We Can All Emotionally Heal

December 8, 2019 Guest Author

We can all emotionally heal. Most of us might not want to admit it, but we have an immense amount of power to heal emotionally. But we get stuck. We get stuck in unhealthy and destructive patterns from earlier in our life. Many times, we can barely remember how and when they even began. But with these steps, we can emotionally heal.

We Can Emotionally Heal

We can fix pretty much anything we like as long as we have a solid understanding of the issue and its roots.

Let’s say as a child, you remember your father constantly yelling about you or your sibling. For whatever reason, you just couldn’t do things up to his standards. As a result, the message you absorbed might have been something along the lines of, “I’m not good enough.”

With that message constantly running in the background, like software, you learned to hide and disguise your true self growing up. That was the only way to guarantee that nobody ended up disappointed.

But you also constantly undermined yourself. You never took any chances on yourself, so you wouldn’t disappoint anyone. Likely, when someone was angry at work, you assumed it was your fault. You probably felt similarly about issues at home. It all comes from that earlier pattern.

Learning the Cause Helps Us to Heal Emotionally

The step after learning the cause is to forgive yourself. You’ve built up years of guilt and shame that have been clouding your judgment daily. Forgiveness cuts through the fog and lets you see the picture clearly. You can then realize what actually happened versus your interpretation and reaction to those events.

Now you have a foundation from which to heal emotionally.

From that foundation, acknowledge that you did the best you could at the time. As children, none of us have the complete set of tools needed to deal with complex emotional problems or self-regulate. Considering that, you took the path that was the most obvious to you.

Emotionally Heal by Learning New Behavior

Now you need to replace that former behavior with a newer, healthier one.

But keep in mind, this is a long-term process. It’s not a "one-and-done" sort of deal. You’re going to constantly catch yourself defaulting to that old behavior. As soon as you do, that’s when it’s time to correct your course. Quickly shift to your new and improved behavior.

It’s also vital to be patient with yourself. Considering this behavior has been happening for a large portion of your life, there will be times where it just happens. When it does, do your best to forgive yourself and move forward.

Again, it’s a process so there’s no need to rush it.

Remember This When You’re Emotionally Healing

You’re not broken or defective. You were just doing the best you could with the tools you had. Now you deserve better, but you’re the only one who can achieve it. If you need support along the way, reach out. If you need guidance, ask for it. If you need clarity, open up to it.

The beautiful thing is you can enjoy the process and acknowledge your growth as it happens. Take time for small celebrations along the journey to make yourself feel special. Not only will this keep you motivated, but it’s downright good for you.
Now’s the time for you. Now is the time for your own growth, your own fulfillment and the incredible life waiting for you.

You can and you will heal emotionally.

If you just let yourself.

This post was written by:

Obsessed with everything that goes into living a healthy, beautiful life, Kyle De Luca is out to prove that it’s not nearly as hard as you think. Kyle works with others to unlock their superhuman sides. Visit Kyle at his website.

To be a guest author on the Your Mental Health Blog, go here.

APA Reference
Author, G. (2019, December 8). We Can All Emotionally Heal, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 24 from

Author: Guest Author

July, 17 2020 at 9:12 pm

I feel like i am very broken and i didnt do the best i cld hv done better made better chices along the way.

Lizanne Corbit
December, 9 2019 at 9:51 pm

Yahoo to this post! I love everything about it. The concept that we can all heal, that it is a journey and process and we can (and should) celebrate along the way, that we are not broken just "doing the best you could with the tools you had" -- so empowering and true. Understanding the cause, getting to the root, forgiving and then replacing. It takes time but this is something we can all do, with patience and gentleness. We have the power to heal!

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