How to Be Close to Your Friends

Chapter 109 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

IF JOE AND PETE ARE FRIENDS, they must have something in common: they went to the same school, work in the same place, etc. There are lots of possible things to have in common, but there is one that really makes a difference one factor which, if it is held in common by Joe and Pete, can make them close friends.

That factor is purpose (aim, intention). If Joe and Pete are both strongly interested in the same purpose, they can be close friends.

So in order to have a close friend, you have to know what your own strongest interest is. What fires you up with passion for the subject? What do you love to talk about? What do you love to read about? What do you love to do? What do you strongly desire? When you know the answers to these questions, and when the answers are not a big list of things, but one major one, you've found your purpose.

Now that you know what your main intention or interest is, you can look at your friends and see which one or ones share that interest. Then, to get closer, you simply make the friendship center around that interest. Do things together along the lines of that interest; learn things about it and share what you've learned with your friend; empower each other and encourage each other to persist along those lines when the going gets tough. Do this and if you're honest with your friend, you can have a very close, warm friendship...a lifetime friendship.

If you look at your friends and none of them share your purpose, join clubs and associations that specialize in your interest area. Go to classes and meetings that center around your interest. Your chances are pretty good that you'll find a friend who can become a close fried. And a close friend is the best thing in the world for your health and happiness.

Find and cultivate a friendship that centers around your strongest interest.

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 5). How to Be Close to Your Friends, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 21 from

Last Updated: March 31, 2016

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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