Anorgasmia is the inability to have a climax and affects men as well as women. Another term for male anorgasmia is delayed or retarded ejaculation, which means that even after extended stimulation, the man cannot come. Estimates suggest one man in ten has this problem at some time in his life, but that only one in a hundred sees it as bad enough to need therapy.
The causes are many and complex. Clear cut reasons would include an injury or operation that blocks the nerves which are responsible for ejaculation. Less obvious is the way men are brought up, and the beliefs they have about sex. Men who, under stress, 'hold back' their climax, may be more rigid and self-disciplined in their views about sex. They may also have ideas about sex being dirty or contaminating their partner. These ideas may be conscious or unconscious, and it is possible that orgasm difficulties can occur in one situation, or with one partner, but not another.
Treatment for Male Anorgasmia
One therapeutic method calls for abstaining from intercourse, and concentrate instead on petting and cuddling. The partner is encouraged to masturbate the man to a climax outside her body.
Once the man becomes used to this, the man is asked to allow his partner to masturbate him, while he fantasizes intercourse. Very gradually, the partner is asked to masturbate the man to a climax, and then to mount him, with her on top, and to bring him to a climax in the same way. The man is encouraged at all times to fantasize about sex he had had with his partner before the problems began.
The partners are both encouraged to re-visit sexual scenarios where they had felt more liberated (eg the back of his car) and then by gradual steps, to intercourse. In this way, the man begins to bridge the gap between sex as it had always been.
In addition, the sex and relationship therapist can help the couple to identify other ways in which they could have physical fun, and help each other to let go.
The goal is to gradually begin to have intercourse on a more regular basis, with the man able to climax.
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Staff, H. (2009, January 3). Male Anorgasmia, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, January 20 from https://www.healthyplace.com/sex/psychology-of-sex/male-anorgasmia