Recovery from Overeating

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

online conference transcript

Joanna Poppink, MFT, our guest, maintains that the biggest blocks to recovery from compulsive overeating are misinformation about the eating disorder, and an over concern about what others think as opposed to a focus on how the eating disordered person thinks, feels and experiences the world.

David Roberts is the HealthyPlace.com moderator.

The people in blue are audience members.

David: Good Evening. I'm David Roberts, the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.com.

Our topic tonight is "Recovery From Overeating". Our guest is therapist, Joanna Poppink, MFT. Joanna's site, Triumphant Journey, is located inside the HealthyPlace.com Eating Disorders Community. At her site, you can also find her "Cyberguide to Stop Overeating and Recover From Eating Disorders". Joanna has been in private practice since 1980 in Los Angeles, California.

Good evening, Joanna, and welcome to HealthyPlace.com. We appreciate you being our guest tonight. I think the people in our audience are very interested in recovery from compulsive overeating. You said one of the biggest blocks to accomplishing that is misinformation. What kind of misinformation are you referring to?

Joanna: Hello David and everyone. I'm delighted to be here.

People usually think of eating disorders as having to do with food and eating or non-eating behaviors. If that's the limited perception, then the cure is simple. Just stop doing it.

But I'm sure everyone in this discussion appreciates that recovery is not so simple. Guilt, shame, fear, distorted perceptions, are all symptoms of the disorder as well. The internal life of the person with the eating disorder, needs to be respected and understood with compassion and intelligence. Recovery covers a lot more territory than eating or non-eating behavior.

David: By the way, if anyone in the audience isn't sure if they are a compulsive overeater, Joanna has a questionnaire on her site that may help you.

You also mentioned another big block to recovery from compulsive overeating is an overconcern about what others think vs. how the overeater thinks, feels and experiences the world. Can you explain that?

Joanna: Briefly, I'll try. An aspect of the symptoms of an eating disorder is the desire to be perfect. Perfection is defined by the individual and usually has to do with goals that cannot be achieved, like looking beautiful all the time, having a flat stomach, a four point grade average, a winning job situation, a "perfect" partner, and so many other attributes.

Often the person struggles to maintain an image of perfection, even to the point of lying and using other forms of subterfuge to convey the perfect image.

Also, people in the eating disordered person's life may come to expect an impossibly high standard to be maintained. Then we've got a painful situation where people are trying to live up to what they believe are standards in other people's minds as well as their own.

Nobody knows anybody, really. The false presentation is a terrible burden to carry. It's a set up for disappointment and painful disillusionment.

David: What causes someone to become a compulsive overeater? (overeating causes)

Joanna: That's the 64,000 dollar question. I can give you a list of possibilities. These possibilities are indeed factors in people becoming compulsive overeaters. BUT, there are many people who experience these stressors and do not become compulsive overeaters.

In my opinion, from my experience, from hearing the stories of many hundreds, perhaps thousands now, of people with eating disorders I have never once heard anyone say they wanted to have an eating disorder. No one chooses it. No one wants to die. No one wants to be fat. No one wants to be skeletal. No one wants a life of lies and deception and isolation.

The person with the eating disorder developed the eating disorder to help them cope with what they could not cope with any other way. This usually has to do with some kind of stress that creates unbearable anxiety. Unbearable anxiety means just that. The person cannot bear to experience their feelings, so the compulsive overeating comes in to numb them out. Unbearable stress comes in many forms: usually it has something to do with the person's humanity being disregarded in some way. This could be emotional, physical, spiritual.

I have an article I call the Number One reason for developing an eating disorder. It's about disregarding boundaries, i.e. disregarding where one person begins and another ends. However, please remember, not all people in such situations develop eating disorders. Such coping mechanisms as alcoholism, drug use, compulsive exercising, compulsive work, addiction to drama, control, sex, etc. are all ways of coping with the unbearable. And sometimes they overlap with each other.

David: Joanna's "Cyberguide to Stop Overeating and Recover From Eating Disorders" can be found on her site at HealthyPlace.com. You'll definitely want to take the time to read it because it helps you understand why you may be overeating and then, there are exercises to help you stop.

Here's an audience question, Joanna: