Stop Being Too Hard on Yourself
Stop being too hard on yourself because being too hard on yourself goes hand-in-hand with a low self-esteem. Signs of being too hard on yourself include excessive self-blame, self-criticism, negative self-judgement, self-punishment, and dwelling on your mistakes or flaws. Additionally, you may overlook or discount your positives. It is detrimental to your wellbeing and it’s important to stop it. Stop being too hard on yourself and build your self-esteem.
How to Stop Being Too Hard on Yourself
To stop being too hard on yourself, it’s important to be reasonable and treat yourself with respect. Empower yourself to make your life better rather than wasting your energy beating yourself up.
- Have realistic expectations. Know that it’s okay to make mistakes because you’re human. Nobody’s perfect and life’s not perfect. You have to make mistakes to learn and grow, and life’s not always how you want it. Embrace your life’s journey and commit to learning and self-improvement. Focus your efforts on those things you can change.
- Look for the lessons in everything. When something does go wrong, acknowledge the mistake, look for the lessons and stop beating yourself up over it. Some criticism can be justified at times, however, it’s important to keep it constructive and in perspective. Ask yourself what you’ve learned and what you can do differently next time. Think of stumbles as growth opportunities.
- Challenge your negative inner critic. Your thoughts and words matter, and negative thoughts distort your reality. There’s nothing to be gained from criticising yourself over and over again. Stop dwelling on your mistakes. It's a waste of energy, it’s disempowering and it will keep you stuck. Challenge the negativity and focus your energy on moving forwards.
- Focus on the positives. There are always positives, however, you probably won’t see them when you’re too hard on yourself. You will have to make a conscious effort to see them. Ask yourself what you’ve done well, and the things that you like about yourself and your life. It might help to write them down, or use a journal.
- Put things in perspective. Is your life or mistake really as catastrophic as you think, and will it matter in, say, 10 years from now? It can help to talk to someone you trust.
- Use affirmations. For example “I am not perfect but I am learning and growing.” or “I did my best with what I knew at the time.”
- Treat yourself as a best friend. Be kind to yourself and love yourself as an imperfect person. Give yourself permission to try things out, to make mistakes and to learn and grow. Nurture yourself as a person and see your overall worth.
Being too hard on yourself keeps you from moving forwards, however, you can learn to stop it. It will take perseverance and effort but it's well worth it. If you’re having trouble, or feeling persistently stuck, don’t be afraid to get the help you need. Stop being too hard on yourself, build self-esteem and create the life you want.
Agathangelou, F. (2015, August 11). Stop Being Too Hard on Yourself, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/08/stop-being-too-hard-on-yourself
Author: Fay Agathangelou
I keep saying the weirdest things then get nervous and words fail or I say something more stupid. I've been told I'm trying too hard.
I don't believe I can start a new life away from the people that "love" me but smother me and that I kind of hate...I just want to stop existing. My body hurts, my soul hurts, I'm almost 38 and have accomplished nothing. Nothing at all. I'm "nice" but I'm so tired of that being the only thing I'm so unsure. I feel like time has been wasted and now it's all too late. I just want to sleep and never wake up. I couldnt do it to my family but it's my only desire. Ending. I'm so tired of struggling.
Take Good Care,
I have read your answers and makes my heart warm. It is so good when one sees engagement.
I came to this site as I have issues with the same topic. This is something that I have a history with and no matter how many beautiful articles I read, only I can actually "do" the 'letgo'. I think its an inner expectation that I need to cancel; the only obstacle is - there are parts of this characteristic that I dont WANT TO let go, as I see it lead me to success. But as Adam said, it would be better to take every day as it comes... its just so attractive to me to tick a large to-do list all the way to the bottom. Just in the meanwhile, I have now developped several stress-related conditions. But! I think I know what I need to do, I just need to find my balance and LEARN to prioritize. Sadly, I cannot be everybody's darling, even though I would love to be.
Thank you for writing the article! <3
Really need help. I really want to have change and be the best version of myself a year later in my new job.
Take Good Care,