Sputtering but moving forward

I saw the Dr today and everything was OK but I did have blood in my urine. We took another sample and we will see... I got the physician to renew my Welbutrin prescription so I'm set for a month. The reason the title of this blog is "sputtering but moving forward" is that I am faltering both in the physical things I need to do and the mental outlook I have. Someone recently wrote about scars and that the deepest ones are not seen; well my deepest ones are felt deeply in my psyche. They affect the way I view the world. They cause me to flashback constantly on how "I will never succeed" or how "I am not worthy of success". This is my biggest battle; to overcome the thought processes that are ingrained in my personality. Weather I receive help or counseling or whatever, I will never get better until I can learn to turn the way I think around.