Framing Goodbyes to Diminish Anxiety
There is nothing that causes a flare-up of my anxiety quite like having to say goodbye. It feels like the worst thing in the world I could do is to give up a good opportunity, but sometimes in life, I have to take a risk. This article is going to be about how I diminish the anxiety I feel when I have to say goodbye.
My Plan to Limit My Anxiety Over Goodbyes
What My Anxiety Looks Like
Anxiety looks different depending on who is experiencing it. For me, it looks like a lot of pacing; I pick the skin off the sides of my fingers and bite my lips, I become very irritable and rigid, I'm not able to adapt well to changes in plans or overall spontaneous changes.
To be frank, I hate becoming like this, and I'm fairly certain my loved ones don't like it much, either. It becomes incredibly difficult to navigate the world when you're afraid of everything right around the corner. Due to hating when anxiety hits, I've developed a way to say goodbyes to diminish the effect it has on my anxiety.
Be Sure You're Ready to Go
My first step is to be honest with myself if the choice I'm making is really what I want. A lot of anxiety can stem from the fact that I'm giving up a good opportunity. However, if I am sure that the opportunity I'm getting in exchange is better for me, then it makes it easier to risk it all.
With all this being the case, the first question I ever ask myself is, "Do I really want this." If there is some deliberation on whether or not I actually do, I don't make any decisions until I've settled that. If I am sure that I don't want the change, or decide that I can never be sure that I want it, then I will give it up. If I decide that I would prefer the new opportunity, then I know I'm ready for step two.
A Proper Farewell
Now that I have decided to make a change and pursue something new, the second step is to give everything that I am giving up a proper farewell. This includes people such as family members when I'm about to make a big move, coworkers when I'm moving on to the next job, or even material items or abstract opportunities that I won't be in contact with anymore.
By making sure I have given everything a proper goodbye, I will feel more at peace with the decision I've made to leave it behind.
Make a List
After completing step two and being ready to move on, the third step is to make a list. I make a comprehensive list of every single thing I have to complete before I am ready to give my final farewell.
For instance, I recently left for a small trip and had some errands to run. I made a list to remember that I needed to return my rented library books, fold my unpacked laundry, and pack up the perishable food. Making a list really helps cut down the anxiety I would feel if I left something behind.
I am about to say my final farewell to you guys, as this is my last post on HealthyPlace. I feel anxiety about giving up such a great opportunity, but after being sure about my final decision, giving a proper farewell, and making a list of everything to do before I go, I am ready to move on.
Thank you for everything. What do you guys do to diminish anxiety when you have to say goodbye?
Paige, A. (2021, June 14). Framing Goodbyes to Diminish Anxiety, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, October 3 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/mentalillnessinthefamily/2021/6/framing-goodbyes-to-diminish-anxiety