Talk About Suicide to Erase the Shame of Talking About Suicide
I'm talking about suicide, and I won't hold back. A friend of mine killed himself this week. He wrapped a noose around his neck and took his own life. I’m talking about it. And I’m not sugar-coating it. The statuses of those who knew him dominate my Facebook newsfeed, and I’m noticing that although everyone knows what happened, no one mentions it in writing. No one is openly talking about what took this young man away from us 30 or 40 years too soon (Understanding and Helping the Suicidal Person).
If We Talked About Depression, We'd Prevent Suicide
I wish I'd had the chance to talk with my friends about my depression and my suicide attempt. But I didn't know he was suffering. He didn't talk about his depression to me. He was a great guy. A superbly talented musician who would go any lengths out of his way to help a friend. He was a brilliant comedian and captured the attention of everyone in the room the second he walked in. But under the guise of this light-hearted, easy-going musician, lay a disturbed soul filled with a quiet sadness. A sadness that, perhaps, if talked about openly, could have helped to spare his life.
The stigma surrounding depression and suicide is still enormous. Although we claim to be moving forward when it comes to mental health, we, as a society, are still terribly frightened to talk openly about suicide. Which is odd, because most people know someone who has taken, or attempted to take their own life.
It's Us Versus Suicide: Let's Coax Suicide Out of the Shadow
When I attempted suicide about fifteen years ago, it was a taboo topic that was simply not talked about. I remember when I went back to high school after a few weeks off recovering from my overdose in hospital, I only told one or two people what had actually happened.
When a client comes into my office and mentions a previous suicide attempt, they say so with shame and extreme guilt. It’s almost as if we are all scared to say the word suicide.
So, what can we do about it? Just as in any therapy, the best solution is simply to talk about it. The more we talk about it, the more we hear about it. The more we hear about it, the easier it becomes for those feeling suicidal to reach out for help.
Feeling Suicidal Is Nothing to be Ashamed Of
Feeling suicidal doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you any less than anyone else. It signifies a plight that begs to be understood. All of our plights are different, but all are worth surviving.
Suicide can be prevented. And it starts with you.
Dedicated to the memory of Mikey. And to his friends and family, my thoughts are with you.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
Curry, C. (2012, July 16). Talk About Suicide to Erase the Shame of Talking About Suicide, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, July 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/survivingmentalhealthstigma/2012/07/talking-about-depression
Author: Chris Curry
I left a good job to move closer to my family it was both our wishes.
But the job market is terrible in the south .
We had to move in with my parents because I don't earn enough
My wife has MS and can't work anymore yet this disability has bee denied
She is very depressed and has done a 180 on me.
I have never felt so sad. I think about ending it but I can't
I don't know what to do the move here almost killed me with stress
That putme in the hospital. All our money went to hospital bills
I feel the end is near.
I'm also one of those that is up, I try help other people who are dealing with depression and suicide. Sometimes the pain is too much and I have to pull away before I fall into that dark hole, I often go into.
Thanks for sharing your article and your thoughts, I plan on sharing this on FB. Thanks again.
The more one talks about it the more you help yourself and others. Others who are suffering silently will be more apt to open up and discuss their situation. There is so much encouragement when you know others are enduring the same thing.
I thank those who do not understand but listen and try to help.
If you suffer silently please seek help. You are worth it. You really are. If you know someone that does give them what they need. Attention. Even if you do not know what to say, don't ignore that person. Just be nice.
I know I do not need to be judged but need hugs.
Even the bible says to encourage the depressed souls.
You may never know the outcome of a kind word. You may just save a life.
My heart goes out to any who suffer or who have lost loved ones to suicide.
When someone is contemplating killing themselves they are at their lowest ebb. It is quite literally a matter of life and death. Sometimes a suicidal person just wants you to sit with them, you don't even have to say anything, but when they talk, you just listen and try not to 'cheer them up' or say things like 'come on, it can't be that bad'. It IS that bad. But I find a lot of the time if you just sit and be with a suicidal person, they can make the decision to live, even if it's just for one more day. A suicidal person just wants to know that there is someone there who's not going to judge, belittle or try to dissuade them even if they do decide to end their life.
My daughter was one of those people that was always so "up" and positive about everything (at least that is what she showed the rest of the world). When she walked into a room she just lit it up with her bright smile and that awesome personality that she had. Her closest friends had no idea the hopelessness and sadness she carried around with her, I had no idea either and we were the best of friends, We were always together, daily. She hid it well.
It seems that the nicest most positive people that you meet are the ones that end up dying or attempt to die by suicide, These are the very people that the world needs more of. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't just the negativity, cruelness and ugliness world of the world itself that gets the best of these kind and loving souls.
This does not mean that we cannot see into the heart of another human being and threat each other as we should, with respect and dignity.
And on the other side, while worrying these things ourselves, how do we talk about such desperate feelings without making our kind, wonderful friends feel despair? How do you show tears to those who see you as positive and strong?
If we know that to some level, everyone hides unknown darkness in their hearts, how do we decide that our darkness is big enough to concern others? When I was young, I learned not to complain about anything, because every time I did (no matter large or small), someone would have some other, far more terrible story to tell. I knew the real explanation for it--that people start talking when someone else does--but I still felt that every time I complained, something terrible would happen to someone else, and that my complaints that paled so much in comparison should never have been let out.
I didn't understand at that time that perhaps my stupid complaint was what let someone else feel comfortable about discussing theirs, and I don't think it's an intuitive thing to understand while feeling woefully petty. Perhaps there's a better way to communicate.
Sorry for your loss.