Feeling Helpless When You're Suffering from Depression
Feeling helpless during the worst of my depression made me doubt myself. It seemed like everyone around me was doing just fine on their own and I was constantly asking for help or not following through with things that I needed to do. That’s when I started questioning myself. Am I really depressed or am I just being lazy and trying to get out of something? Am I just afraid to take responsibility? Am I just fooling myself? But did you know that feeling helpless is a depression symptom?
No, I’m not lazy. I’m not trying to get out of something. I’m not fooling myself. That’s the depression talking. And unfortunately, it talks very loudly.
It tells me that my life plans are pointless because I’m just going to mess them up in the end. It berates me for needing help from others. “Why can’t you just do that yourself? Oh yeah, because you can’t do anything right. You’re a mess and you always will be.”
Depression will always tell lies.
The negative thoughts caused by depression overwhelmed me and eventually made me believe that what they were saying was true.
The Truth About Feeling Helpless with Depression
The truth is that depression created my feelings of helplessness. Depression took away my drive. It took away my passion for life and my desire to live it to the fullest. Depression made me feel helpless. That’s the actual reality.
When I would ask for help, it wasn’t because I was trying to avoid responsibility. It’s because I was suffering. Everything within me hurt when I even thought about trying to do things myself.
Depression fuels itself with the negative thoughts. I have depression and, therefore, I struggle with feeling down. However, the negative thoughts make me blame myself for feeling helpless rather than blaming the depression. The illness makes me feel guilty for having the illness. It’s a never-ending cycle.
I can tell myself that it’s not my fault. I’m not making excuses. I’m not just trying to avoid life responsibilities. But that’s what it feels like. When the depression is at its worst, it tells me that I am pathetic.
Feeling Helpless with Depression Is Not Your Fault
If you have experienced these feelings of helplessness during a depression, I'm here to tell you that you are not making up this feeling. You're not the cause of your depression. This lack of motivation and passion that you have isn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. This is the first step to changing your mindset.
Attempting that is probably one of the hardest things that you'll have to do on your journey to depression recovery. I'll be honest with you; even though I'm doing so much better now, I still struggle with this feeling of helplessness. It's become second nature and is something that I battle daily.
I'm working towards accepting depression and the feeling of helplessness it brings. I'll continue to try to follow through with things on my own, but I’ll tell the depression that just because I can’t always finish doesn’t mean I'm incapable or lazy. I'm still recovering, and that is okay.
Capper, J. (2018, April 3). Feeling Helpless When You're Suffering from Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, October 1 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/mentalhealthforthedigitalgeneration/2018/04/feeling-helpless-when-youre-suffering-from-depression
Author: Jenny Capper
Keeping my identity safe. First thing I wanted to say is, I love life and cherish it, I definitely see beauty all around me, in my animals and my family. I am definitely fortunate to have a supportive family. I was given plenty of opportunity and encouragement to succeed. Its going to sound crazy but I think it started going down hill when I was in elementary school. The first bully I ran into said something so blunt that it cut deep "Why are you even here? No one likes you. You should just leave". Then I came across a second bully who shocked me, my math teacher who saw my answers to a test and said "What are you, stupid?" in front of the entire class. Ever since that time, in elementary school, I think I immediately grew up. My childhood kind of died right there and I stopped caring about anything. I just indulged in any distraction I could find, games, tending to the horses in our barn etc. I still have these memories with me and I constantly attack myself with them all the time. I never cared for school any more, decided to abuse the system and take adderal just to get straight A's and drift through high school without a care, even college up to my 2 year degree. I have no drive to succeed or make something with my life, I never cared to have a girlfriend even though plenty tried. So I am now here, a single 29 year old who has been lonely ever since elementary school who love life but is terrified of people and the damage they can cause, has no belief system for support and just wants to be with animals over people...
I am a complete and utter failure. I have failed in every area of my life. Our marriage, our children, my career, our finances, my life as a whole is a compilation of failure after failure coupled with failure on top of failure. My will to live has been destroyed. I hate myself more than I have ever hated another human. Waking up every day and looking at myself and putting up with myself disgusts me beyond belief. The pain doesn’t end. The misery doesn’t end. The abyss is dark and deep with seemingly no escape. Please end this horror.
I want to say something but just can’t get words down
I feel really hopeless. Don’t want to be alive . I m the cause of problems. If I m not alive all the problems will go away with me . Can’t make anyone happy . No one understand me or I m not valuable fro anyone. There is no difference my presence.
You are not alone. If you go you will only leave your problems behind to become some else’s problems. Your presence matters to many. Please find someone to talk to. It will help.
I feel the same way ,you are not alone
talk to me. sometimes I feel hopeless but recovers every time. Be courageous. I believe you are innocent and that is your asset.
I feel sad off and on because I think I’m actually stupid and don’t do anything right and feel like my husbands family hates me thinking I’m worthless and feel like I’m worthless to myself sometimes I try hard not to feel these feelings but it’s in my head can’t get it out
Releived I am not alone but so sorry for others who suffer with depression. It sucks.
My heart goes out to those who do feel like they are alone. I think communities like this are so important so that people know there is support for them.
Mixed episodes have been happening lately. Depression is excrutiating lately and can't seem to climb out of it!
help, im scared.
the mixed episodes are ruining my life. i hold my head screaming at the painful thoughts. help