A Power Greater than Me Broke the Insanity of My Addiction
A power greater than you can help with our addiction. A good example of insanity: doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. That describes my addiction to a T. Of course, I knew that my actions caused myself and others great harm and yet I repeatedly chose those actions, thinking this time the result would be different. My life had become unmanageable and my very best efforts to abstain failed miserably. But once I acknowledged a power greater than me, God broke my addiction cycle and set me free.
I Couldn't Break My Addiction Without a Power Greater than Me
I wanted desperately to be freed from the chains of addiction. I tried everything in my might to free myself from the snare of drugs and alcohol. Maybe if I found a better code of morals or a better philosophy to live by I could will myself to not use.
I always thought I would be the exception. I could beat drugs and alcohol. This thinking caused me frustration and failure. A number of times I'd swear off drugs and alcohol are too numerous to count. Swearing them off and using an hour later confirmed how powerless I was. It was clear that no human power could restore me to sanity.
A Power Greater than Me: The 'G' Word
I loved using so much, I knew that it would take nothing short of an act of God to heal me. An act of God is exactly what it took. That "G" word makes all addicts nervous at first. We're all stepping into recovery with our own preconceived notions of God. Some of us have no belief at all. Others have ideologies that were passed onto us from childhood. Me, I had always believed in a power greater than myself, but was very angry at Him. I had resisted and rebelled against Him, but now needed Him to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Scrap Your Previous Ideas About God
The best advice I can ever give to a struggling addict is to scrap all your ideas, thus far, of God. You do not need to consider anyone else's ideas of God either. This is the most personal and intimate thing in life. God doesn't need to be a complex, complicated idea. Just a step of trust. Start fresh and you will find that even the smallest effort to seek Him, will be met with renewed, supernatural strength and hope.
For me, to restore my conscious contact with God, I needed two things.
- I had to understand that His dealings with me were not an exceptional case of unfairness.
- I had to trust His sovereignty and be willing to put my life into His care. (What a relief that was. Finally, someone else in charge.)
I started with a simple request: Please take away my desire for drugs and alcohol. When I failed at first, I continued trusting that He was working on my behalf and then there was a day when I failed no more. This is the firm foundation in which my sobriety is built. Without a power greater than me, nothing else works in addiction recovery.
Kuykendall, M. (2017, September 27). A Power Greater than Me Broke the Insanity of My Addiction, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, December 6 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2017/09/breaking-addiction