Anxiety and Overthinking Everything
Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.
Ways Anxiety Causes Overthinking
An effect of any type of anxiety is overthinking everything. There are common themes to the way anxiety causes overthinking. Perhaps this generic list will remind you of specific racing thoughts you experience and help you realize that you're not alone in overthinking everything because of anxiety.
- Obsessing over what we should say/should have said/did say/didn't say (common in social anxiety)
- Worrying incessantly about who we are and how we are measuring up to the world (common in social and performance anxiety)
- Creating fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go wrong for ourselves, loved ones, and the world (common in generalized anxiety disorder)
- Wild, imagined results of our own wild, imagined faults and incompetencies (all anxiety disorders)
- Fear of having a panic attack in public and possibly thinking that you can't leave home because of it (panic disorder with or without agoraphobia)
- Worrying about a multitude of obsessive thoughts, sometimes scary ones and thinking about them constantly (obsessive-compulsive disorder)
- Thinking -- overthinking -- a tumbling chain of worries, vague thoughts, and specific thoughts (all anxiety disorders)
Result of Anxiety and Overthinking
With anxiety, not only are these thoughts (and more) running through our brains, but they are always running through our brains, non-stop, endlessly. Like a gerbil hooked up to an endless drip of an energy drink, they run and run and wheel around in one place, going absolutely nowhere. Day and night, the wheel squeaks.
Anxiety and overthinking everything makes us both tired and wired. One result of the thinking too much that comes with anxiety is that we are often left feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Having these same anxious messages run through our head everywhere we go takes its toll.
Further, another dangerous result of anxiety and overthinking everything is that we start to believe what we think. After all, if we think it, it's real, and if we think it constantly, it's very real. Right? No. This is a trick anxiety plays. Anxiety causes overthinking, but with anxiety, these thoughts aren't always trustworthy.
You have the power and the ability to interfere in anxiety's overthinking everything. It's a process that involves many steps, but a step you can take right now to slow down that gerbil is to have something with you or around you to divert your attention. Rather than arguing with your thoughts or obsessing over them, gently shift your attention onto something else, something neutral. By thinking about something insignificant, you weaken anxiety's ability to cause you to overthink everything.
I explain this further in the below video. I invite you to tune in.
NCC, T. (2015, December 31). Anxiety and Overthinking Everything, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/12/anxiety-and-over-thinking-everything
Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
I don't think your English is bad at all. It's very good, actually. I understand exactly what you said. In this setting, it could be harmful to you if I tried to tell you that you have depression or anxiety. That would not be helpful. I will just observe that what you shared does have elements of anxiety, especially performance anxiety, perfectionism, and a lot of pressure. A big part of this type of anxiety is the belief that you must be "good enough" to pursue a certain major/program in school, job, career, etc. It can feel as though there are no options. Then the thought of disappointing parents makes things even worse. Sorting this out with someone could be very helpful. It could be a mental health professional, or a trusted relative, teacher, spiritual leader, parent, etc. There are so many paths. There are good options for you no matter what that result is, even if it's not the one you want (and who knows -- it could be what you want!). But it's hard to see those options on your own when you're so close. If you can talk with someone regularly and talk about your hopes, dreams, goals, visions for your future life and how to get going in the direction you want to go. If you feel that things aren't getting better or are getting worse, a visit to your doctor or a therapist might be very helpful, too. Right now, school and exams are huge. They won't always be. And they are a part of what you need for your next step, but other things are important, too. Opening up to someone you trust might go a long way in reducing your anxiety.
I’m a 26 year old and I was moving in my new house with my boyfriend. I really was looking forward for this change but all of a sudden anxiety kicked in. I fear tk move and until my anxiety gets better I am not willing to move. It’s been over a month worrying and fearing that this anxiety wont leave me in peace. I am always asking myself why I suddenly changed my mind from moving. I am in the cycle that I am anxious about my anxiety.
Anxiety can be a trap and a vicious circle -- you comment about the cycle of being anxious about your anxiety captures this well! I'm wondering if you've heard of adjustment disorder. It's a (usually) temporary condition caused by change like a move. Even positive change can lead to adjustment disorder. Anxiety is very much a part of it. This article has some information: https://www.healthyplace.com/ptsd-and-stress-disorders/adjustment-disorder/adjustment-disorder-with-anxiety/ If you think it sounds like it might be a possibility, you can talk to your doctor or mental health professional like a therapist. You can deal with both adjustment and anxiety and be able to move into your new house with your boyfriend.
My biggest problem at the moment is the chatter/overthinking which has gotten better since the medication but i'm still having a problem switching off to relax. my head just keeps chatting, checking to see if i'm relaxed or "in the moment" it's especially bad when i try to relax and watch films or tv. i'm a big big film fan and its important for me to be able to get lost in a film and relax. i just get constant questioning and checking but also my head will also at times repeat words being spoken on the screen or start of thinking what i'd say to other people about the film or tv.
Everyone tells me it's classic anxiety and it will fade over time but i keep thinking "what if it's something else" "this will never go"
I just can't seem to get out of this cycle.
Thanks for any help
It sounds like this mental chatter is starting to really disrupt your life -- when it invades things that used to bring you peace and happiness, it definitely is natural to be frustrated and want to do something. Sometimes well-meaning people want to reassure others, like those that are telling you it's classic anxiety. If your instincts are telling you that it could be something different, follow those instincts. You seem very self-aware. That awareness is a strength you can use to move forward. You might want to start by consulting your doctor. Even though you're having success with citalopram, there's a chance that minor dosage adjustments need to be made. Also, working with a therapist might be very helpful, especially since the medication has been working but this issue is lingering. Your doctor, a therapist, or both can help you get yourself out of the cycle.
I get a lot of rehearsing conversations, some i'll probably never have
I don't really want to have any changes to my medication as the last 2 or 3 months are the best i've felt for a few years.
The chatter, rehearsing, etc. do sound like they could be anxiety. Anxiety and thoughts like this so often go hand-in-hand. The nature of the thoughts vary depending on the type of anxiety you are experiencing. Also, thoughts like this can be part of other things, too, such as OCD. I would never try to diagnose you! I do think that talking with your doctor or mental health professional would help you find answers -- and the right treatment.
I’m 14 years old and honestly worry about everything way too much. I’m in high school and whenever I have a test or assessment coming up i always way overthink it. Last time in a maths exam I knew I got 1 question wrong and literally cried for hours because I though that having 1 Mark taken off my test would lead me to having no job, no future etc. After I realised I was so silly and so annoyed at myself for getting so upset about it. And recently I’ve been feeling physically sick every time I come home because i am worried about a friend who doesn’t eat all that much but the truth is really he’s fine. I really need advice on this it’s stressing me out so much and I know this is the age that these kinds of things start to take over you. Please help me with any advice you have
Anyone who says that teens don't have stress like adults do either forgot what it was like to be in high school, isn't acknowledging the way the world has become, or both! Just from the little bit that you wrote, I think you are someone who is pretty driven and who is very caring and compassionate. Those are great qualities, strengths that you will use to get you far. These are also things that can make you more vulnerable to stress, anxiety, and other things that take a toll on mental health and wellbeing. Two things you might want to try (there are more than two things you can do, of course) will probably seem like they conflict at first.
One: Think about your sense of purpose and a vision for what you want your life to be like. BUT, and this is a biggie, don't feel that you are tying yourself to this. This is supposed to reduce stress rather than increase it. You are 14 and are beginning to explore what you want to do as an adult. The key word is explore. The purpose of this is to be grounding. With a small beginning of a vision and a plan, you can sort out what you need to go in that general direction. Maths is an important subject, and it's good to do well. But when you look at your general vision, you can see that missing one point won't destroy your chances at anything. Look at the requirements for the jobs you'd like. Even if a high grade is important, it's probably not necessary to score 100% on everything all the time. (It's not necessary because it's not possible!).
2: Let your vision just be there. You can make adjustments to it any time you want to, and you can go to it to remind yourself of what you realistically need to do, but other than that, it doesn't need to (and shouldn't) be the main focus of your daily life. Make it a habit to take slow deep breaths throughout the day because that helps calm the brain and body. Pay attention to what is going on right now, in the moment you're in. When you notice yourself feeling sick because you're worried about your friend, check in with him. See how he's doing. When you're in the moment, you can either respond to a problem that you notice (as opposed to a worry in your head), or you can dismiss a worry because you can see evidence that the worry isn't based on something real happening right now. This is known as mindfulness. If you're interested, check out www.mindfulnessforteens.com. This is a great resource for dealing with stress and anxiety.
The anxiety and worry you are experiencing won't last. You can do things to overcome them.
It sounds like you have been a wonderful friend. Listening, being available, reassuring, sharing your professional and personal knowledge are all the "right" things to do. (I typically try to avoid such value-laden words like "right" and "wrong," but in this case the things you've been doing are actions that have been shown to be supportive. Therefore, I'll use "right.")
Sometimes people are resistant to support. It may be that she doesn't realize that she's resisting, and it may be that her worries are so intense that they're all-consuming. Talking about them like this might be the only way she has to deal with them. That doesn't mean that you have to keep doing what you've been doing. That won't help either one of you.
It's okay to point out that you think that she needs professional help, either returning to her doctor about medication, seeing a therapist, or both. Sometimes being direct yet kind about it is the best thing. It can be effective to meet with her in person and give her a list of resources in the community (you can often find them in medical offices, community centers, libraries, and mental health resources offices like NAMI or DBSA). Share your concerns with her. Offering to accompany her to an appointment might be good, but only if it works for you and you think she would appreciate the offer. It's okay, too, to tell her that you will be there for her as a friend, but that you can't be her therapist. Situations like these aren't unusual. The "tough love" approach is sometimes the best thing to do. Even if your friend gets mad, odds are that she won't stay mad and will be glad that you led her to professional help. You're clearly a very good friend.
If I'm overthinking like my girlfriend is mad at me because I think I do something wrong even I didn't do anything.
I also feel going nuts if my girlfriend didn't text me wholeday.
I also think that I'm not good enough for her and all the negative is already in my mind.
I encounter this kind of issues when I was 14yrs old. I can't breath, heart racing, sweating if I'm doing a reporting, reciting. Is this a anxiety??? Went don't have that here in the Philippines
The physical symptoms you are having sound very much like an anxiety attack or panic attack. The difference between them is that anxiety attacks happen because of fear or excessive worry about something while panic attacks happen "out of the blue" and relate to the fear of having another panic attack.
Anxiety can get in the way of relationships. It can often be helpful to work with a therapist about the relationship anxiety you describe. If you don't have access to mental health professionals, there are services available online, such as betterhelp.com and talkspace.com. They can help you with your thoughts and feelings in your relationship.
You've experienced a lot of changes recently (plus have dealt with health issues)! Even positive changes can create anxiety and adjustment struggles. This article is about adjustment disorder and anxiety: https://www.healthyplace.com/ptsd-and-stress-disorders/adjustment-disorder/adjustment-disorder-with-anxiety/), and at the end there is a link to other helpful articles about adjustment disorder. The number one thing to know right now is that it's temporary. If you'd like, check out the information in the article. That might help you decide whether to seek professional help. Working with a therapist, even for a short time, can be very effective in helping you overcome anxiety, adjustment problems, and more.
I will be very short in details and it goes like this:
1) i am a very logical, rational and resonable person
2) everything i say, do or someone else says or do i ANALYZE
3) this analyze is very very stressfull and it blocks me from doing the important things in life.
4) When i analyze i mean: syntactic analyze, rational analyze, logic analyze and so on...
What are your suggestions about this?
Analyzing in this way can be exhausting, and when it blocks you from what's important, it can be a big problem. Have you ever visited with a medical professional or mental health professional about this? This doesn't mean that there is something wrong. It would be a way of investigating to get to the bottom of it. Different things can contribute to the type of analyzing you mention, and if you can pinpoint something, you can better target it so you can live your life free from this overthinking. You can also use your logic and rationality to your advantage. Some people find it useful to compartmentalize their thoughts (others need to work to stop doing this -- it all depends on the individual person). Create a "filing system" in your mind for different types of thoughts. When you are listening to someone and notice yourself analyzing, visualize yourself filing your thoughts away and locking the filing cabinet. If you want to go back to the thoughts later, you can, but if you don't want to, you can keep them locked. This is just a visualization exercise that can help you gain control over your analyzing thoughts. It can feel weird initially, and it takes some practice. Essentially what you're doing is training your brain to just tune in and ignore the tendency to analyze. You might prefer a different technique. Using your own logic could be very helpful.
I have been overthinking for 3 months and I have problems with my family, friends and boyfriend. I was moody and so many emotional, I have been crying for 3 months because sometimes I get emotional to no reason. It’s hard for me because when overthinking that how people treat me and make me hurt even more. I don’t know who am I. I still hurt for what people hating me. Because I fight with them and fight with for no reason because I was angry and hating myself too much. But I don’t understand why I have been emotional and overthinking for past 3 months because I never had like that before. I really need help to how get over with emotional and overthinking. I just want to go back to normal life.
What a long three months you must have had -- and are still experiencing. Of course you want to return to the way things were! And it's possible. It sounds like the root of the overthinking is emotions and relationships. Being able to describe this is great, because you can pinpoint the problems and start addressing them right away. With what you're describing, it's very helpful to work directly with a mental health professional. This link will take you to a list of articles with information about types of mental health treatment, where to find it, and more. Just scroll to the "Mental Illness Treatment" heading, and click on the one(s) that sound helpful to you. https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/mental-health-information-toc/
It sounds like you are a very caring, compassionate person. Those are wonderful strengths to have and can help you have strong, close relationships. You don't want to give that up! But like all strengths, these can get in your way, as you are seeing. You are already a step ahead because you recognize that this is happening and how it's interfering in your life and happiness. Now you can focus on shifting your thoughts. Having anxiety about the health of people you care about is actually common -- you're not alone. I actually wrote an article addressing this very thing. It might have ideas that will help you. Here is the link: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/11/anxiety-over-a-loved-ones-health-dos-and-donts/
I m addicted to over thinking when it comes to heath issues of anyone in my family.. I just reach to the maximum wid very little of anything.. last month my Lo was not well for 10 days.. I was going through very tensed situation where she had small viral infection.. now when after 15 days she got cold now mild fever again and my thoughts are skyrocketing as why she fell ill within 15 days.. my very tensed and feel lost in my bad thoughts..
This habit is killing me and my wonderful present not future..
Ma'am plz advise. How to cope up with this
I'm sorry to read about what you're going through. You mentioned wanting to be out and about but being too shy. I'm wondering about something based on what you've written, but I'm definitely not trying to diagnose you. That would be wrong of me and impossible to do with just this little bit of information. Some of what you said reminds me a lot of social anxiety and, beyond that, something called avoidant personality disorder. "Shyness" exists on a spectrum with mild shyness on one end and avoidant personality disorder on the other. Avoidant personality disorder is like social anxiety on steroids. This article will tell you a bit more about this, and if it seems to fit, you can look up some more information: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/03/social-anxiety-a-spectrum-from-shy-to-avoidant/ Intense social anxiety can be hard to overcome, but with patience and perseverance, things will get better. You can even have a job and a social life.
Is it cause by anxiety ?because I have many issues .
Anxiety can cause many physical symptoms. Whenever you have something physical like this, it's a good idea to see a doctor to rule out or treat a health condition.
A constantly racing mind -- that is a really good description. Social anxiety and insecurity can definitely be at the root of this type of overthinking. And as you're seeing, it can keep getting worse! The good news is that it can also get better. Have you looked into social anxiety? Perhaps starting by looking into information about this type of anxiety will be a great first step in reducing overthinking.
Some therapists do (and should) address overthinking. Others do not. I'm not sure what the VA policy is. If it's possible to try a different therapist? Also, 6-12 weeks apart is a long time between sessions. Have you tried any self-help books about anxiety to work on between sessions? That might be helpful.
Anxiety can be related to genetics, at least partially. It can also definitely be learned. Anxiety is no one's fault but is something complex that develops from many different experiences with our environment, within the brain, and a consequence of interactions with others, including parents. Your mom probably cares about you and wants you to be safe (physically, emotionally -- the whole deal). She might have some fears and anxieties of her own that give her reason to believe that the world is not okay, and by constantly asking and obsessing, it's her way of making sure you are okay. But having that kind of interaction and talk over and over again really could have an impact on how you interact. This is what you learned, and it's naturally how you see things and react. (This is oversimplified and there is a lot more to anxiety -- and to you as a person -- than this. This is an observation based on what you mentioned.)
You have already had a great first step. You've identified what you don't want. The next step is identifying what you do want and then create an action plan that involves small steps to work your way to who and how you want to be. It's common to think, "I know what I want. I don't want to be this way. I want to stop overthinking. That's what I want." But that isn't helpful. When you think about what you don't want, you are thinking of what you don't want. Your focus is on the negative. Just reframing and focusing on what you do want will start to make a difference. Build on that with action, and you will be working toward the change you want to, and can, create.
The insight you have about your anxiety, including the fact that you know that your thoughts don't match reality, means that you're already far into the process of overcoming this. Many times, people don't realize that just because they are thinking and feeling, it doesn't make it true. (That is a common trick that anxiety plays on people, so it's not bad when that happens. It's just a different starting point for overcoming anxiety). You're aware of your irrational thoughts (that's not a judgment; "irrational" is just the word that is used and it means that they aren't what's really happening). I have two links for you that might be helpful. One is about relationships, and the other is about an approach to mental health and wellbeing called acceptance and commitment therapy. These just might have information that will help you stop the anxious thoughts and let you be yourself. (ACT is largely about learning to be yourself.)
From my own personal experience plus what I've encountered professionally, this drive/need to be productive is extremely anxiety-provoking. It becomes a terrible cycle: We think/worry about not being productive. So we try harder to be productive, taking on more tasks to try to solve the problem. Of course, there is only so much time, and everything we do requires time, which means we don't get to everything. That makes us feel less productive. So we take on more. The cycle continues and anxiety worsens. It even causes physical symptoms and physical illness. It can also lead to other mental health challenges -- like the way you reacted to the social interaction. That is a very normal thing to do, and it often comes from being overwhelmed. The brain becomes overloaded and it becomes harder for it to handle things.
It's hard to break out of this cycle of anxiety and productivity. Believe me, I know! One thing that is often effective is to start at the source -- the need to be productive. Make a definition of productivity that is meaningful to you and of course realistic. Define what is reasonable to do in a day, then choose the most necessary things to fit into the time frame. Jot them down so you can cross them off when you do them. That reinforces that you are doing things. Also, before bed, list what you accomplished and why it matters. If/when you keep thinking about what you didn't accomplish, write that down, too, plus why it's okay that those things didn't get done. This is a good first step to reducing this "productivity anxiety."
One thing that very likely does contribute is something out of your control: the chaos around you. These conditions absolutely can cause or add to anxiety, depression, PTSD and other trauma-related disorders, and more. I happened to research this recently for a book, so I've read studies and personal accounts about the effects of living in wide-spread poverty, long-term effects of natural disasters, war, political strife, etc. This chaos does take a toll on mental health and wellbeing. Discovering personal meaning can counterbalance the negative effects. What is important to you? Who is important to you? What bothers you that you would like to see change? If you can take time to explore what is meaningful to you, you can then do things to live in a way that matches your meaning. This has the added bonus of reducing the need to be productive because living according to your values is naturally productive and satisfying.
Sometimes (many times) family can cause great anxiety for many different reasons. When family members, especially older ones in a special role, judge us negatively, it can cause anxiety and withdrawal. Sometimes, putting family opinions aside temporarily (you can still respect them in their role) and exploring who you are and how you want to be can reduce anxiety. You have a chance to know yourself without feeling wrong about your discoveries. One way to do this is to examine your unique strengths and find ways you want to use them. Check out www.viacharacter.org for a high-quality self-test and information. Also, because you have been dealing with this for so long and because it comes from family, it can be helpful to work with a therapist. If you don't have easy access to a therapist, you can try an online service such as betterhelp.com or talkspace.com. Truly, you don't have to be stuck with this severe anxiety forever.
Know that you aren't alone in this. So many people have a hard time around what you describe that there are indeed books to help. The other reason there are books is because it is possible to overcome this and thrive. If it were hopeless, there wouldn't be any books!
Something that stood out to me in what you wrote was the fact that you have a new job and have recently experienced traumas. While I would never dish out a diagnosis, I will say that these are elements of adjustment disorder or even adjustment-related stress if it's not a full-blown disorder. Even positive change can lead to adjustment stress/disorder. This is something that is temporary when you have help dealing with it. That help can be in book form. There aren't many books about adjustment disorder out there. One good (but short) one is Adjustment Disorder: When You Can't Cope with Change by J.B. Snow. Learn more here: http://amzn.to/2FkS7Pq. That title sounds a bit off-putting in my opinion. But if you can get past the harsh "When you can't cope with change" part, the information is good.
Another good title to look into is Thriving with Social Anxiety: Daily Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety and Building Self Confidence by Hattie Cooper.
Another one that is helpful with overthinking, self-confidence, adjustment, and more is Break Free: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 3 Steps: http://amzn.to/2FlaPqu. I should disclose that I am the author of this one. However, I make nothing from the sales and have nothing to gain at all by telling you about this book. I believe strongly in acceptance and commitment therapy so I'm just listing this with the other two.
I hope this list gives you a good start. You're on the right track already. You've taken two important steps: you decided you want to break your current patterns (that's a big decision that not everyone makes), and you're seeking information to do it. Keep at it!
I am looking for books or techniques that will help me break these patterns of negative thoughts and over come my over thinking. I think I'd be a happier and healthier person. Previous therapists haven't always been helpful, and I am not in a position in my life to be able to afford therapy. Any advice you give would be greatly appreciated.
my name is willy im 21. i have relationship problem with my girlfriend. She had been overthinking in our relationship and question the feeling of mine. She overthink stuff very easily . i feel that she didnt feels secure inside her even though im trying to give her security as much as i could. We been loving each other very much but we argue very often. She been keeping her overthink to herself and refuse to talk about it every time i ask about it. Im very tired and so she does but its our first love and we dont want to break up, we are so important to each other. Could you suggest me some way to overcome my problem?
Relationships are difficult! Add anxiety and insecurity to the mix, and "difficult" doesn't describe them adequately. It sounds like you have a healthy perspective, seeing both the positives and negatives. Know that the feelings you are experiencing are very normal. I have a resource to share with you that you might want to look into. It's a book called Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner (the Amazon link is http://amzn.to/2AGQU1v -- it's just so you can look. I'm not trying to sell! I have nothing to do with this book.) It's written more to the person with anxiety, but it is suitable for both people in the relationship. I haven't read this particular book, but I have read other books by one of the authors (Carolyn Daitch). I like her work. This might be something for you to read first to gain some insights and tips, and it's also a good one to read with your girlfriend and talk about with her. This book won't advise you to stay together or tell you to break up (at least it *shouldn't* give you advice like that). But it will help you communicate, give you strategies to try, and ultimately see if the relationship causes more stress than good times. Most of Daitch's books are available in libraries, so you might be able to check it out rather than purchasing it. You seem very caring and solution-focused. Those are very positive qualities. Know that if you decide to break up, those qualities will still remain. Sometimes staying together is best, and sometimes breaking up is best. By exploring this, you can be confident that whichever path you take, it's the right one for you both.
when i was about 14 i started to over think and talk to myself about situations....
but now i know i thinked in a wrong way..i want to recover
from it but its so stressfull how my inner voices are
stressing me....please help me i am in problem...
what can i do to controll my mind annd inner voices...?
Overthinking in this way is very stressful. One important place for you to start overcoming this is to know that you haven't thought in a wrong way. It can feel that way, but that's part of the way anxiety makes us think. It's easier said that done, but it's important not to judge yourself so negatively. A simple way to begin doing this (it won't completely solve the problem, but it's a great way to start): whenever you are thinking negative thoughts, overthinking something, etc. stop yourself and say "I'm having the thought that..." (So if you think "I shouldn't have said that," change it to (I'm having the thought that I shouldn't have said that.") It shifts your thinking and distances yourself, sending the subtle message that it's only a thought rather than a truth. This comes from acceptance and commitment therapy. This is an approach that helps people deal with challenges like overthinking. This article can give you more information: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/07/stop-avoiding-anxiety-acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/
I do have a question for you. You mentioned inner voices. This means different things to different people. For you, are inner voices the thoughts you are telling yourself, or are they statements that you can hear, things that are talking to you? If you are actually hearing voices talking to you, or if you aren't sure, visit the Hearing Voices Network: https://www.hearing-voices.org/. You'll find a lot of information to help you know if this is what you're experiencing and, if this is it, information about what to do and where to find help.
Whatever the cause of your thoughts/overthinking, help is available. You don't have to be bothered by this forever.
It's great that you encourage friends to open up! And you're not a hypocrite for having a hard time opening up yourself. Doing so is really difficult. It's also common for people of all ages to wonder if they're making too big a deal out of what they're experiencing. When you feel pressure to be the best, it can become even more difficult. I think it is very reasonable, and very important, to seek professional help. When your anxiety gets in the way of your life, seeking professional help can help get you back on track, so you are in control of the worries instead of worries being in control of you. You can also reign in that perfectionism and performance anxiety that just might be at the root of your other worries. :)
I've been diagnosed with panic disorder 5 months ago. I'm stuck in a rut and unhappy with my current career and personal life. I started getting very bad panic attacks every time I think about the future because I keep overthinking a scenario in which I realise my life is too dull and can't possibly bear with it another 40 years and want to end it all. I've been doing CBT for 4 months but my therapist isn't able to help me overthinking this scenario. It started to seem more and more real and it is the main fuel of my anxiety. Any tips?