Wanted: Anxiety Relief

November 5, 2010 Kate White

The fear's on different floors, locked in boxes, scattered in the places, worn out spaces I don't go. And if that's true, if it's everywhere and nowhere and exactly right here, where I don't want to look - then it's probably a big thing. Bigger than me. Maybe bigger than I should mess with:

But I want to understand.
Don't you?

Things thought while captive


Trauma, PTSD, anxiety attacks. OCD, social anxiety, phobias, mental health. What do all those labels mean? On a good day, hopefully not too much. Not the weight of the world, not on a good day.

For anxiety sufferers, a whole lot of the time they're just a fancy way of saying that we're lonely, restless, aching, breaking, stunned, silent, scared, trapped... Exhausted.

It's like I've spent a lifetime playing pin the tail on the donkey, and it's luck, if now and then, the labels fit; If we can wear them without feeling too broken, bitter, numb.

Just now, I'm a little roughed up: My gut filled with dread, heavy even though it's empty and I feel a bit ill because I'm trying to think what makes me so scared that I need to jump out of my skin.

Mental health, stigma, and anxiety

This isn't about right and wrong. Most people find it hard to tolerate ambiguities, and isn't anxiety just that? Ambiguous.

First you're shaking, then you're stressed: It's oh so quiet, and then...

It's hard to get this anxiety thing when your mind thinks in black and white, when opposites attract and your breath sucks you in like a vacuum and it doesn't let go.

So you try to make space, let the grey in; You try to get out there, do all the things you're supposed to do, that the doctor, anxiety therapist, psychiatrist, tells you to do.

Hold up your end of the bargain. And if that's not enough, c'est la vie. It's not my fault-- I didn't start this thing.

It started long ago, maybe in my genes. Runs in the family, y'know, or maybe Freud was right, even if he was a cokehead.

Maybe I'll never know except that I didn't start this thing,
this thing that only I can finish.

Coping with Anxiety

By packing my purse full of preventative measures, things that prop me up, a flashlight to unveil the darkness and a cell phone, just in case I need to call a cab to get away from yesterday, fast.

I sit around at 4am, staring at the television screen: It's standing still, my heart is beating,
Man, I wish the Xanax would kick in.

And it will go as quickly as it came, bit by bit, then all at once.
Like the great flood, and I was the sea.

Do you see me? I'm trying not to run too far away, so maybe you'll catch me. Maybe I'll be able to just keep still, think the right thing, take the right pill.

There's always tomorrow, that much I know. And maybe, just maybe I could find anxiety relief.

APA Reference
White, K. (2010, November 5). Wanted: Anxiety Relief, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 14 from

Author: Kate White

Dr Musli Ferati
November, 11 2010 at 7:12 am

When I'm anxious, I usually read professional literature as well as poetry. This manner of my reaction help me to avoid the consumption of anxiolitic medication. To be honest, sometimes I ingest Tb Helex, but this occur very rare. Afterwards, a great number of my psychiatric patients are appreciate with this method of treatment of anxiety, especially intellectual ones.

November, 7 2010 at 9:13 am

Please keep your chin up. Anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with but YOU CAN do it! We live in an insane world, and it makes us insane. Please know you are not alone and there are many of us that deal with anxiety. Whether its caused by past trauma or experiences or whether its genetic, we are all different but the same. It really is frustrating when you cant even control your own mind and feel like you are on the edge of loosing it! But, I have lived with anxiety since I was 15 and I am now 31, and I understand where you are coming from. I would sometimes just feel so wound up, like a live wire that kept zapping and would never turn off. I felt unreal, like the world was passing me by, but I was not a part of it. I felt like I was in a fishbowl, detached from life. But I found that there were several things I could do to reduce the anxiety. There are breathing techniques, changes in diet, exercise, and if you like to go the natural route, maybe you could try some herbs. And Xanax works great for immediate effects, but maybe you could try an SSRI, that seems to have worked for me because I can still function and feel normal, work, and not have that groggy, foggy feeling. But please keep your chin up and don't give up!! I have a site all about dealing with anxiety, and I hope it may be of some help to you. I am not selling anything, I'm just a regular guy dealing with anxiety, and it is an informative site to help you learn about your anxiety and possibly find some solutions. Its and maybe it might be helpful for you. I wish you the best! It's not an easy road, but you CAN beat it, just don't give up, keep trying different things until you find what works, you can do it!

November, 6 2010 at 12:32 pm

Sweet lady. When anxiety and trauma symptoms are getting too intense, he best thing you can do (as you know) is reach out and share. Your experiences might be individual but your experiences of trauma and anxiety, horrible as they are, are not. We, your fellow sufferers embrace you. And not just because we know what it's like. But because we are thankful that you are standing up and writing about your experiences so very bravely.

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