Dating Challenges for a Recovering Alcoholic

September 3, 2011 Dani Zee

If you have mental health problems and you are dating, it can be difficult to be sure when you should tell the person you are dating about your mental health issues. It is a sensitive subject and you generally want to make sure you are with someone you care about and trust before you bring it up. What should you do though when you are in recovery from alcoholism and you are forced to face the issue on a first date?

Actually, for me, this issue comes up even before the first date. Many times, when I get asked out, it is to “go out for drinks”. Should I tell the person that I don’t drink because I am an alcoholic?

The fact that I am an alcoholic is a part of me but it doesn’t define me. Saying “Hi. My name is Dani and I’m an alcoholic” might be a good way to introduce myself in a 12-step meeting but can you imagine how people would react if I introduced myself that way on a date?!

If you have any feedback for how to handle the situation please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

APA Reference
Zee, D. (2011, September 3). Dating Challenges for a Recovering Alcoholic, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 24 from

Author: Dani Zee

September, 15 2011 at 12:37 pm

Hi. I'm a recovering alcoholic also and my recovery comes first. Therefore if a man wants to be with me, he has to abstain from drinking alcohol around me. Places to meet men who don't consume large amounts of alcohol are church, AA and recovery groups, gyms and fitness places and many men don't drink alcohol and will want to be with a like-minded woman if you look in all the right places. You are too precious and beautiful to chance a relapse for a man who doesn't respect you're recovery.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dani Zee
September, 15 2011 at 7:43 pm

Thank you so much for the comment and the suggestions. I'm glad to hear that you have made your recovery the number one priority. That's the only way to go.

September, 5 2011 at 5:33 am

I would say that I don't drink. I drank heavily for over 10 about 10 yrs ago. When I tell someone that I don't drink, usually that is the end of that conversation.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dani Zee
September, 5 2011 at 10:39 pm

I'm glad that it works out for you. Thank you Miguel for checking out my blog and for the support!

Angela McClanahan
September, 5 2011 at 5:43 am

"Dating" is really just a fancy word for "getting to know you." I would think you could just tell someone "I don't drink, how about we have lunch/dinner/coffee instead?" and leave it at that. Everyone has their skeletons. You shouldn't feel obligated to "warn" someone before you even know they're worth your time. And if they're not willing to get to know you without being in a bar--are they really worth the bother?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dani Zee
September, 5 2011 at 10:21 pm

That is true thank you!

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