Quotes On Abuse From Domestic Abuse Survivors
Quotes on abuse from domestic violence survivors about the abuse and leaving their abusers show us their courage and insight. But perhaps more importantly, quotes on abuse give a glimpse of the future to survivors who have not left their abusive partners. I hope you catch a realistic version of your future without your abuser within these quotes on abuse (Insightful Quotes on Abuse Issues). It isn't easy, but that new start is worth the pain of leaving.
Quotes on Abuse from Those Who Left
Fear of leaving the abuser, or of being on their own, is the biggest glitch in many survivors' plans. Fear, both real and false fears implanted by the abuser, creates a mighty barrier to leaving the abusive relationship. A Facebook friend described it as facing an "insurmountable mountain", but I don't think there are any of those kinds of mountains since leaving my abuser (Top 3 Things I Know That An Abuse Victim Does Not). You can do anything if you take one step at a time.
How Did You Feel Right Before You Left?
Guilt, relief, and pity. I told myself there was nothing else I could do for him, because he would either kill me or I’d kill myself before I even graduated high school. ~Alexandra
I was heart broken, scared, I had a lot of anxiety, I was worried, I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes, and took a blind leap. I knew I had to get out of there. ~ Casey
Shame, fear, and sadness. I drank too much. ~Jim
I felt sad, happy & relived all at once. ... I was happy I could get away from the relationship & realize I didn’t need him to live MY LIFE. I was relived because I finally let go of him & everything we had. ~Kate
The days before I left him, I loved him, feared him and hated him. Three emotions I experienced the most were fear, guilt and confusion. ~Lori
I was filled with hatred. I knew it was only a matter of time before something terrible would happen. I felt strong and ready to have my life back. [I was] depressed, so I smoked heavily. For the hatred, I concentrated on the bright future ahead and thoughts of my son. I felt brave, too, knowing it was now or never. ~Moyo
What Was The Best Thing You Did Before You Left?
I started objectively watch him while he ranted and insulted. I stopped trying to defend and explain myself and just watched and listened. It really helped to keep me focused on the fact that the problem was his… not mine. ~Stacia
I told him I wished him the best and I hoped he had a wonderful life. And then I thanked him for showing me what I didn’t want out of future relationships. I needed him to know that he didn’t break me. ~Alexandria
I wrote down why I was leaving in a private journal. I did that so that if I doubted myself I would have concrete evidence – from myself – that I was making the right decision. I didn’t need to reference it then, but I’m glad I have that now so that, years later, I have a record of where I was then, and where I am now. ~Amber
I left the rings he gave me in one of the dresser drawers. I wanted as few romantic gestures clouding my decision to leave for good this time. (I left two other times before but returned.) I didn’t engage him when he raged. I remained silent and calm. ~Paula
What Planning Did You Do Before You Left?
I planned where I would stay, and made back up plans just in case things started to get dangerous. ~Casey
I made sure my friends and family knew what was going on, so if anything happened people were aware what was going on. I talked to my mom and made sure I had a great support system. ~Kelli
I told my sister, my mother, and my estranged husband (the father of my son) of my plans. I put together all of my legal papers and IDs and stuffed them in the trunk of my car. I put a spare set of keys behind the back wheel of my car. I packed a small bag of clothes and toiletries. I asked my estranged husband to take our son early. ~Paula
I worked with counselors from a professional agency in my area. They helped me to develop a safety plan. I spoke to my parents, and two of my friends. ~PeacockLady
How Do You Feel Now That You've Left Your Abuser?
I left him 2 years ago and I was starting to feel a bit better about myself until recently. My daughter moved away to get away from her dad to try and start her life over. She moved back and stayed with me for a while and she finally got her own place right behind me so she was close to me. I just found out that her dad moved in with her. He lives right behind me now. All of my fears have come back again, so once again fear is taking over my life. ~Robin
It’s been almost 4 weeks now, I’m grieving still, but not as much. I notice I don’t have night terrors anymore and I feel a bit free, but guilty, very guilty. ~KareMarie
I felt a huge relief after I left. It was tough the first few weeks, but as time went on I felt so much better about myself and my health improved as well. I am so thankful I have a great family who helped me get up and get out. It’s been almost 4 months and I have a great job and so many more goals that I am on my way to accomplish that I never thought I could do. Being called ignorant, bitch, stupid, and cunt had taken its toll on me. I am still taking things one day at a time. It has been quite a process. ~Jennifer
I left in 1981. I live a happy and rich life, I have my own home and work in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault. I look forward to each day. ~PeacockLady
More Quotes of Wisdom from Domestic Abuse Survivors:
Never believe you are in control [because it is] a form of denial. He can and will go ‘that far’. It isn’t the end of your life. Yes, you got beat, yes you he raped you, ruined a part of your life and you may lose everything, jobs, friends, belongings. That crap means nothing. Absolutely nothing. You have an awesome life waiting for you. Go get it! ~Angela Lee
Find a support system, they are the best resource you can have to leave. ~Kelli
There is a beautiful happy life out there. If you’re being abused it’s so easy to get caught up. Especially if they add an element of truth to the insults. You get completely confused and doubt yourself. I spent almost three years of my life spinning sadly around this man. Never being good enough. Now I am looking forward to a future with a mutual love and respect in it. ~Stacia
I realize now I am a survivor. I am a stronger woman for opening my eyes and stepping away from someone who didn’t respect themselves and would never respect me. ~Lori
Holly, K. (2013, March 18). Quotes On Abuse From Domestic Abuse Survivors, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, August 23 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/03/quotes-on-abuse-from-survivors
Author: Kellie Jo Holly
she then said the divorse comes soon: see this was in 2015--
to this day she dosnt answer any lettrs from lawyer,in other words, we are still married: another thing Marisar stole my entire attic,and sold all the things----she is the abuser here, not i--i had the police to drive her to central hospital in the city we live in--not a marke.--all sat up-why--well where did marisar go on he birthday
she met a guy,on net,took the ain to copenhagen,and went o bed with a man she met on net, next day she came back, marisar has a paintsniffer problem,and belongs to a funnyfarm, if her life was such a hell why not leave me in peace-----i have another,and today she blocks me,by not answering the autoritetes- i have told her ill see you in court,im prepared to marrie again, but i cant,marisar blocks it.
YES, YES, YES you ARE in an abusive relationship! Please continue empowering yourself by reading any blog by Ms. Kelly Jo Holly, to include "VerbalAbuseJournals"!
I myself, am in my THIRD abusive relationship- first marriage was verbal, 2nd was a four month physical, emotional, mental, verbal & psychologically abusive "dating" relationship; Now I'm in my 3rd marriage, and it has just began to escalate to physical violence with headbutting. Has been verbal & manipulative THE WHOLE TIME- but I was unaware until I found VerbalAbuseJournals.
For the last year, things have been out of control. I realize, now, that no matter how badly I want a good marriage with my current husband, IT WILL NEVER, EVER BE!
I am currently taking steps to downsize my household things and organize paperwork as well as repair my vehicle to LEAVE!! I have started over every other time, I ended those other relationships. This one has been the hardest.
As of today, I feel I still have to "share" the household for approximately another 2 months... I am keeping the timeline fluid for multiple reasons, ie physical safety, money, pets. Point is, I am trying to regain my own sanity/self confidence by making a plan and taking steps, even baby steps, each day to achieve my goal of getting out.
Kelly Jo Holly's blogs are my LIFESAVER/SANITY REMINDER right now!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sharing this INVALUABLE INFORMATION AND SUPPORT!
God Bless Us All in our journey to Self!
That said, I understand the confusion you feel. To those of us reading your comment, there is no doubt that you are abused. Trust us on this one. You are correct in your understanding of abuse. You are being abused.
There are so many things I would love to sit down and talk with you about. First and foremost, you sound like a phenominally strong mother who puts her children above even herself. Second of all, I have no idea what it is like to have 4 children, as I only have 1 - so I feel like you are in a predicament I cannot help. However, I hear the clarity in your words that you do (as I did) recognize that this behavior is completely wrong. You do not deserve this. I recently left a man who was abusive and still struggle with whether or not I should have gone to therapy to save the marriage. The issue is, you can work your ass off. If your partner does not meet you half way, then you'll just drown there waiting - or you'll swim their part too and die of exhaustion. I wish I could help you get away. My family helped me. You're life is being drained out of you. It is clear in your words, even online. I hope you find a window out.
After an hour of screaming and fighting, he changed his line to: "I care about you and I'm trying to prepare you for the real world."
We have 4 kids, and I've noticed him becoming harsher on his judgements of them. I don't like it, and I want to leave, but he has promised to kill me in front of the kids if I ever leave.
I have been secretly smoking because of the stress. I don't want my kids to know. The other night, after a 14 hour shift at work, I was too tired for sex, so he told my 5 year old daughter that I smoke, to get back at me.
I am miserable and I hope that when I get a better job, I can leave him. I'm just so afraid that he'll kill me or kidnap the kids. He has threatened to plant drugs in my car. He has a very good job that make people in the community trust him and like him.
I feel like I used to have so much potential. Now, I have trouble learning new things and I'm always saying sorry to coworkers and strangers for every little thing.
I hope and pray my children don't ever have a relationship like this. It is draining the life from me.
I was married for 18 years with only one income. Today, I have a home and all the bills associated with that home and keep it running on one income. It is possible - but you may not have the luxuries you enjoy now. When you think of staying to keep luxuries, well, it doesn't make as much sense. (To me, a luxury is paying full price for a movie, so I may not be the best one to judge a "luxury"!)
You have more support than you think and you're able to make it alone better than you give yourself credit for...Do you have a safety plan? Here's one: http://verbalabusejournals.com/pdf/safety-plan-stay-or-go.pdf