Today I Don't Feel Good Enough: 4 Steps To Improved Self-Esteem
There are many reasons why people suffer from low self-esteem. From the past programming as children, to the unrealistic feeling that we need to have it all. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way or achieve certain things? Sometimes it's easy to fall into negative patterns of thinking. Like feeling discouraged about where we are in life, and wishing we were more than we are. Comparing yourself to others will only bring more frustration as we all have our unique talents and skills to focus on.
When you Compare Yourself to Others, You Don't Feel Good Enough
We all do it -- she looks better than me; he has more money than me; I should be in a relationship by now. It’s easy to fall into this trap, and this can be damaging to your mental health. We are all doing our best and we are so unfair to ourselves at times (Accepting Responsibility For Your Self-Esteem). It shows in the number of people who don’t feel good enough -- Good enough for whom? Everyone else or yourself?
What do I do when this sort of toxic thinking begins? What do I do when I don't feel good enough? I stop it in its tracks before the thoughts consume me. How? I follow these four steps to feel more in control and determined to succeed in achieving my own personal best.
- Feel the gratitude principle. Look around you -- there is always something to be grateful for. Even if it’s the fact that you have a supportive family, or you may be able to walk while many people can’t. These small things are certainly something to smile about. Even though others may have more than you, you may have a lot that they don't.
- Write down the things you really want. You need to remember that although somebody may be more successful than you, they’ve followed a different path to yours, and nobody walks down the same road. Search your heart and find out what makes you tick. There are obviously things you want that you don’t have, making you feel down about yourself. So ask yourself what do you want? Remember material things may be nice, but it’s usually a particular feeling we want, not a possession. What do you want to feel?
- Write down how you can make these things a reality. Healthy goal setting is something that a lot of people might dread. It can be overwhelming when you think of how far away you may be from achieving your goals. That’s when I find taking really tiny steps is extremely helpful. For example, if you are addicted to bad foods and need to get in better shape, give yourself a small goal each day. Something like, I won't eat junk food today, and tomorrow I can. Start with very tiny steps so you're less likely to get mad at yourself for not following through, and you feel good about yourself when you've achieved that small goal.
- Let it go and trust. Once you’ve set the intention to make changes and you’ve started taking action, it’s counterproductive to get impatient and desperate about it. Sometimes we get in the way by becoming overly attached to the things we want. Each day is new and exciting, and you never know what’s around the corner. So keep an open mind and stay positive that everything is working out without your interference.
Virag, K. (2015, September 10). Today I Don't Feel Good Enough: 4 Steps To Improved Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, July 3 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/mentalhealthforthedigitalgeneration/2015/09/today-i-dont-feel-good-enough
Author: Kristen Virag
Good article. Thanks.