Holiday From Abuse

November 25, 2011 Kellie Jo Holly

I was sitting around on Thanksgiving Day thinking about all of the holiday traditions I left behind when I left my husband. Amazingly, there aren't any that I miss. I really did try to get myself choked up about my lack of traditional family time, but the tears wouldn't come. Instead, I ended up with a top ten list of the holiday traditions I happily leave in my past.

1.) His insistence on his family's traditional foods. That wouldn't be so bad except my family's traditional dishes were unapproved. grateful

2.) His sinister moods and silences as he slithered about the house looking for things or conversations to disapprove of to the point of picking a fight.

3.) His complaints about what is on television. Those people should know that the hard workers of this country are off today and deserve better programming!

4.) His annual dire Thanksgiving warning about over-spending for Christmas with the implication that I don't know how to manage his money well enough to have a Christmas list at all.

5.) His refusal to help with the cooking, serving, or clean-up. (See #3 about the hard workers and what they deserve).

6.) His ultimate disappearance into the garage to drink beer and adhere to his demanding personal schedule despite having the day off to spend with his family, if he so chose.

7.) His grumpy return to the house due to me purposely timing dinner's completion in order to to screw up his momentum (for drinking beer and piddling in the garage).

8.) His perfunctory calls to family followed by an open sharing of his derogatory opinion of each person he'd just spoken to, except for his grandma who is above reproach.

9.) His trips to his locked closet to retrieve Jim Beam followed by the clanking of ice from the freezer and the pop of a soda can.

10.) My constant wondering of if and when he was going to blow up and let us all have it for a miniscule occurrence that everyone except for him found humorous.

This Thanksgiving, I celebrated a holiday from abuse - his detrimental presence is decidedly absent. I look forward to the entire holiday season because I now live a life of relative peace, and for that I am grateful.

I hope your holidays are likewise peaceful.

APA Reference
Jo, K. (2011, November 25). Holiday From Abuse, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, April 15 from

Author: Kellie Jo Holly

November, 12 2014 at 3:15 am

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November, 27 2011 at 4:22 pm

Its my first holiday season out and I don't miss any of that stuff! Had a great relaxed meal!

November, 27 2011 at 4:18 am

wow. Now my husband doesnt drink but does all the other stuff! I am planning on leaving after Christmas but am afraid I wont have a place to live with my girls. I am looking inot housing/apartments but my wages are low even though I have a colege degree. Any advice would help so much!

November, 25 2011 at 6:08 pm

Amen to THAT... Happy Thanksgiving, Kelly. It's well an truly deserved...

Angela E. Gambrel
November, 25 2011 at 4:40 pm

This was my first holiday without my husband, too, and I thought I would get all choked up. But frankly I am finding him a lot easier to get over than I thought I would. If anything, I felt more relaxed and was actually able to eat a real holiday meal for the first time in years. Maybe I am just a shallow person.

November, 25 2011 at 2:11 pm

I could have written this word for word. It gave me a chuckle and made me even more thankful that I am out, free and able to live without abuse surrounding every aspect of my existence.

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