How to Talk About Being Gay

It’s hard to know how to talk about being gay, especially when young, but these tips and considerations can help you decide how to talk about being gay.

When thinking about how to talk about being gay, consider these tips:

  1. Start speaking about the subject in a very casual and general way.
  2. Speak about the pressing issues. If you want to see if a person is homophobic, ask about their stance on gay marriage or gays in the military.
  3. Let people know where you stand. If a derogatory term is used as part of an offensive joke, speak up and let it be known that those kinds of things make you uncomfortable.
  4. Other friends can help. If someone at school or a friend is gay, bring up his or her name to see how another person will react.
  5. Go for it! You may choose to drop the big question, "Are you gay?" or mention that you have been thinking about the same sex.
  6. Breathe. Make sure you are ready for this conversation because it can be extremely stressful.

When talking about being gay:

  1. If your friend is visibly uncomfortable, change the subject immediately.
  2. Do not approach anyone about their sexuality unless it is a close friend or relative.
  3. Choose an appropriate environment. Make sure there are no other distractions or other people listening.
  4. Start out with the least amount of commitment first. Instead of plunging right into the fact that you are gay, maybe mention that you have felt an attraction to the same sex recently. This may be easier for some people to understand and, in turn, make them more open to discussion.

article references



APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2014, September 15). How to Talk About Being Gay, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, October 18 from

Last Updated: May 20, 2019

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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