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ADHD Relationships

People with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) face many challenges at work, but there are ways to help them excel.* A nine-to-five office job is difficult for many people, especially those with ADHD. I personally like the structure and stability of that kind of position, but the idea of doing something in the same place for eight hours, often under someone else's supervision, is daunting. That said, the following advice applies to a variety of jobs, traditional or not.
Psychiatrist William Dodson developed a term specifically applicable to people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). Rejection sensitive dysphoria applies to people with ADHD because ADHDers tend to be particularly sensitive. While the existence of RSD is up for debate, the emotionality of ADHDers is not. Many with the disorder agree that they are extremely sensitive to rejection, criticism, and failure.
When we are in a relationship with another person, there are thing we excel at and there are things they excel at. Why not find out what you're best at and what they are, and then tag team the heck out of life?
I've got my computer tuned to one of those fun websites that let's you watch a ton of television and I'm watching season four of Top Chef. There is one person on this season that has got me wondering how we, those of us with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),  look to others. I have zero idea whether he has adult ADHD, but it sure does seem like it. What do I mean by that?
Adult attention-deficity/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can make boring tasks seem extra boring. We're all adults here (unless you're a kiddo - in that case, you can have boring, adult tasks to look forward to) and we all have chores that we typically do not receive any allowance money for. I never got an allowance when I was a kid and it seemed so unfair when my friends got a few dollars every week for just being their parents' kid. As adults, what do we get for completing boring, required, necessary, horrible, daily tasks? How about a gold medal?!
Yes, it's true. People with adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have friends. Well, maybe not all of us, because it's certainly a possibility that one person with adult ADHD doesn't have friends. So, let me re-start. Yes, it's true. Many of us with adult ADHD have friends and we can totally use them to our advantage. That statement definitely sounds like I mean for us to abuse our friends, but wait, dear reader, and see what I mean.
I am about to take a vacation. In t-minus 1 hour-ish, I will be leaving for the great state (I assume) of  North Carolina. Does having Adult ADHD impact how we have vacations? I think so - and I definitely think it impacts how we are able to get on the road. Planning, organizing and waiting are all things that can be tough.
Saturdays have long been the hardest day of the week for me. There is so much unscheduled free time and my Adult ADHD feeds off of it. I've gotten really adept at remember to make task lists and having that be what leads my day, but even that hasn't been allowing me to feel relaxed and easy going on a Saturday. My wife had a heck of an idea the other weekend that I found really worked: make more than one list for free time.
Before I start talking about how having Adult ADHD can affect being a roommate, I want to say I hope you all have a really great week this week. Mondays can be super hard - you've just gotten over the fact that yesterday was Sunday (maybe you had the ADHD Weekend Blues even) and now you have to start a whole week or school and/or work (my apologies to those of you I am leaving out of this by saying that - those of you who don't work the "typical" workweek). Anyway, have a great week ... now, roommate talk.
Do you hover over your spouse while they’re doing housework or completing other important tasks around the house? Do you take more than your share of responsibility for things in your ADHD relationship? Do you find it is just easier to get things done if you micro-manage your partner’s schedule or better yet, do it yourself? Have you tried nagging, pleading even anger to try and motivate your partner to get things done.   If so, you may be a helicopter partner!