Grandiosity: A Bipolar Symptom That Doesn't Fit Me
A common bipolar symptom that often occurs in manic episodes is that of grandiosity – having an inflated sense of self, believing that one has special powers, spiritual connections, or religious relationships. This is a simple definition of grandiosity, but I find that in my personal experience, as many people do, that I do not perfectly fit into this textbook definition.
Grandiosity Makes Me Feel Isolated
Oftentimes while in class, for example, when going over philosophical things, I feel as if I always have many of the same philosophical topics swirling around in my head that seem more realistic to me while others discuss them as if they are foreign ideas. Some peers, when discussing these topics during class, even go as far as calling them “psycho” and “crazy,” while I'm sitting there feeling as if I'm thinking on an entirely different level with an advanced level of understanding and perception.
Please don't get me wrong here. I do not believe that I am superior to anyone else. I simply feel as if I'm different and isolated from everyone, as if my brain works and thinks in different ways, differently than anyone else's.
Grandiosity makes me feel isolated and alone, as if no one understands me. I find it incredibly difficult to even verbally express these things to others. I have these grand ideas in my head, but as soon as I open my mouth to share, I get stuck. I feel ridiculous and stupid, and again begin feeling as if I'm losing my mind because I cannot share what's going on in my head.
Is this grandiose behavior? Are these feelings even considered grandiose ideas? Or are they simply grievances that I dwell on? Am I one of the only one who feels this way, or is this a common maddening symptom that many other people living with bipolar disorder experience as well?
What do you think?
Poe, A. (2013, October 15). Grandiosity: A Bipolar Symptom That Doesn't Fit Me, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, July 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/bipolarvida/2013/10/grandiosity-a-bipolar-symptom-or-a-personality-trait
Author: Alexa Poe
I get manic delusions like ruling the world and the such. I am cocky because I speak several languages but I am not overtly grandiose about it.
But as an adult with bipolar II, it has morphed into feeling clearly superior intellectually to everyone else and needing to demonstrate it. I develop a "mania" for something and get obsessive about it and "educate" everybody on the details. I also think I foresee events, and am out ahead of everyone else in my analysis of news, culture, etc. I am very persuasive too! I have talked people into doing stuff they really didn't want to do. It's only long after it's faded that I realize it was hypomania.
Maybe you are gifted in those areas! Being bipolar doesn't make it wrong. In fact, bipolar is associated with real creativity and insight...one of its few benefits. A psychiatrist asked me when I was 20 if I had any "grandiose" thoughts and I said that sometimes I think I'm a genius. He brushed it off, saying "well, maybe you are a genius." It's a fine line!
However, if it's something like, for instance, believing that you are a scientist who has found the cause and potential cure of autism when you have absolutely no medical training and little knowledge of the disease (as has happened to me before), then it's most likely a symptom of mania.
Either that or I have some really awesome untapped talent.
I hear so many different opinions on this. A few people have told me that it could be mania or just a "bipolar thing," while other people say the same thing as you. Who knows -- maybe I just over-analyze everything!
Again, thanks for sharing, and I hope you're well!
I hope you enjoy your week, too, and I hope you're well!