Footprints in the snow.. - confidence has dropped.

Sometimes i wonder if i live in the dream world. Confidence has taken a hit and have questioned my job offer to the point where i am pretty sure now that i am going to turn it down. made a pros and cons list of the job vs staying in current position. cons outweigh the pros by almost double. and have given the pros a great deal of thought. maybe its something i will have the confidence to do at some point.. but maybe now is not the right time...? i dont feel that i can manage right not without my support network and stability.. if i am struggling here then maybe going could be the biggest mistake i have ever made..? its safer to just stay put.. maybe thats a mistake.. but my mistake to make..? i just wish i hadnt gone into work on a high and told everyone that i had got it and that i am 99.9% sure i was going to take it.. they say there is always a silver lining.. at least i have that .1% to make an excuse as to why i wont be going. unless i do another 180. in the next 24 hours. thing is.. i applied on a low. assessed on a low. came back on a high. and the success took me on a higher still high.and now am stuck on the floor once again. luckily several of the friends that really know me. are behind me whatever happens . feel like i am a complete fool and a failure. but this time of yr is supposed to be happy. so am determined to come through this smiling.. :-) xxx