This is my story...

Hi all, I know everyone comes here for a reason, and every reason is different, but most of us are just looking for some answers to our many questions or just some support through the tough times. I wish you all good luck in your life. My new years resolution us to get better, and yes I said this last year and I failed. But I'm going to try yet again. I was diagnosed with major depression in the beginning of 2009 and probably started sometime in the middle of 2008 but I was too scared to go and see anyone about it. I was in my last year of school and had bronchitis 3 times that year, I had to give up dance which was my life. I also lost one of my friends to SADS. All of this happened in about a week. I stood strong for my friends and looked after them and not many seemed to return the favor because I seemed strong. One friend however stuck with me and insisted I get help, she stood by my side the whole way through. I tried miserably to commit suicide several different ways on the same night. That was not the only time. I self harmed, and still have the urge to cut, i think I have learnt to self harm in a way that no one really notices and links to self harming but it still works for me most of the time. I have been with an acute care team and that only made situations worse. I have seen several psychiatrists, psychologists, GP's, counsellors and social workers. No one understands! My family is overprotective and that makes me hide everything from them. It's now 2011 and I am sick of this, I am sick if the millions of different diagnoses and medications not working, I am sick of people not listening. I am sick of failing and I am over being like this. I don't know what to do now, I just know I don't want another year like the last. If anyone has any ideas, I would be grateful, I'm just about ready to give up. Amy