Not giving up

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I can choose to focus on my bad tendencies of behavior or the fact that I am alone without a Psych. to get my medications from or a councilor to see and discuss my condition, OR I can struggle on. Right now my first concern has to be my physical health. Since I had my seven month relapse, I have put on quite a bit of weight and my blood pressure is up. So I am concentrating on a better diet (no soda or fast food) and a regular exercise habit, like walking for a while each day. This should keep my health from getting worse and it will keep my mind clearer. The next thing I need to do is get the support I need from the medical community where I live. Since one of the symptoms of my condition is a regular relapses which can last five to seven months at a time, I lose touch with my support groups and my Dr.s. This is where I am right now. I am checking out various community Health resources in my area in the hopes that I can re-establish some treatment for me. This blog is an effort on my part not to give up hope and to list the questions and thoughts that I have in the hope that I can get some feed back. I am a bi-polar personality with deep depression issues but I am also addicted to the feelings I get when I am in avoidance mode. It is sort of like being a drug or alcohol addict, on top of being bi-polar. There must be other people out there who can relate.