People who have dissociative identity disorder (DID) may have many separate identities, called alters. Some of these alters may communicate with each other and some of them may not. When I was first diagnosed with DID, my alters did not communicate with each other at all. I was only aware of the current personality state that I was in. I wasn’t aware of any other personalities. Keep reading »

Drug and alcohol addiction are very common. People who struggle with mental disorders may also face substance addiction in their lives. Personally, I tried using drugs to cope with my dissociative identity disorder (DID) and extreme feelings. The drugs numbed the pain and calmed my anxiety, for a while. What I didn’t realize is that drug addiction can be just as painful as mental illness and that using drugs, eventually, makes mental illness much worse. Keep reading »

Dissociation is part of being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID). Sometimes this does not mean splitting between personalities, but just simply losing touch with reality for a time. Many people who suffer from DID also experience other mental illnesses, or mental illness symptoms. One that I have noticed is anxiety symptoms. Dissociation and anxiety symptoms sometimes causes me panic attacks. Keep reading »

Many people have experiences with dissociation, and at its most extreme, one may be diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID). Sometimes dissociation is a pleasant alternative to dealing with the anxiety or fear that triggered it. Other times, however, dissociation itself may be very scary and cause anxiety. One tool for coping with frightening dissociation is to use a safe object. Keep reading »

Living with dissociative identity disorder (DID) can be a perplexing reality. There are many symptoms, including depersonalization and derealization. One symptom involves “losing time” or “blacking out” for periods of time. This happens with no drugs or alcohol in the system. It is scary to realize that you’ve lost time, and sometimes the person may not realize it at all. Keep reading »

Dissociation is a common phenomenon. Most people will experience dissociation at some point in their lives. It becomes a disorder, like in dissociative identity disorder (DID), when it is so frequent or severe that it interrupts a person’s daily life. One common technique used for dissociation is called grounding. It is a technique that helps a person regain connection with his or her physical body. This may often end the dissociation, or will at least make it more bearable. Keep reading »

Hello, my name is Sherry Polley. I am currently 31 and living in Indianapolis, Indiana. I will be blogging for the Dissociative Living blog. I was formally diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID) around 2008. I have since recovered from the disorder due to therapy and a miraculous medication. I had been living with the disorder for my entire life, and found it to be very confusing until I received and understood the diagnosis of DID. It wreaked havoc on my life and was very painful. I did a lot of unpleasant things when my alters would take over and my loved ones were very concerned about my behaviors. I am here to tell you that recovery is possible, from dissociative identity disorder as well as others.  Keep reading »

When my brother was little, he went to school one day, climbed on top of his desk, and screamed. He didn’t say anything. He just screamed. Nobody asked him why. When he ran away from home a few years later, the pastor of our church came over, witnessed my father’s performance as a remorseful parent, and didn’t concern himself with what exactly my father had to feel so regretful about. When I was six, my mother took me to a doctor – one of my father’s colleagues – who asked her what had happened to make me bleed. I don’t remember what she told him. All I know is that it wasn’t the truth. She didn’t know the truth. Only I and my father did. And no one asked me. Of course, by then I already had dissociative identity disorder (DID). Who knows what I would’ve said if they’d asked. Keep reading »

Of all my Dissociative Living posts, only one was written for partners of people with dissociative identity disorder (DID). Maybe that’s why the emails I still receive now and again from readers are almost always from partners. And the emails are always the same: something like, “I love my partner, but someone in their system broke up with me/told me to go away. Other parts love me and want me around. What should I do?” It’s uncanny, really, how nearly identical each of these emails are. And here, once and for all, is my response to everyone who finds themselves desperate to know what they can do about their partner with dissociative identity disorder. Keep reading »

When I said that The Courage to Heal isn’t on my recommended reading list, I thought I knew precisely why I felt that way. Written for survivors of child sexual abuse and popular among people with dissociative identity disorder, the book seems to assume that the reader has repressed memories, even going so far as to say in its first edition, “If you are unable to remember any specific instances [of abuse] but still have a feeling that something abusive happened to you, it probably did.” That quote felt deeply problematic to me, but in hindsight, I see that I didn’t fully understand why. Now I do: it’s unintentionally reminiscent of the mind-bending child sexual abuser logic that helped cultivate my dissociative identity disorder. Keep reading »