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Elevator Broken - Use The Steps (In The Right Order)

September 10, 2013 Alistair McHarg

In the damp church basements of recovery it is often observed that the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous are in the order they’re in for a good reason and one should work them sequentially. This tenet is underscored because, as a rule, alcoholics are belligerent, defiant, and rebellious in an infantile, pointless sort of way.

Celebrating The Right To Be Wrong

Dipsomaniacs simply must do as they please, no matter how much more difficult, time-consuming, and aggravating their idiosyncratic path may be. Whenever “some assembly” is required, rest assured that the very first thing they did after unpacking the contents was throw away the instructions because – well, why on earth would you rely on the opinion of experts when you have your own complete ignorance, honed to perfection over years of not listening to anyone, nearby?

Ready, Fire, Aim!

A while back I worked at a company that employed many engineers. One of them had a sign on his desk that read – Ready, Fire, Aim! Of course, engineers – who live to plan – found this hilarious, but on refection it is amazing to realize how much behavior it describes, especially in an impulsive, indulgent, ADD world.

Never Enough Time To Do It Right; Always Enough Time To Do It Over

On a recent sojourn to the Maine coast, Mrs. Funny In The Head turned my attention to a green box mounted on a pole. We walked over to examine it. It was a doggie poo bag dispenser, installed by the local citizenry to help keep their beach pristine. The box had writing and symbolic images. The writing offered a detailed description of its purpose and, importantly, instructions for bag use.

When All Else Fails; Read The Directions

To assist those for whom poo bag use is not intuitive, sequential images illustrated the proper technique. 1.) Put bag over hand. 2.) Grab poo. 3.) Reverse bag, tie securely, and deposit in an appropriate receptacle.

For Some Of Us, Doing Things The Easy Way Is Difficult

Whether you’re ascending from the cellar in recovery, firing a rifle, or cleaning up after your dog – being in the right place at the right time pays handsome dividends.

APA Reference
McHarg, A. (2013, September 10). Elevator Broken - Use The Steps (In The Right Order), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, December 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/funnyinthehead/2013/09/elevator-broken-use-the-steps-in-the-right-order



Author: Alistair McHarg

cindyaka
September, 18 2013 at 4:06 am

Hi Alistair! I've finally caught the ship. I start a new teaching job in October. Thanks for the words of encouragement. :)

Clyde Crum
September, 16 2013 at 2:01 pm

Alistair, we haven't chatted for a while! Ready, Fire, Aim, struck a chord with me as well. :)
I have been BUSY, my friend! My wife Gerifish Lerner (on FB, the nickname is a long story) has an upcoming operation happening, and needs the approval of her approximately 30 specialists.
My 87-year-old Mom has relocated to roughly 3 miles from where I live, which keeps me hopping, I can tell you! Of my two brothers and myself, I'm closest to her home by a major margin. My phone rings 4 or 5 times a week, for things that "can't wait." :o)
I'm also in the middle of writing the sequel to Hammer's Forest. I was on the fence re making it only a 2-part series, but I like these characters so much I might make it a 5-parter!
In my copious free time I get to Facebook from time to time and check my email almost weekly.
Mark Twain once described an editor that he worked under (during his first stint reporting) as "a felicitous skirmisher with a pen." Somehow that phrase comes to mind when I read your work. I always at least chuckle, prompting my wife to ask, "what's so funny?"
I can't always explain it, but I chuckle nonetheless.
Hoping this finds you well,
Clyde

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Alistair McHarg
September, 18 2013 at 2:15 am

thanks for writing, clyde - glad for the laughs

cindyaka
September, 11 2013 at 3:26 am

I kind of like Ready, Fire, Aim. Sometimes it's just fun to be spontaneous in a good and safe way. As for being at the right place at the right time, I seem to have missed the ship as of late. I'll just have to wait for the thing to turn around. Best of days to you and yours.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Alistair McHarg
September, 11 2013 at 9:18 am

Hi Cindy: You hang tough, my friend - nothing rewards like patience. All the best, A

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