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Gambling fixation doesn't look the same for everyone. Very quickly into my gambling escapades, I realized that each person’s journey is unique, and this is determined by their motivations, vulnerabilities, and circumstances. Looking back at my own experience, I see that I became an interplay of personality traits. Through the winning, losing, and desperation phases of my journey, my emotional struggles, personality, and attraction to the allure of gambling unlocked in me the chaser, escape artist, risk taker, denier, and isolationist. These are types of gambling fixation.
When many people think of verbal abuse, they picture an angry person screaming insults or spewing vicious words, but passive aggressiveness can be verbally abusive, too. Verbal abuse doesn't have to include yelling or potential threats. Sometimes, passive-aggressive verbal abuse can be just as harmful.
Growth milestones for borderline personality disorder (BPD) recovery have been a gratifying evolution. Tracking my progress is like observing a baby's journey from crawling to walking and talking. This perspective has softened my self-judgment about living with mental illness, as I tend to be hard on myself. Growth milestones in BPD matter.
Learning to say no after trauma can feel like stepping on someone's toes without stopping to apologize. In other words, it can feel harsh, cruel, rude, and downright awful to set a boundary or put your needs first. Through my experience enduring childhood sexual assault, I learned that my body was not my own. This idea made saying no after trauma very difficult.
Athletes can experience verbal abuse while participating in a wide variety of activities, from team sports to individual competitions. This verbal abuse can cause stress and possible emotional harm to the athlete. Insults, name-calling, or put-downs will not make a swimmer move faster through the water or ensure a child will score a goal. In fact, the opposite often occurs. Athletes who experience verbal abuse can suffer from low self-esteem and have increased self-doubt, hindering their athletic abilities.
It's the start of a new year, and it's a good time to reflect on the previous year and the things I learned about my anxiety. It's also a good time to reflect on strategies that I used for coping with anxiety, what worked well, and what didn't. Here's how I handle anxiety in the new year.
Many women dread the mere thought of turning into their mothers, to the extent that "I am turning into my mother" is a dramatic or hilarious trope often used in TV and films. However, in my case, this thought is aspirational instead of terrifying because my mother is one of my role models. And to quote the anonymous, "If I turn into my mother or even half the woman she is, I'll consider my life a successful one."
Setting goals is great, but setting realistic goals is even better. It’s the beginning of a new year, which means it’s the beginning of New Year’s resolutions season. While thinking about my self-improvement, I believe it’s important to set realistic goals that are easier to maintain and won’t leave me feeling like I’m fighting against the impossible.
As I approached the New Year, I found myself drawn to the age-old tradition of setting resolutions for mental health empowerment. For someone navigating the intricate path of mental health diagnoses, the idea of New Year's resolutions takes on a special significance. These resolutions, far beyond the usual promises of hitting the gym or saving money, can become allies in my quest for self-esteem and purpose amid the complexities of mental health recovery. Learn how to create empowered mental health through New Year's resolutions.
Gambling addiction recovery extends beyond breaking free from the grips of compulsive gambling. I learned the importance of identifying and cultivating healthier outlets for stress and excitement to prevent relapses and embrace a fulfilling life in recovery. My addiction was primarily fueled by excitement and stress, and in my recovery from gambling addiction, I have discovered activities that offer a sustainable and enriching alternative to gambling.
First of all, thank you for sharing your story. You are a very caring person, and I commend you for, as Tammy Wynette sings, "Stand(ing) by your man." That aside, I wholeheartedly agree with you that those living with depression may seem selfish to someone on the outside. Still, in reality, they (me also being one of them) think our loved ones would be better off without us around because of our depression. We think we are doing our loved ones a favor by leaving. Depression causes our brains to work in different ways, causing us to think distortedly -- so no, we are not purposefully being selfish. Thank you for seeing that with your loved one and not allowing someone else to convince you otherwise.
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.