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Life with Bob

Summer's end is always bittersweet for me. It is probably my favorite time of the year. I still carrying the excitement for the warm weather, vacations and happy bliss that comes with summertime. So just as Bob laments back-to-school time, I feel a little sad when the end of summer comes.
Vacation with your special needs child require a special set of rules. Not unlike some of the rules you may have in place at home. Having rules when vacationing allows me peace of mind. Vacationing with your special needs child isn't easy, but it can be fun. Here are some rules I use when traveling with Bob.
Vacation as self-care? Regular breaks from the same routine of dealing with and managing your child's mental health is necessary for you to recharge. It also allows your special needs child an opportunity to just be a kid. While vacation can be a great thing, it can also bring its own challenges.
Last week, I shared how goal-setting can be a positive way to motivate your special needs child. Bob is definitely motivated by having a goal in mind. The goal he wanted to accomplish was to walk to school on his own. So what was the result?
Goal-setting? It is possible. Parenting a child with mental illness comes with many challenges, not least of all hitting milestones and teaching responsibility.  As summer's end is fast-approaching, you've probably thinking about getting ready for the school year. Or even dreading it. Another year filled with calls from the teacher, therapist, etc about your child's mental health and behavioral issues. And while this may be a reality for you, setting and accomplishing goals with your special needs child can be a reality, too.
Parenting a child with mental illness brings about some anxiety. The upcoming school year helps me reflect on Bob. Much more so when the retailers are preparing for school shopping time. I'm an anxious person so I imagine Bob has a hard time dealing with me. I worry about making sure that he has everything he needs for school - supplies, review of the rules and some patience. Reflecting on your special needs child before school starts can help ease your worries.
Positivity can quickly go out the window when parenting a child with mental illness. We get so caught up in the negativity that we can't see the positive things about our children. We get frustrated, upset, sad, etc when we feel stuck or alone. Add to that complaints that other people give about your child. We just can't see the positive.
Talking with a teacher is always hard. It's about advocating for your child. It's especially hard if the teacher has already heard through the grapevine or seen your child's school record. But, what if a new teacher does not know anything about your child? For years, advocating has been a part of my life. I've met with teachers, after-school counselors, etc. all to deal with Bob's behavioral and academic issues. That's my role as the parent. Meeting with anyone to talk about Bob should be a breeze, but it is the first time in a long time that I'll be talking with someone who has no idea of Bob's ADHD.
There's always tomorrow. After some tough days at work, I often find myself worrying about what I could have done better. Same thing goes for parenting. Some days I really mess up with Bob. It could be in the way that I talk to him or if I forget something important for him. I put pressure on myself to do my best both professionally and personally. Sometimes, I forget that I don't have to.
Self-Care is all about doing good things for yourself. Having Fun is what summertime is all about. But, parenting a child with mental illness doesn't leave much room for fun. So you have to make room for it. Just as your child needs food, shelter, an education as well as fun, you do, too.