It's all Alice in Wonderland.

hahaha..sooooo many drugs...this pill will make you grow taller, this one will make you grow shorter.  I hate taking these drugs.  I hate having to take meds for the rest of my natural born life.  I hate being broken.  I hate the generations that came before me that gave me this.  I hate myself for having this.  Sometimes I feel like it would be better to just say screw it and not take the meds.  Sometimes I want to never go back to the doctor again.  I don't want to keep failing in life but I don't want to deal with dealing with this. I want to call a do-over in my life.  I walk around now and look at the people around me and think "why me?" I look at my family and friends and realize that the can never understand what I am going through.  I feel like I will always be alone in this.  I guess I'll just hold on until the next manic episode and I'll feel a million times better..or until I get a new prescription.