men could be abusers or victims, so please do not take my pronoun choices as an implication that one gender abuses and the other is victimized.

APA Reference
Jo, K. (2014, November 30). How to Live With Abuse: Connect With Your Intuition, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 25 from

Author: Kellie Jo Holly

October, 29 2021 at 9:03 am

Well this is great since she has historically used tarot cards to explain why my sister, mother, people at work, etc, should be totally ignored. I was actually seeing the patterns until I got to this section and discovered her tarot readings were a legitimate form of divination. This is extremely confusing and I wish I hadn’t read.

January, 11 2021 at 9:36 pm

Sometimes it’s not a choice. Many women and children are trapped in domestic and child abuse by court systems that have faulty procedures and fail to protect victims.
Some of us desperately want to be free of abuse but outside forces ( courts) have failed us.

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