Rape Fantasy: Does It Mean You Want to Be Raped?
A rape fantasy is an erotic fantasy, also called ravishment fantasy, about forced sex. It involves a person (typically a woman) imagining a scenario in which a stranger physically forces or coerces her into sex. Men have these rape fantasies too, but to a lesser extent, and they are most often the one forcing the sex on a woman feigning resistance.
Rape Fantasy – Quietly Researching a Touchy Taboo
A 1998 study, titled Force in Women's Sexual Fantasies by Donald Strassberg, claims that over 50 percent of sexually active female participants reported imagining a scenario involving a rape fantasy. More recent analyses of 20 studies place that number as high as 57 percent for women and about 48 percent for heterosexual males. Studies by other human sexuality researchers count these fantasies as within the range of normal sexuality. Researchers unequivocally insist that these fantasies do not, in any way, indicate that a woman has a fantasy of being raped in real life.
Studies about fantasies involving rape aren't publicized like other sexuality studies. One reason is researchers' fears that, seen out of proper context, the lay public may perceive research sponsors as attempting to normalize sexual violence against women.
Women and Rape Fantasy – Submission Thrills
Frequently, women use rape fantasy to experience the edge of imaginative limits – to get a thrill and experience forced submission in a controlled, safe environment. But many won't admit that they have ravishment fantasies for fear others will judge them as perverted and abnormal. They hide their sexual imaginations because they feel conflicted in fantasizing about something that would cause debilitating trauma in real life.
Women need not guard their ravishment fantasies so closely now. The overwhelming popularity of E.L. James' Fifty Shades erotic trilogy, involving sexual submission and dominance, has brought the rape fantasy discussion out in the open. Human sexuality experts emphatically state that rape fantasy is not wrong, but healthy and normal. They emphasize that the participants must agree on the boundaries and what will transpire during the role-play prior to the act. Most recommend agreeing upon a safe-word that, when spoken, will halt all activity immediately. Consensual agreement, despite feigned resistance during the acting out of the fantasy, is key to keeping things safe for both involved.
Common Fantasies for Women That Involve Force
Common fantasies for women with a theme of forced sex involve an audacious, somewhat arrogant, but incredibly handsome man sexually coercing her at home. She may want him to surprise her while showering; or perhaps he's an electrician come to install a chandelier, but has plans beyond leaded crystal lighting; some women arrange for the intruder to awaken her as she sleeps in a luxurious bed, wearing sheer, silky sleepwear; still others tell their partner to tie her up due to her persistent resistance to his overtures. It's likely that no two women imagine identical fantasy rape scenarios.
What Do Women Get Out of Rape Fantasy Role Play?
Today's woman can enjoy rape fantasy because she has a more liberated life than ever before – professionally, educationally, relationally, and sexually. Depending on the woman's lifestyle and personal desires, rape fantasy can satisfy many previously unmet needs:
- Guilt avoidance – She may have a familial background where women who enjoyed sex were looked upon as dirty and trashy. Rape fantasy play can allow her to "resist" and say "no" to intense sex that her socialization forbids, yet still experience it.
- Feel irresistible – Women may want to feel so attractive that even a normally innocent handy man at her home simply cannot resist the urge to touch her and ravish her body. She's so attractive, in fact, that when she resists, he just takes what he must have.
- Thrill of submission – Women in executive level careers in which they're always the assertive, decision making boss, may feel coerced submission offers a release from the everyday pressures of assuming the position of power over others.
- Thrill and chill of fear – Even though the role-play is planned and consensual, some women can suspend their disbelief to the point of experiencing a certain level of fear that feels thrilling. This may appeal to those who feel bored in their professional lives, homemaking role, or are tired with the day-to-day duties of life.
These represent only a few of the underlying reasons women engage in consensual rape fantasy with their partners. As long as it's consensual, anything goes and sexual fantasy is healthy.
Gluck, S. (2012, July 2). Rape Fantasy: Does It Mean You Want to Be Raped?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, January 23 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/rape/rape-fantasy-does-it-mean-you-want-to-be-raped