Sexual addiction is a wide-spread problem that is now better understood, and can be effectively treated.

• Some History And Data
• Some Characteristics of Sex Addiction
• How It Begins
• Different Forms of Sex Addiction
• Sex and Love Addiction
• Sex Addiction and The Internet
• What Happens Without Help
• If You Are Serious About Starting To Get Help
• If You Are a Spouse or Partner of a Sex Addict

Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognized as a major social problem with similarities more well-known to alcohol and drug addiction or compulsive gambling. We are becoming accustomed to hearing about sexual scandals in our communities, in the workplace, in churches and schools, even in the White House, involving those in which we place our trust. And sometimes we experience shocking sexual discoveries in our own families, involving people we know personally. Many of these situations are better understood if we have some knowledge about sexual addiction.

Some History and Data

As a condition, sexual addiction has been around apparently going back as far as we have recorded history. However, it has only been in the last two or three decades that a clearer understanding of it is being reached and inroads begun into effectively treating it.

Starting in the late 1970's a psychologist and researcher, Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., was instrumental in the initial identification and treatment of sexual addiction as a condition. He is also responsible for getting accurate information about it into the hands of professionals as well as the public through numerous national lectures and educational TV appearances, and recently by answering questions about it in an AOL chat room on the Internet. Among the books he has written on the subject are Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, and Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction, which are excellent sources for learning in more detail about sexual addiction.

Dr. Carnes describes how sexually addicted individuals have become addicted to the neurochemical changes that take place in the body during sexual behavior, much as a drug addict becomes hooked on the effects of smoking "crack" cocaine or "shooting" heroin. This is not to say that expression of ourselves as sexual beings, an intensely pleasurable, life-enhancing experience for the majority of the population, is an inherently addictive reality. As Carnes states, "Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress," comparable to the alcoholic's purposeful use of alcohol.

Based on a 10-year research study of 1500 sexual addicts, Carnes has estimated that about 8% of the total population of men in the US are sexually addicted, and about 3% of women. That translates into over 15 million women and men who suffer from this problem.

In the two decades since Dr. Carnes' first book, a lot is now known about sexual addiction. Many others are dispensing information through books, tapes, TV, etc., and slowly specialized help for those who suffer from this condition is growing. However, the general public, the media, and treatment professionals are often still uneducated or misinformed.

Some Characteristics of Sex Addiction

The sex is shameful. The addict feels shame about what he or she is doing, or more accurately, about what he or she has done, usually immediately after engaging in sex acts that violate some of the person's standards. Or the shame may be denied by calling it normal for "a real man," or by focusing on others: "She wanted it," or by engaging in it again right away so the shame is exchanged for pleasure. Thus a married man may feel remorse after having sex with his best friend's wife, rationalize that his friend wasn't sexually satisfying her, and avoid going to bed with his own wife afterward by staying up and masturbating while watching a movie on the sex channel.

The sex is secret. The sex addict more and more comes to live a double life--perhaps well-known, respected and admired in his visible life but secretly engaging regularly in sexual acts that would be shocking to those who know and love him. So a sexually addicted minister could be revered on Sunday morning for preaching on the sinfulness of adultery and fornication and then engage in those behaviors himself at a modeling studio or adult bookstore on Monday afternoon, having told the church staff or his family a lie about his whereabouts. Or a gay man might tell his relationship partner that he is going to visit a friend but goes to a park to cruise for anonymous sex instead.

The sexual behavior is abusive. It violates someone else's choice or exceeds their understanding. There is the man who manipulates or coerces his date into being sexual with him; the woman in a partially unbuttoned blouse who bends down toward an unsuspecting male coworker and "accidentally" exposes her whole breast; or the man who seeks out crowded shopping malls so he can meander among the throng to "cop a feel." Or adult men and women who manipulate the trust of children and abuse their power over them by tricking them into performing sexual acts with them. This is exemplified by the teacher who becomes sexual with a student, a scandal we've seen recently in the news, or the neighbor who hires a boy to mow the lawn and then invites the child inside and lures him into sex. The sex may also be abusive to the sex addict him or herself, such as masturbating to the point of physical injury or cutting or pinching oneself for sexual arousal.

How It Begins

The beginnings of sexual addiction are usually rooted in adolescence or childhood. For starters, the child often grows up in a chaotic, hostile or neglectful home. Or, the family may have been very normal otherwise, but the child grows up emotionally starved for love because affection is rarely expressed. The child may turn repeatedly to masturbation to escape the parents' violent arguments, for instance, or to make up for an unconscious lack of attention or affection. Masturbation can be a normal and natural part of childhood, but for the lonely, abused or rejected child can become a regular sedative, much like marijuana, to hide the inner pain. Later, someone's pornography collection discovered at home, or discarded porn magazines retrieved from a dumpster may be found to heighten the feelings of masturbating. And then a life-long pattern of masturbating to pornographic images is set into motion. Gradually sex becomes a replacement for other things, a convenient act to turn to in times of any kind of need, from escaping boredom to feeling anxious, to being able to go to sleep at night.

Or, the child may be introduced to sex in inappropriate ways. Instead of the normal sexual experimentation that often takes place out of curiosity between similar aged children at some point growing up, some children are introduced to sex by some adult who uses them instead of another adult for their sexual pleasure. Or the person introducing the child to sexual experiences may be another child who is five or more years older, an older cousin, babysitter, etc., where the sexual experience doesn't feel mutual. In these experiences there often is a combination of natural curiosity, newfound pleasurable feelings and the feelings of fear or shame. The fear and shame may be increased by threats made by the older person to gain the child's cooperation or to prevent the child from telling anyone about it).

A pattern may be established of seeking out similar experiences throughout the person's life where there is a combination of sexual pleasure and fear or shame. When the child grows up he may be turned on by sex in high risk situations that unconsciously generate fear or in secretive circumstances that feed on shame. He becomes addicted to seeking these highs. (It is interesting to note that the research of Dr. Patrick Carnes, the leading authority on sexual addiction, has led him to estimate that about 60% of adult sex addicts were sexually abused by someone during their childhood.)

Different Forms of Sex Addiction

Sexual addiction can take many different forms. The addict may be addicted primarily to one behavior, such as sex with a prostitute, but generally uses a variety of sexual behaviors. For example, consider the salesman who might watch the dancers at a topless bar over a business lunch, have sex with a prostitute from an escort service in his hotel room one night while on a business trip, return home and have sex with his wife while fantasizing about the sexual massage he got last month, and masturbate while viewing pornographic images on the Internet at one a.m. two days later. The list of the forms of sexual addiction would be exhaustive and increases with addicts' need to find new ways of finding sexual thrills.

Here are some of the more usual forms of sexual addiction. While at some time in their lives some people who are not sex addicts may engage in one or more of the behaviors listed below, it becomes sexual addiction when there is an irresistible need to repeat the behaviors and habits are developed around them.

• Compulsive masturbation--accompanied by mental images or thoughts about sex, or while viewing sexual images on the TV or computer screen or while looking at pornographic publications (or even while looking at non-sexual material, such as underwear or swimwear ads).
• Compulsive sex with prostitutes--this can be with female or male prostitutes or transvestites (transvestites are usually men dressed as sexy women) at their place of business or dispatched to your location or picked up on the street.
• Anonymous sex with multiple partners, "one night stands" picked up at bars, or sex with strangers in parks or restrooms, or sex in any number of anonymous situations, where sex is the object and no relationship is established with the person.
• Multiple affairs outside a committed relationship, or serial relationships (one after the other).
• Frequent patronizing of topless bars, modeling studios, sexually-oriented tanning salons, adult bookstores or sexual massage establishments.
• Habitual exhibitionism--exposing one's private body parts to unsuspecting onlookers, either directly (by removing or opening clothing) or indirectly through skimpy or revealing clothing. An example is the man who sits in his car with his fly unzipped and begins masturbating when someone appealing to him walks by.
• Habitual voyeurism--the so-called "peeping Tom," who finds sexual excitement in forbidden secret looks into other people's privacy. Examples are: looking into a neighbor's bathroom or bedroom window in hopes of seeing someone disrobed, peering up shorts or skirts on the sligh, or looking through "glory holes" in restroom walls (strategically located holes in walls separating urinal or toilet stalls).
• Inappropriate sexual touching--touching someone for sexual excitement in a manner that attempts to appear accidental, such as "accidentally" brushing up against another person's breast or genitals in a crowd. Repeated sexual abuse of children--an adult who engages children in sexual activity, or an older child who engages much younger children sexually.
• Episodes of rape--forcing another person to be sexual against his or her will, like the obvious assaultive rape by strangers one hears about in the media, or the more subtle form perpetrated by someone known to the victim (often called "date rape").

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Sex and Love Addiction

A distinction has been made between sex addiction and what is referred to as sex and love addiction. The latter has to do with an addictive pattern of establishing love relationships with specific people, where the person and the relationship, as well as sex with the person, are all part of the appeal to the addict. While these same elements are normal in a healthy love relationship, sex and love addicts can never find fulfillment and permanence in any of the love relationships they begin. They keep seeking satisfaction in another relationship but find it empty, demanding or anxiety-provoking instead.

Sex and love addicts may have several love relationships with different people going on at the same time or they may pass serially from one to the next, leaving each when the initial "love high" wears off. Or they may have a major love relationship, such as a marriage, complete with home, children and other signs of permanence, but keep returning periodically to one or more former relationships or create secret relationships with new people.

Sex addiction, by contrast, usually is a preoccupation with sexual arousal and sexual release which often has little to do with who the person is and requires no relationship. On the contrary, to the sex addict, what counts is the charge he or she gets from the image, whether it's a stranger spotted in a car or on a street corner, or stimulating body parts, an erotic picture, or the addict's own fantasy.

Then there are many who exhibit the characteristics of both a sex addict and a sex and love addict. Regardless of how it manifests, however, the addiction progresses in much the same way, always leaving a trail of problems and losses. And, by the same token, the solution to whatever form the addiction takes, the work to be done to change the behavior, is quite similar.

Sex Addiction and The Internet

The Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many sex addicts today. A lot of sex addicts have added computer sex to their repertoire, as it fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on interactive sites--in short, looking for what's new, what's better than last time. The Internet just happens to provide many of the things sex addicts seek, all in one place: isolation, secrecy, fantasy material, endless variety, around-the-clock availability, instant accessibility and a rapid means of returning, low or no cost. (The cost factor can change, however, if the sex addict keeps charging view-for-pay services on the internet, such as live interaction with performers who follow the customer's instructions for engaging in all kinds of prescribed sex acts that the customer can watch and masturbate to.)

Since one of the characteristics of sexual addiction is that it is progressive--that is, the habitual behaviors progressively become more frequent, varied and extreme, with more frequent and extreme consequences--sex addicts on the Internet often experience a rapid progression of their addiction. The new sexual thrills lead to spending huge amounts of time, moving more quickly into more extreme behaviors, taking greater risks, and getting caught more frequently. Thus, internet sex has been referred to as the "crack cocaine" of sex addiction. Actually, the sped-up progression of the sex addict's problem via the internet can turn into a blessing, since it can move the addict into the consequences more quickly that can cause him or her to get help.

What Happens Without Help

Another feature of sexual addiction is that it is progressive. It rarely gets better. Over time it gets more frequent, more extreme, or both. At times when the addiction seems under control, the addict is merely engaging in one of the common traits of the disease process in which he switches from sexual release to the control of it. The control phase inevitably breaks down over time, whether it be in an hour, a week, a month or a year or five years, and the addict is back in the behavior again despite his promise to himself or others never to do it again. When the ecstasy of the release is spent, the addict will often feel remorse at his failure and with great resolve will switch back to another "white knuckle" period of abstaining from the behavior until his resolve weakens again. Without help, this is the way the sexually addicted person lives his or her life.

If You Are Serious About Starting to Get Help

If you have related to the information presented in the foregoing and would like to know about professional help available, click here for treatment information. Or if you would like to check out yourself if you fit some of the specific criteria of sex addiction, click here for a sexual addiction self-test. If you would like to know about free 12-step programs for sex addicts that may be available near you, click here. You will probably find answers to your questions by reading these sections carefully.

If You Are a Spouse or Partner of a Sex Addict

If you are in relationship with someone you think is sexually addicted, your efforts to help may be actually adding to the problem rather than achieving the results you desire. Sex addicts usually wind up in relationships with partners who unconsciously fit right into the addictive patterns. For example, typically the sex addict keeps on returning again and again to the sexually addictive behaviors and the partner accepts what is going on, or overlooks clues that would suggest something is wrong, or threatens to leave but doesn't (or leaves and returns when the addict promises to change, only to learn later the addict did not stop), or takes responsibility for trying to control the addict's behavior. None of these strategies work and actually add to the problem. What the partner has to realize is that she or he needs help too in order to get out of her or his own addictive habits. The partner will need to learn how to stop enabling the sex addict and how to focus on her/himself, and how to take stands or draw boundaries that actually work. If you would like to learn more about the process partners experience and what to do about the situation, click here for partners of sex addicts. You will probably find answers to your questions by reading these sections carefully.

Sex Educator Tackles Tough Issues with Young Teens - Ministries - World's Message vs. The Little Voice

Michael Guiliano was not put into the world to make kids uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. Talking to young teens about sex is just about as cozy as talking to them about death, he disclosed.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of it?" eighth-graders at Our Lady of Mount Carmel school here have asked him often in the seven years he has taught a course on "Sexuality and Spirituality" to the class.

For Guiliano sexuality is not a small matter. "It's probably the biggest deal in your whole life," he tells the 14-year-olds. "You may get to understand God better through your sexuality than through your intellect, prayer, meditation or years of theological study."

Talking about sex to teens is so hard because of "the weight of garbage and emotions that are thrown in by society, the media, our culture," Guiliano told NCR during an interview at his home in Englewood, N.J. That's why there's a lot of squirming and giggling during the first of the nine 60- to 90-minute sessions of the class.

Sex is such a big deal that "God uses it as an analogy for his church," he tells pupils--an idea that lets them catch their collective, embarrassed breath. But there's no holding him back. "Your sexuality is sacred. It's a beautiful, wonderful gift. Anyone who looks on it as dirty doesn't understand that God himself created it for you."

Most of the eighth-graders have seen this guy before. He's a lector at Our Lady of Mount Carmel church, a eucharistic minister and an occasional usher. He and his wife, Mary Beth, have five children, four boys and a girl, who've all been altar servers and attended the parish school. Both he and Mary Beth have taught religious education on Sunday mornings.

Michael Guiliano is a physician, a specialist in neonatology and the associate director of pediatrics at Lennox Hills Hospital in New York City. "I can put on my doctor's hat and be frank and open with the class," he says. (He also holds a master's in elementary education from the Jesuit-run St. Peter's College in Jersey City, N.J.)

The class soon settles down when Guiliano hands out his "Food for Thought"--33 questions that plumb what students believe about God, the church and its authority, what they want for their future life on earth and in the next world, how much they know about sex and how far they've experimented with that knowledge.

He asks students to type or write their answers and to return their replies, anonymously, at the second meeting. The first 10 questions deal with Christian belief, the church, prayer and the Bible. The next 10 probe areas of behavior, good and evil, sin and forgiveness with an eye to choosing a life partner. The final 13 are all about sex.

"The whole introduction is so critical," Guiliano said, illustrating it by drawing a huge circle. At its top is God, on the bottom is evil and "dead center is where we all are."

He chooses a spiral staircase to help youngsters understand that as persons "we're all going up to God and out toward him through our relations with others, or else we're going down in the direction of evil and turning inward toward ourselves, away from God and service to others."

Eighth-graders learn about God's gift of free will, and their enormous power to make choices about matters that can take them up the staircase or bring them down. He also draws a clock for them, using the theological virtues of faith, hope and love; the gifts of wonder and joy; the acts of praying, experiencing and choosing as hours of the day.

When students choose evil over good and commit sin, Giuliano points out God's unconditional love for them and shows them how to climb back up the staircase toward forgiveness and repentance by utilizing the sacrament of reconciliation.

In the "Truth and Consequences" segment of a lecture, he helps teens see how misusing their sexuality can have unwanted results. By the fourth class, he is meeting alone with the boys and then with the girls, and the comfort level between him and the students is on the rise. The doctor brings along an anatomical cutout of the female body, showing the girls exact details of their internal organs and explaining their reproductive cycle. This also aids discussion of hormones, menstruation, intercourse and pregnancy.

The boys receive Fr. William J. Bausch's chapter on masturbation from his book Becoming a Man. Bausch, a retired priest of the Trenton, N.J., diocese, assures boys that masturbation "is not as bad as they say" and "it's not as good as they say."

Giuliano agrees with Bausch. Giuliano said, "The self is always a dangerous place." He tries to help boys understand how masturbation is "petty and immature," and how "God is always drawing us out and inviting us to love others and to express our love through service to others."

While virginity is the course's "unspoken theme," Giuliano covers the gamut of possible consequences of engaging in sex before choosing a lifetime partner. No student finishes the course without knowing about pregnancy, abortion, HIV/AIDS, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia and genital warts. They also learn that a quarter of all Americans are infected with some form of the herpes virus. The doctor also covers promiscuity, fornication, and homosexuality.

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Some argue that eighth-graders are too young for such topics. The doctor disagrees.

"These kids are bombarded with this stuff from outside. Either they get the information inaccurately, with all the biases and perspectives of our hedonistic culture, or they get it from loving parents at home and informed teachers in class," he said.

Eighth grade is a perfect time, he said, to delve deeply into issues about change, growth and choices up the road. Youngsters are experiencing and seeing changes in their bodies and their psyches just as they are deciding where they will go to high school, who they will date and what they will become. They are also preparing for confirmation, the sacrament by which they become adult Christians.

To facilitate discussion between teens and their parents, he sends home questions concerning dating, career plans and personal abilities. The list also includes inquiries about prayer, purity and what positive activities a pupil will do to maintain a healthy mind, body and spirit. He asks students to examine their relationship with family and friends and to reflect on what kind of family they would like to have and who will be their friends as they move into a larger world.

In his years of teaching, he's found that all his students intend to marry and have families. To date none has expressed interest in a religious vocation or the single life.

The take-home packet also contains the "True Love Waits" commitment to sexual abstinence before marriage. Although Guiliano said he has been "surprised how innocent" most of his suburban students are--based on their answers to his 33 questions--he is also aware that virginity until marriage "is an open question" for most of them. When he asks students at the first class whether they aspire to a life of virginity before marriage, about half of them give him that "Are you crazy?" look, he said.

In the first class, Guiliano entices them to think about their future spouse. What should this person be like, what special qualities will he or she bring to the relationship? To focus their attention, he brings a Tiffany & Co. blue gift bag to each class and sets it in the middle of the desk, telling them that he has purchased their "first wedding present."

For their final session, Guiliano gathers the class in church and reads to them Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians with its opening chapters about what Christians should believe and its final chapters about how they should live. "God wrote you a letter," Guiliano tells them, "because he knew you'd be in that spot one day."

Students bring their commitment to chastity to this session--a sign, he tells them, of their willingness to try to live purely until marriage. "Keep in mind that person you want for your spouse," he tells them. "Pray and pray often. Avoid persons who cut you down. Eliminate that which makes it more difficult to live a Christian life. Be humble, honest."

Live your faith, he exhorts them, in the Pauline spirit. "Get involved in your parish, school and community. Think about your choices. You are God's hands in the world."

Although his medical duties and long hours have not left him time to draft a text of the course, that's "next on my agenda," Giuliano said. At the final class he has students drop their names into the Tiffany bag. The one whose name is pulled walks away with a first wedding gift--a blue and white, hand-painted porcelain box.

"I wanted it to be a symbolic present. I wanted to plant some seeds. I hope they got started."

Michael Guiliano developed the course he teaches on "Sexuality and Spirituality" after examining his oldest son's eighth-grade religion book. The textbook was "pretty watered down in both biology and spirituality." he said. When he voiced his dissatisfaction to Mount Carmel's then-principal, Franciscan Sr. Michele Craig, she urged him to "help us find a better book or help us teach it better."

For many students the classroom is the first place they're getting information they will need in today's dating environment. Giuliano wishes it were otherwise. One of his hopes is that students will discuss these subjects with parents. Before he begins the course each February he invites the parents of his students to meet with him. About 70-80 percent show up to review the curriculum. "Parents are uncomfortable with these issues," he said, "and teachers are relieved that someone is doing it."

Since devising the sexuality and spirituality curriculum, he has taught it with his three eldest sons in the class. In three years, he may present the course again when his youngest will be an eighth-grader. His daughter, who said she would not like such matters discussed by her father in front of her friends, transferred to a middle school in New York City last year--though not solely for that reason.

Guiliano has only to look at his own life--his two decades as a doctor, husband and father--to see that "one's spiritual life is embedded in one's family life and one's community." He fondly recalled his 1973-77 undergraduate life at the State University of New York in Albany. Some students formed a "true Christian community, a refuge and place of mutual support." On Friday nights they gathered for Mass in Chapel House and met with Fr. Paul Smith.

As they were about to graduate, Smith told them that the community they found in Albany did not exist before they arrived. To have a Christian community, "you have to make it and live it," Smith had said. A quarter century later Guiliano has not forgotten Smith's advice.

"How to stand alone against a world that is giving you one message and a little voice that is telling you something else" may be the toughest task of adolescence and even adulthood, Guiliani said. The call to faithfulness requires a personal relationship with God built on prayer, he tells students.

"If your faith is ever going to be more than words and following Mom and Dad, you need to do some things on your own," he said. This includes making choices about drugs, friendships, dating and about praying and attending Mass- or not.

Guiliano admitted it was difficult teaching the course with his sons in it. The only feedback he's gotten came from a high school senior who called the course "the most sophisticated and truest presentation" on sex and spirituality that he'd heard.

Surprise! Food and mood are related and science has shown that the food you eat can affect your mood. (Get your own food and mood diary.)

In the health-conscious world of today, it’s pretty commonplace to hear there are foods for mental health and that organic, natural food is good and sugary food is bad. True, there are sub-strains of those conversations that talk about superfoods and how they’ll lead to a healthier life physically, but what’s often missing is the piece of the conversation that talks about how food can make a difference on mood.

What Is Mood?

Before we talk further about food and mood, let’s define what mood is. Mood is most simplistically defined as a feeling. It’s the emotions you feel at any given time and these are seen as temporary states of being. Mood can contribute to and can be affected by mental health when looking at mental health, not as a synonym for mental illness, but rather it’s the definition of mental wellbeing. That’s not to say it can’t be a part of mental illness though since there are mood disorders such as depression. So, when talking about mood it can be difficult to separate the two, especially with the desire to have longer-lasting good moods.

Food Affects Mood: It’s Science

Similar to how healthier foods can have positive effects on your body, they can also have positive effects on the mind (see Best Foods for Mental Health). How is that possible? Our bodies are simply better equipped to absorb natural, healthy foods. Those same healthy foods also contribute to and promote the development of brain chemicals that regulate our moods, such as serotonin and dopamine.

Serotonin and dopamine are neurotransmitters linked to mood and feelings. In particular, serotonin is known for mood management and dopamine goes hand-in-hand with pleasure. Therefore, it only makes sense that finding foods that promote those two brain chemicals would be a mood booster.

Food and Mood: Which Foods Help Mood?

With this food and mood connection in mind, the next question is what to eat? It’s easy enough to say “eat healthy,” but there are certain foods that can bring about better results. Here’s a snippet of the foods to add to your grocery cart and which ones to leave sitting on the shelf.

Foods such as salmon, lentils, and collard greens are just a few examples of foods that contribute to good moods. The nutrients, such as B vitamins, iron, and potassium, in these foods work with that natural body chemistry to bring about good mood stability. These kinds of foods can also contribute to overall brain functionality and energy, which both have a role to play with mood as well. Ever feel cranky because you have no energy?

The bad or unhealthy foods are probably the ones you would expect: sweets, chips, deep-fried foods. While there’s a certain pleasure in eating them at the moment, they don’t contribute to your overall mood because they don’t offer a lot of the good nutrients that healthier food does. In addition, whatever nutrients there are, they aren’t absorbed the same way as nutrients from healthy foods because of how they’re processed. Therefore, the human body doesn’t use them to their potential.

For a broader idea of what foods to look for, take a look at this list of 10 food mood boosters or check in with a nutritionist.

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Researchers have determined there’s a strong correlation between nutrition and mental health. The foods you eat can have an impact on your mental health, so it’s important to take a look at what foods you’re eating, how they make a difference, and why (a food and mood diary can help with that).

How Does Nutrition Affect Mental Health?

Having proper nutrition to take care of your mental health isn’t a curative, but studies have shown, and dieticians agree, that what you eat does indeed make a difference and that there are good foods for mental health. Therefore, you may want to include a diet change in your mental health and wellbeing toolbox. Having a healthier diet and avoiding junk food, high sugar foods, and high fat foods is a great place to start, but delving deeper, it becomes apparent that there are certain types of food that have a greater impact.

Foods that are rich in vitamins and proteins make the most difference because these are thought to play a role in the brain’s production of serotonin, dopamine, and other brain chemicals that contribute to and control moods. Therefore, when the body has a deficiency in certain vitamins and proteins, it may be the cause of low moods and even contribute to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. (Want some food mood boosters? Read this)

While the simple solution might seem to be taking a lot of supplements, greater results will be seen when eating the foods themselves because of the way our bodies absorb the nutrients. The concentration of the nutrients coming from an organic source (better) versus a supplement may also be different and therefore have a different range of effectiveness.

What Types of Foods Should I Eat?

One of the keys to nutrition and mental health is eating a variety of healthy options that are, again, rich in vitamins and proteins. Particular vitamins to watch out for are B vitamins, such as B12, which has been linked to helping decrease irritability and depression. Nutritionists and dieticians also recommend non-processed organic fruits, vegetables, and meats because these will have the highest concentration of the needed nutrients.

Books on Nutrition and Mental Health

For further reading on the relationship between nutrition and mental health, here are three books to consider.

• Food and Mood: Second Edition: The Complete Guide To Eating Well and Feeling Your Best by Elizabeth Somer, M.A., R.D.: This book examines how the foods you eat affect your mood for better or for worse and why, while also offering tips on the best food combinations to elevate your mood, fight fatigue, and boost brain power.
• The Food and Mood Handbook: Find Relief at Last from Depression, Anxiety, PMS, Cravings and Mood Swings by Amanda Geary: Supported by MIND mental health charity, this book acts as a guide to eating better and improving your mood. It also includes recipes and self-help tips from those who participated in the creation of the book.
• Optimum Nutrition for the Mind by Patrick Holford: Like the other books, this one examines how food affects the mind and moods. Using scientific evidence, the author outlines how anyone of any age can make a difference in their mental health through nutrition.

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The best foods for mental health not only improve your mood, but they may also reduce mental health symptoms in such illnesses as depression, anxiety, ADHD and others.

When you consider the best foods for your mental health, keep in mind that having a positive effect on mental health isn’t as simple as eating something you like or satisfying a craving and feeling good about it. True, those things can feel good in the moment, but in the broader picture, the kinds of foods you eat can have an effect on your mental health, for better or for worse. So the question stands: what foods are good for mental health?

Good Food for Mental Health and Wellness

There are a few things to consider when seeking out the best foods for mental health: a variety of organic, nutrient-rich, unprocessed, low sugar and low-fat foods are said to produce the best results. This goes for the kinds of drinks we consume as well. While the sugary stuff may feel like it’s having a positive effect at the moment, that famed sugar high quickly fades and doesn’t leave that long-lasting positive mental state that people seek.

Eating foods that have the nutrients needed to balance a human body and mind will not only contribute to you putting a big checkmark in the physically healthy section of your chart but also one in the mentally healthy section as well. Since food has an effect on mood and mood has an effect on mental health, paying attention to what kinds of foods affect your mood can help with the overall improvement of mental health.

The best foods for mental health wellness have a number of common vitamins, amino acids, proteins, and other parts to their makeup. For instance,

• foods that have B vitamins are thought to combat depressive states and irritability. Foods that are high in B vitamins include liver, fresh orange juice, milk, cheese, poultry, and red meat.
• iron can potentially help by contributing to the production of brain chemicals that regulate mood (emotional behaviors). Iron-rich foods include meat, nuts and seeds, dried fruits (prunes, raisins, apricots), and iron-fortified bread and breakfast cereals.
• Probiotics, such as miso, yogurt, sauerkraut, and kimchi can help with the body’s absorption of various nutrients needed for a healthy lifestyle.

A few examples of other good foods for mental health are salmon, eggs, and collard greens. Each of these has a lot of nutritional value that can also contribute to bettering your mental health overall (more on nutrition and mental health).

Your Mental Health May Suffer Without Good Foods

Deficiencies in these areas can contribute not just to poor moods but also mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. Getting the right variety and amounts of these kinds of foods will allow the body to get the nutrients it needs in order to be properly balanced, including stabilizing mood and brain functionality.

Thinking that you’ll just take a supplement instead might seem like the easy route, but some of these are only found in foods or best brought into the body by food. So while supplements can be a great addition, they shouldn’t be the only source you’re using to get the vitamins and nutrients your body needs.

Consulting your doctor or a nutritionist can help you figure out what you might need to be eating more of. Using a food and mood diary is also a beneficial tool in learning how your body reacts to different foods and how they affect your mental health overall. Doing this can help you develop a plan to get on track to achieving better mental health and wellbeing.

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The best diet plan for depression and anxiety has multiple elements. Don’t let “multiple elements” scare you away. In fact, the main point of a diet plan to increase mental health and wellbeing is that it be simple. A good plan is so straightforward that it doesn’t feel like a diet plan at all but instead feels like a natural, and pleasant, part of your daily life.

Think of a diet plan to reduce depression and/or anxiety as a part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle. Nutrition is vital for mental health, but a fancy or fad diet isn’t necessary. Often, special diets don’t last, causing people to revert to unhealthy eating habits. Sometimes they can be harmful, throwing the body and brain off balance. Not only that, there is no single, special diet that has been proven to treat depression.

An effective, user-friendly, healthy diet plan for depression and anxiety involves these simple elements:

• What you eat
• How you eat
• When you eat

Diet Plan for Depression and Anxiety: What You Eat Matters

The brain needs nutrients to function well. In both depression and anxiety, the balance of certain neurotransmitters—serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), noradrenaline, and dopamine—is off. Too much or too little of these chemicals disrupts mental health. Researchers are discovering that diet and nutrition are key factors in the production of neurotransmitters.

Neurochemicals are made in both the brain and gut directly from the foods we eat. The quality of our brain chemistry is connected to the quality of our diet. The simplest nutritional guideline included in a diet plan for depression and anxiety is to eat more healthy foods and fewer junk foods.

The brain depends on certain foods to get the nutrients it needs to stave off depression and anxiety. In general, a diet plan includes:

• Protein
• Complex carbohydrates
• Omega-3 fatty acids
• B vitamins
• Minerals

The examples above are just a few of the foods that combat depression in each category. Think balance. Choose foods to eat from each group every day, and you’ll fuel your brain to overcome depression and anxiety.

Avoiding junk foods is equally important. The more processed your food is, the less wholesome nutrients there are to help your brain. Replacing processed meats, refined sugars, fast food, and anything with saturated or trans fats with choices in the above category is a simple, healthy, and effective way to avoid the worst foods for depression and create a good diet plan for depression and anxiety.

How You Eat

While the types of nutrients you give your brain is the biggest component of your positive diet plan, other things you do matter to your wellbeing, too. One such thing is how you eat.

Eating on the run seems to have become common practice. A similar habit is eating at your desk while simultaneously working. Standing at the kitchen counter quickly eating is yet another eating style. These habits exacerbate stress and anxiety.

Another behavior that has evolved over decades is eating in front of the television or while using smart devices. When we do this, we eat mindlessly. This style of eating detaches us from those around us; after all, it’s difficult to connect deeply as a family when everyone is staring at the TV. This can undermine our sense of connection to our loved ones, a factor in depression.

A good diet plan for depression and anxiety involves intentional, mindful eating. Stop what you’re doing to eat. It won’t take long, and you just might find that you’re more efficient and you enjoy things more. It’s a natural way to reduce depression and anxiety.

Eating mindfully involves paying attention to your moment. Notice the healthy food you’re eating. Appreciate the taste. Draw your thoughts away from anxiety and depression and into the moment of eating.

When You Eat Should Be Part of Your Diet Plan for Depression and Anxiety

When you eat is an important part of a good diet plan for depression and anxiety. Follow your appetite.

It is common to turn to comfort foods when facing depression, anxiety, or both. This is fine if you’re making nutritious choices and doing it when you’re hungry. Many times, though, when we’re depressed, anxious, bored, or otherwise not feeling in our best mental shape, we seek out food despite not being hungry.

It’s bad for mental health, too, to skip meals. The brain requires a steady supply of nutrients and a stable blood sugar level to keep moods stable.  Many nutritionists recommend eating five or six small meals rather than three large ones to avoid blood sugar spikes and drops as well as dips in the nutrient supply.

The best diet plan for depression and anxiety isn’t complicated, nor is it a potentially-dangerous fad diet promising miracle cures. The most effective diet involves balanced, wise nutritional choices to fuel your brain to do its work. Paying attention to how and when you eat are important components of an effective plan, too. Intentionally eat your way to relief from depression and anxiety.

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If you’ve wondered if the ketogenic diet will help your depression, you’re in good company. Nutritionists and mental health professionals have wondered the very same thing. When it comes to the ketogenic (keto) diet and depression, some believe it to be a helpful diet for depression. Others believe that the ketogenic diet does nothing at best and is a diet that could cause depression at worst.

With the differing, and sometimes strong, opinions out there about the keto diet and depression, it can be hard to know if it’s something worth trying. There’s information out there, but it’s not always reliable or trustworthy. Much comes from social media groups and forums, places where anyone can make a claim for or against a keto diet. More authoritative sources, too, such as Women’s Health, aren’t always reliable when it comes to the keto diet; a 2017 article was based on someone’s commentary on Reddit.

We’ve looked at the current reliable information and research on the ketogenic diet and depression and presented it here.  Use this as a resource to inform yourself about keto.

Ketogenic Diet and Depression: The Basics

In a keto diet, the food you eat—and do not eat—forces the body to produce small fuel molecules called ketones. Ketones are the body’s alternate fuel supply when glucose (blood sugar) supply is low. When it’s producing ketones, the body is said to be in ketosis.

The purpose of a ketogenic diet is to encourage the body to burn more fat. Proponents of this diet believe that fat, not carbohydrates, should be the brain and body’s main fuel supply. Therefore, a ketogenic diet:

• Is extremely low in carbohydrates (less than 20g/day)
• Allows only moderate amounts of protein
• Is high in fat

The brain needs power to function. A standard diet provides fuel in the form of glucose from carbohydrates while the keto diet provides ketones from fat for energy. Among other things, this fuel powers the production of neurotransmitters, important neurochemicals at work in our mental health. Deficiencies in neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), contribute to depression. It’s been observed that the body produces more GABA when on a keto diet. In doing so, it could help depression.

Ketogenic diets for the brain aren’t new. They’ve been used to treat epilepsy (as a last resort, when all other treatment fails) for nearly 100 years. It’s believed that a keto diet can help headaches and improve psychiatric symptoms as well. It’s theorized that ketones are cleaner and more efficient than glucose and are therefore better for the brain. The theory is still just a theory right now. Studies are being conducted to determine how effective the keto diet is for depression.

Studies Regarding the Keto Diet and Depression

Studies have shown that a ketogenic diet may help depression. In two different studies (Bostock, Kirby, & Taylor, 2017; Ede, 2017), a keto diet showed a reduction in depression-like behaviors in the subjects. The subjects, however, were rats and mice. These lab animals can yield insight, but they don’t generalize directly to humans, so conclusions aren’t supposed to be made based on how rodents respond to what’s being studied.

Other studies have been flawed (Ede, 2017). There’s not much human data, sample sizes have been small (the bigger the sample, or people studied, the more reliable the study), many studies are done with no control groups (a truly scientific study must have a control group to compare and measure changes in the test group). Also, some study conclusions haven’t been verified, so they are nothing more than claims.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that keto diets do not work at all for depression. It just means that there haven’t been reliable studies producing trustworthy information for or against ketogenic diets for depression.

“Currently, there is insufficient evidence for the use of KD [keto diets] in mental disorders, and it is not a recommended treatment option” (Bostock, Kirby, & Taylor, 2017).

If, after investigating ketogenic diets, you decide you are interested in trying this approach, begin by consulting with your doctor to ensure that you don’t do something that would be harmful to your health. It is known that, in general, diet can help depression, or diet can worsen depression. The important thing is to approach any diet safely and try to avoid the worst foods for depression.

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Researchers are deepening their understanding of the role played by diet in depression, and their discoveries are profound. A Mayo Clinic article reports that many studies have shown a relationship between a poor-quality diet and depression.

The link between diet and depression is strong, but it’s not straightforward. Professionals continue to study the issue to determine if a poor diet or specific foods cause depression. Currently, it appears that there is a back-and-forth interplay between the two, a chicken-and-egg effect. It’s becoming accepted as an undeniable fact: Poor nutrient levels can contribute to depression. But what about the other way around? Is it also that depression causes people to eat poorly?

It seems that both sides are at work. Nutritional deficiencies from a poor diet can contribute to depression. People then turn to junk-style comfort foods, are too tired to prepare good meals, or simply don’t have an appetite (all can be effects of the symptoms of depression). Whatever the reason, diet and nutrition tend to suffer when someone has depression. Nutrient deficiencies and the consumption of harmful foods increase depression, and the cycle continues.

Diet and depression are related. Three important factors in brain health are:

1. eating healthy foods that help your depression
2. avoiding unhealthy ones
3. and the body properly digesting the food you eat

Role of Diet in Depression: Neurochemicals, Depression, and Nutrition

The role of diet in depression became clear when researchers examined neurochemicals. Neurochemicals (also called neurotransmitters or hormones) in the brain work in specific ways to keeps us mentally healthy. Important neurotransmitters in depression are serotonin, dopamine, noradrenaline, and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Levels of these chemicals in the brain must be within a certain range. Levels that are too low, cause problems with mental health, including depression.

Neurotransmitters are made by the body from the foods we eat. It’s essential that we eat properly. Without the nutrients needed to make enough serotonin and other neurotransmitters, we can develop depression. That’s the link between diet and depression.

A healthy diet for depression is one that supplies the brain with what it needs to do its job well. The brain needs

• Protein
• Complex carbohydrates
• Omega-3 fatty acids
• Vitamins
• Minerals

Diets lacking in these nutrients can contribute to depression. Ensuring that you’re eating foods rich in these nutrients can help. Also important is avoiding a poor diet.

Eating Unhealthy: Poor Diets and Depression

“The research on diet and depression indicates that for many, depression and anxiety may simply come down to a lousy diet.” (Anderson, Cryan, & Dinan, 2017).

Dubbed the “standard American diet,” a diet high in processed foods, sugar, and saturated- and trans fats, sodas, energy drinks, sugary coffee drinks, and the like is now understood to be a diet causing depression. A diet and depression study in 2012 (Enos, 2012) found that

• People who consumed junk food were a whopping 51% more likely to have signs and symptoms of depression than people who did not
• The more junk food people ate, the higher the likelihood was that they would have depression

Sugar, processed foods, and unhealthy fats simply don’t supply the nutrients the brain needs to keep itself healthy. They’re hard on the rest of the body, too. Perhaps surprisingly, this is also bad for depression. Another thing researchers are beginning to understand is that our brain and our gut are intricately connected.

Diet and Depression and the Brain-Gut Axis

From the diet and depression research, we know the brain needs nutrients from the food we eat in order to function healthy and stave off depression. Something in this relationship that is becoming clear in studies is that the nutritious food must be properly digested. Our mental health is connected to how well our gut functions.

Gut-related information that is emerging that plays a part in our mental and physical health includes:

• Depression has been found to have a microbial component (related to the bacteria that resides in the lining of digestive organs)
• The gut is connected to our emotions (think of physical symptoms of depression, anxiety, or stress; how we feel when nervous or attracted to someone; phrases like “gut reaction” and “butterflies in the stomach”
• 95% of the fibers in the vagus nerve (a major nerve pathway that has to do with feelings, functioning of the autonomous nervous system, and digestion) go from the gut to the brain rather than the other way around

This intimate connection is called the brain-gut axis. It’s increasingly recognized that the gut plays a role in depression; therefore, both systems should be treated together to heal depression. A big part of that treatment is a healthy diet.

A poor diet can be a contributing factor in major depression. Food matters and plays a part in the development of depression and someone’s overall experience with depression. It’s also important to continue to eat well once you’ve overcome your depression symptoms.

When it comes to diet and depression, what you eat has an impact on your mental health. Think of both your gut and your brain and the quality of life you’ll have when you replace junk with nutritious, healthy foods. No longer will your diet cause depression.

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There are specific foods that fight depression. If you’re looking for a list of the best foods for fighting depression, we’ve got it.

How Foods Help Fight Depression

The link between diet and depression is strong. Depression and nutrition go together like peanut butter and honey on whole grain bread. Nutrition is so vital for the brain that diet has become a key component of a plan to manage and overcome depression. There are a lot of foods that fight depression by either preventing it in the first place or improving and managing the symptoms of depression once it sets in.

The problem is that there are obstacles to healthy eating when you have depression. Depression makes decision-making and concentrating difficult, which interferes in meal planning and preparation. It’s easy to fall into a rut of eating the same thing, which limits the range of nutrients you give your brain and body. When living with depression, people often skip meals or reach for processed, packaged foods (foods that cause depression or contribute to it) because it seems like the easiest option.

To help you recover the mental health that you want, we’ve made this list of foods for fighting depression. It is broken down by nutrients that have been scientifically proven to help the brain recover from depression, and specific foods are listed in each category.

Best Foods for Fighting Depression

Nutrients That Nourish the Brain, Counter Depression

The brain needs many different nutrients to function properly. In order to avoid or overcome depression, it needs these specific nutrients:

• Complex carbohydrates
• Protein
• Good fats (Omega-3 fatty acid)
• Vitamins
• Minerals

Foods That Fight Depression: Complex Carbohydrates

Complex carbohydrates (as opposed to the simple carbs such as refined flour and sugar) provide fuel and energy. Carbs boost mood, too. Examples of good carbohydrates for depression are

• Whole grains
• Fruits
• Vegetables
• Legumes

Avoid refined foods like white flour, simple sugars, and foods like breads and pastas made from such ingredients. Processed carbohydrates lack nutrients, plus they are burned too quickly by the body so that we have an energy spike followed by a crash. The brain operates by the principle “slow and steady wins the race.” Try using natural and healthy foods for depression and you should notice a difference in your mood.

Foods for Fighting Depression: Protein

Protein is essential for a depression-free brain. Proteins (amino acids) are what create neurotransmitters like serotonin; too little serotonin in the brain is linked to depression. To boost serotonin as well as energy levels, consume healthy proteins daily. Good sources of protein include:

• Beans
• Peas
• Lean meats
• fish
• Low-fat cheese
• Milk
• Yogurt
• Soy products

Foods That Fight Depression: Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Good fats are among the best foods for depression because the brain needs them to function properly. Getting enough good fats goes a long way in managing depression symptoms, too.

Getting the right kind of fat in your diet is important. Saturated fats and trans fats are unhealthy types of fat. Fats considered “good” are Omega-3 Fatty Acids. You can find omega-3s in foods such as

• Fish (especially fatty fish like salmon, herring, anchovies, and sardines, for example)
• Nuts
• Avocado
• Olive oil

Foods For Fighting Depression: Vitamins

All vitamins are important for healthy brain and body functioning, of course, but certain vitamins, in particular, are good for depression. The B vitamins, antioxidants, and vitamin D are known to help the brain and fight depression.  The following foods are great sources of these depression-helping nutrients.

B vitamins:

• Eggs
• Fish
• Lean meat
• Nuts
• Legumes
• Whole grains
• Dairy products
• Broccoli
• Carrots
• Peas
• Spinach
• Dark green, leafy vegetables
• Asparagus
• Squash
• beans
• Potatoes
• Avocados
• Dates
• Peaches
• Blackberries
• Strawberries
• Oranges
• Pineapples

Antioxidants—beta-carotene:

• Carrots
• Broccoli
• Collard greens
• Spinach
• Pumpkin
• Sweet potato
• Apricots
• Cantaloupe

Antioxidants—vitamin C:

• Broccoli
• Peppers
• Potatoes
• Tomato
• Grapefruit
• Strawberries
• Blueberries

Antioxidants—vitamin E:

• Wheat germ
• Nuts
• Seeds
• Vegetable oils
• Margarine

Vitamin D:

• Fish
• Tofu
• Milk

Foods for Fighting Depression: Minerals

Minerals are elements needed by the brain and body. Deficiencies in the minerals magnesium, calcium, selenium, and sodium can lead to depression. These minerals are important in the functioning of serotonin and help increase energy and improve mood. Food sources are varied.

Magnesium:

• Whole grains
• Dairy
• Fish and other seafood
• Lean meats
• Nuts (especially almonds)
• Seeds (especially pumpkin)
• Legumes
• Lima beans
• Avocados
• Spinach
• Bananas
• Wheat germ

Calcium

• Dairy
• Seafood
• Broccoli
• Green beans
• Spinach

Selenium

• Whole grains
• Nuts
• Beans
• Seafood
• Lean meats

Sodium

• Found in nearly every food
• Little need to add salt to foods

These foods are all readily available. Having a selection of brain-healthy foods from the foods for fighting depression lists and eating them throughout the day, every day, can help you fight depression and feel good physically and mentally.

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“Parenting a RAD child, even one who is [now] attached and relatively adjusted and productive, is a slippery slope because you can never assume your child feels grounded and safe,” states Tina Traster in her 2014 memoir, Rescuing Julia Twice: A Mother’s Tale of Russian Adoption and Overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Reactive attachment disorder is caused by the trauma of severe neglect in infancy or very early childhood. Because of the neglect, the infant or young child learns that adults can’t be counted on for security, safety, and other needs. Because of the neglect, he/she doesn’t form an attachment to anyone; no one is there to bond with. Without attachment, a child can’t trust anyone or anything, so he/she withdraws from people. The lack of trust, safety, and bonding is long-lasting; therefore, parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder can be challenging.

Challenges of Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

In reactive attachment disorder, infants, children, and teens can’t bond with others. The child with RAD is withdrawn from the world because he/she can’t trust people, even people who are currently trying to love them.

Love is, in fact, one of the biggest challenges and frustrations in parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder. Frequently, the parent wants to love the child with RAD, to love away the pain. The more the parent tries to shower the child with affection, though, the further the child withdraws (Reactive Attachment Disorder Symptoms). It is frustrating and can be depressing- and anxiety-provoking for parents to have their love continually rejected.

In parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder, it can at times be easy to take the withdrawal and what seems like rejection personally, especially when you’re working hard in many areas to help the child feel connected: at home, at school, with friends, in other settings.

The frustrations, anxiety, and depressive episodes that can happen when parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder are normal. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that the difficulties and challenges aren’t at all personal. They’re protective on the part of the child because he/she never developed a working model for

• Attachment
• Trust
• Security
• Reciprocal love and affection.

The challenges of parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder are numerous, but they don’t have to stop everyone in their tracks. There are helpful actions you can take for successful RAD parenting.

Things That Help In Reactive Attachment Disorder Parenting

First and foremost, remember that safety and trust are instrumental in parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder. Parenting a child with RAD involves showing love by providing safety and a sense of trust.

Other helpful reactive attachment disorder parenting tips include such things as:

• Remembering that all behavior has a purpose; look past the behavior itself to try to determine the underlying cause
• Establish a consistent, reliable routine to build a sense of safety and trust
• Gently but firmly enforce limits, also for safety and trust
• Play games, engage in activities to build social and relationship skills
• Provide choices whenever possible to foster a sense of self-efficacy
• Use encouragement rather than criticism
• Keep interactions and discipline positive
• Consider therapy: for the child, for the family, and for the parents as individuals

RAD parenting, like almost everything in life, is a process. Reactive attachment disorder treatment is absolutely possible, and RAD parenting can be successful and rewarding. Taking someone in who learned as an infant or very young child that the world is unsafe, uncaring, and untrustworthy and then helping him/her learn otherwise isn’t easy. Yet parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder can help him/her lead a successful life full of not just trust, but love.

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