Circle of Dysfunction

I cannot keep going on like this, I binge on drugs, piss off people, and disappoint my family. I havent had a job in over a year and recently I went on a valium, vicodin, xanax, and diet pill binger! I was with a good friend who was in a major bi-polar uproar and she was acting all wierd, searching her husbands computer, car, and even accused him of child molestation. I was with her for 3 days, we did ass loads of pills in that time frame, by the time I left we were both so out of it we could no longer understand one another. She wound up accussing me of stealing her pills, and called the police. I didnt know how to respond so I told the police the truth, she gave me several and sells them on the side to make money. Im not a nark but she put me in a position where I had to tell the truth. I dunno how out of it she was befor I arrived but all I know is I put myself in situations that cause this kind of trouble. I want a normal life, I miss a normal life. I tried to get help at a free clinic for about a year. A new doctor every month and a new cocktail of drugs. I felt crazier than ever. I was in a new state for close to 8 months, thought Ide get a fresh start. Nothing happened, I could not find a job, I could barley leave the house. Im scared all the time and I cant go on like this any more. I wanna crawl in a hole.