Feeling Helpless When You're Suffering from Depression
Feeling helpless during the worst of my depression made me doubt myself. It seemed like everyone around me was doing just fine on their own and I was constantly asking for help or not following through with things that I needed to do. That’s when I started questioning myself. Am I really depressed or am I just being lazy and trying to get out of something? Am I just afraid to take responsibility? Am I just fooling myself? But did you know that feeling helpless is a depression symptom?
No, I’m not lazy. I’m not trying to get out of something. I’m not fooling myself. That’s the depression talking. And unfortunately, it talks very loudly.
It tells me that my life plans are pointless because I’m just going to mess them up in the end. It berates me for needing help from others. “Why can’t you just do that yourself? Oh yeah, because you can’t do anything right. You’re a mess and you always will be.”
Depression will always tell lies.
The negative thoughts caused by depression overwhelmed me and eventually made me believe that what they were saying was true.
The Truth About Feeling Helpless with Depression
The truth is that depression created my feelings of helplessness. Depression took away my drive. It took away my passion for life and my desire to live it to the fullest. Depression made me feel helpless. That’s the actual reality.
When I would ask for help, it wasn’t because I was trying to avoid responsibility. It’s because I was suffering. Everything within me hurt when I even thought about trying to do things myself.
Depression fuels itself with the negative thoughts. I have depression and, therefore, I struggle with feeling down. However, the negative thoughts make me blame myself for feeling helpless rather than blaming the depression. The illness makes me feel guilty for having the illness. It’s a never-ending cycle.
I can tell myself that it’s not my fault. I’m not making excuses. I’m not just trying to avoid life responsibilities. But that’s what it feels like. When the depression is at its worst, it tells me that I am pathetic.
Feeling Helpless with Depression Is Not Your Fault
If you have experienced these feelings of helplessness during a depression, I'm here to tell you that you are not making up this feeling. You're not the cause of your depression. This lack of motivation and passion that you have isn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. This is the first step to changing your mindset.
Attempting that is probably one of the hardest things that you'll have to do on your journey to depression recovery. I'll be honest with you; even though I'm doing so much better now, I still struggle with this feeling of helplessness. It's become second nature and is something that I battle daily.
I'm working towards accepting depression and the feeling of helplessness it brings. I'll continue to try to follow through with things on my own, but I’ll tell the depression that just because I can’t always finish doesn’t mean I'm incapable or lazy. I'm still recovering, and that is okay.
Capper, J. (2018, April 3). Feeling Helpless When You're Suffering from Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, August 17 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/mentalhealthforthedigitalgeneration/2018/04/feeling-helpless-when-youre-suffering-from-depression
Author: Jenny Capper
help, im scared.
the mixed episodes are ruining my life. i hold my head screaming at the painful thoughts. help