Overcoming Depression after Surviving a Suicide Attempt

March 2, 2011 Holly Gray

On March 6, 2006, Paula Hardin said her good-byes and shot herself in the chest. Three days later, she woke up. It was the second time she'd attempted suicide, the second time she'd lived on in spite of herself. "I have been depressed most of my life, " says Paula, who is 46 years old and remembers dealing with depression from as early as the age of 6. But after surviving a suicide attempt for the second time, she sought treatment and finally found her path to overcoming depression.

"I have to say that I have been at peace with life."

Life after Surviving a Suicide Attempt

Paula says she had a near-death experience when she attempted suicide almost five years ago. She awoke to a devastated family, but also an outpouring of love that helped her to see how important she is to the people in her life. We asked her to join us on this week's edition of the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show to share her story of severe depression and how she finally found freedom, overcoming depression and living with hope.

I am a totally different person. I don't sit in the car all the time, or have panic attacks, crying a lot, worrying about everything. And I feel good about myself. I believe I was spared my life to help other people with depression. If I can help just one person, then I have made a difference in someone's life.

Find out what living with severe depression has been like for Paula, why she attempted suicide not once, but twice, and what overcoming depression means to her on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show live today.

Video on Surviving a Suicide Attempt, Overcoming Depression

Watch our video interview with Paula.

You can find all mental health video interviews from the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show in the table of contents.

Share Your Experiences with Depression and Suicide

Have you or a loved one attempted suicide? Do you live with depression or want to tell your story of overcoming depression? We invite you to call us at 1-888-883-8045 and share your experiences and insights. (Info on Sharing Your Mental Health Experiences here.) You can also leave comments below.

APA Reference
Gray, H. (2011, March 2). Overcoming Depression after Surviving a Suicide Attempt, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 14 from

Author: Holly Gray

March, 11 2011 at 4:46 am

Hello. I drank a cap of bleach and collapsed from the "fumes" of the bleach going down to my stomach through my throat and oesophagus. I wanted to drink the whole bottle but in my schizophrenic state, I felt like one of the spirits around me used my hand to pour it away. I was not sober in my mind then and had been hearing voices and having hallucinations. I survived the suicide attempt and lately because of financial stress as usual, I guess I had been in suicidal moods even more lately. I went to see a psychologist but she only wants to see me in a month's time. "What if I feel like jumping again? What if I can't hold myself back again?" "Just call the crisis line." Like that would help...
I am working on writing my 2nd book and it is finishing soon. Instead of running to the bleach bottle again or attempting to jump off any building whenever I feel suicidal, I resorted to more writing. I wrote about how sad I felt and how my heart was hurting and that seemed to help. I wrote morbid short stories and funny romances and that seemed to help too. Writing is so therapeutic to me and I don't understand why I can't get weekly sessions with any mental health professional. I also don't have the money to pay for costly counselling sessions but the mental hospital psychologist feels the earliest she can see me is in one month's time. Although I feel pissed off because I really feel suicidal lately and am making a big step in telling my mom and going to a psychologist myself, I don't feel like people are taking me seriously. Just because I am not wailing and screeching and crying inconsolably in front of everyone.
I lost most of my friends when they knew I had schizophrenia. I don't have much people to talk to so I feel really lonely.
I live in Singapore and I think in the Asian society, mental illness is more stigmatised than in Western countries.
I don't know how to follow up to see if anyone can help me and replies to me here so I hope someone can go to tell me how. (sorry if I'm not supposed to leave a url here)
Thanks for listening.
Oh Huishan from Singapore

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Holly Gray
March, 17 2011 at 7:59 am

Hi Oh Huishan,
Thank you for your comment. I can understand your frustration at having to wait so long to see the psychologist, and not having any opportunity for counseling. One of the most difficult things about living as an adult with a mental illness is that we must advocate for ourselves to get the help we need, but that's enormously difficult to do when we're ill. And then when we can't get help, we become more unwell still ... it's a vicious cycle.
I wonder if you've visited the HealthyPlace forums? You can connect with others, give and receive support. Here's the link:
I wish you well, Oh Huishan. Hang in there. :)

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