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The Feeling of Being Alone and Depression

May 22, 2019 Jennifer Smith

Have you ever noticed how depression can give us the feeling of being alone, even when we're surrounded by people? Sometimes it doesn't even matter if the people around us are our closest friends or family members. We may even be talking and laughing; we appear to be having fun, yet, on the inside, our depression has us feeling completely alone. How do we cope when the feeling of being alone overtakes us? Are our coping mechanisms always healthy?

Shutting Down When We Get the Feeling of Being Alone

Sometimes I shut down emotionally and mentally when depression makes me feel alone. I might still go out with friends and spend time with family, but I will sit quietly. I feel like I'm a spectator simply watching others play a game. It's as if there is fog over me or a thin veil that separates me from everyone else.

I'm just not really interested in what's happening, and I feel that everyone else is getting along fine without my interference, anyway. If anyone tries to talk to me, I'll respond with one or two-word answers only. I've found it best to just ride these seasons out. I can't force myself to stop feeling this way. The feeling comes, and then it passes. I would suggest, however, if you find yourself in an extended period of feeling shut down emotionally and mentally because of depression, that you speak with your doctor or therapist. Being alone in your thoughts too much can be detrimental to your mental health. 

Oversharing When We Feel Alone

I think this is a part of depression that doesn't get discussed often: oversharing. When I'm feeling alone, and I finally go out, I will sometimes delve more deeply into the darkest parts of my depression than most people are comfortable with. This is especially true with people I've just met or people I don't know well. I will hear myself talking and think, "Stop. Stop talking now." But my mouth keeps going. I don't know why.

Maybe it's because my depression makes me feel alone, and, because of that, I want someone to hear my complete truth -- every ugly, dark thing -- and still accept me. Part of it could be that I've lost people who I'd considered good friends when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Now I feel the need to weed people out at the beginning, but it's not a healthy practice. The truth is that I always feel awkward after I overshare, which then worsens my depression and, consequently, my feelings of being alone.

The Feeling of Being Alone and Self-Isolation

Finally, we may shut ourselves off completely by avoiding contact with other people when we have that feeling of being alone. I've done this quite a few times. Other than my immediate family, I've dropped out of other people's lives for varying periods of time. I felt alone, and I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to answer questions. I didn't want to tell people I was struggling with my depression. I didn't want to pretend like everything was fine. I didn't want to make small talk. 

It was all too much effort, and it required energy that I did not have. Every bit of energy I had during these times I had to use to stay alive and take care of my family. Some days I did the bare minimum, and that was okay. Again, if you have some periods of time like this, I believe it's normal; however, if you find yourself in an extended season of feeling this way, then I strongly encourage you to speak with your doctor or therapist about how your depression is causing you to isolate yourself. Some alone time is beneficial, but you also need to interact with other people. 

How does the feeling of being alone due to your depression affect you? What coping skills have you found to deal with these feelings? 

APA Reference
Smith, J. (2019, May 22). The Feeling of Being Alone and Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, February 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/copingwithdepression/2019/5/the-feeling-of-being-alone-and-depression



Author: Jennifer Smith

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Darrell retired 6 years now after 30 as a prison guard
July, 14 2022 at 4:16 am

So tired of being alone the feeling makes me depressed and it effects everyrhing in my life every time i meet a woman who gives me the feeling that i finally found her shes gone and then im even more lonely and heartbroken the only way the pain inside will ever go awsy is to die ive known this for so many yesrs i cant compete with the guys whose beds are never empty yet they hit their women and as they say get the girl why is that ? I know what causes my depression but I know what tskes it away. YES talking to professionals helps for the moment but it can't solve my problem people say don't worry you'll meet that woman when you least expect it. They're right i do then when they're gone I'm worse cause I feel like these women came to me because they had no where else to go but like slot of women they go back because they love the guy not realizing they themselves aren't loved as much as they love their guy . I'm 58 there's no one gonna show up in my life it seems I don't go out trying to find anyone they pretty much just end up being a friend at first yet once gone I'm treated like they don't know me when in the honest truth of it all I m willing to just be the friend for them but they stop being the friend to me. It's not like I get into a relationship with them on day one. It's over a few months but what kills it is the ex calls and says sorry and considering the timentheg e spent together they choose to go back to the same guy same abuse and then when they do leave its never bsck to Me but to a different zip code even I didn't even qualify for second best in thier eyes. But just never opening the door again and staying inside isn't going to solve the one problem which in turn almost solves the msin one. When a woman mskes me at peace the 75k tax debt the empty bank account the not having a loyal best friend aren't even an ounce of stress to me. When i commit I commit they're flaws if any are welcomed compared to the feelings I experience daily

Atul gupta
July, 13 2019 at 1:09 am

Hi, the point you have mention and the behavioral changes this what exactly happening with me from past week. i do start searching about psychologist in Mumbai to know about depression and hot to deal with it.. your article some what like, some one has write my story ....

July, 13 2019 at 6:52 am

Hello, Atul. Thank you for your comment. I am sorry to hear that you are possibly experiencing depression; however, I am so glad you took the courageous step of contacting a health care professional. Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience, and I wish you the best.

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