When I got diagnosed, I was attending a university and on my way to getting a bachelors of computer science. I was a pretty fastidious student in my first year and my grades were excellent. But before I knew what a mental illness was, I became sick and my grades dropped. It was only some time later that it became clear it was because I had bipolar disorder.
And after months of treatment, nothing was working and one day, my doctor said to me,
“You should drop out of school; you’re never going to be able to finish your degree.”
Really? Pshaw.
Getting a University Degree is Hard
Getting a university degree isn’t easy; if it was, everyone would do it. So given that it’s difficult for even the mentally well, it’s understandable that it would be particularly difficult for the mentally ill. It’s OK. Life poses challenges, pretty much all the time.
Accept it’s going to be difficult. Accept it’s going to be more difficult for you than for others. That’s just how it’s going to be.
Getting a University Degree Isn’t Impossible
However, just because it’s hard, that doesn’t make it impossible. I do hard things all the time as do we all. Writing books? Hard. Having kids? Hard. Marriage? Hard. Bipolar? Hard. We’re wired for the hard stuff.
How to Tackle University with a Mental Illness
But there are things you can do to stack the deck in your favor, make it more likely you will graduate.
1. Drop classes – you’re not going to have the same bandwidth as everyone else so stop pretending that you do. There’s no shame in saying you need to take a bit longer to complete your degree. There’s no shame in making modifications to something really difficult to make it more doable for you. If you burn yourself out on classes, you’re not going to graduate and you’re going to sacrifice your mental health.
2. Take easy electives – yes, it’s possible you really want to take advanced math-o-biochemistry-computerology but try to give yourself a break and take introduction to the modern sit-com instead. You’ll thank me come midterms.
3. Talk to your professors; get extensions – talk to your professors early. When you see a storm a-coming, that is the time to talk to them – not after you’re in a full-blown episode. Most professors are very understanding and will make reasonable modifications to due dates and make-up exams if you just talk to them openly about it. Get a doctor’s note if you need it.
4. Prioritize school; work harder – you’re probably going to have to do more work for lesser grades. Just accept that. But if you really want to go to school and you really want good grades, then spend every moment you can devoted to that pursuit. If a degree is really what you want, act like it.
I Got a Degree. I Have Bipolar Disorder.
I managed to get my bachelors of computer science. I had to go to school 6 semesters back-to-back (no summers off) and it took me a year longer than it should have, but I did it. I can’t promise everyone can do that, but I can say that when you really want something, you need to find inventive ways to help you get it.
Having a disability isn’t so much about closing doors as much as it is about redefining how they look.
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Imagine if Van Gogh’s doctor told him, “You’re way too crazy to paint a masterpiece like ‘Crows On A Wheatfield’ – why don’t you stay with easier stuff like sad clowns with liquid eyes or dogs playing poker?”
As a rule, bipolars skew brighter than average and are frequently very high functioning. That said, I like your final sentence very much. Expect speed bumps and adjust for them, your path to greatness is likely to be off the main road.
Alistair,
Well, it would have probably been the best dogs playing poker ever.
Just an FYI, I’ve written about the research, and we don’t skew brighter than average, actually less so in many regards. Some of us are high-functioning, some not so. http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/06/are-people-with-bipolar-disorder-more-intelligent/
And see, I don’t think we’re great. I just think we’re people.
- Natasha
There is a lot of mischief in the world of research, not to mention semantics. Many great writers are alcoholics; but being an alcoholic does not increase your chances of being a great writer. – According to research I’ve been pointed to for year after year – bipolar disorder tracks intelligence – which is to say – there is a slightly higher probability of a bipolar person being clever than being a dunce. – As you point out – how you define intelligence makes a huge difference. — As to the linkage between bipolar and creativity – I become infuriated. Members of our community who should know better have been perpetuating this twaddle for decades, with disastrous results. As with intelligence, there is a slightly higher chance that a bipolar person is creative – on average.
No offence to anyone but my creative mind is a response to living with bipolar disorder not a symptom. My intelligence the same. There is no correlation between it and this sucky illness.
With that said. I agree with Natasha it is all about pacing yourself. I have a business school diploma, chefs papers and I am currently going to school again.
The key is not to load your plate too high and to communicate with administrators and instructors.
I failed every test until I had the balls to say I cannot do tests and pass with other people in the room, I am too distracted. Now in a quiet near dark room I ace most tests.
I had a Doctor tell me I should not quit smoking, the risks of me becoming unstable was riskier then smoking(seriously). I quit and remained intact.
I think if anyone wants education they should go for it. I love going to school, I don’t want to leave.
Jake,
“…my creative mind is a response to living with bipolar disorder not a symptom. My intelligence the same. There is no correlation between it and this sucky illness.”
Brilliant way of saying that. I’ve thought the same thing.
Good to hear you’re doing so well at school. But you will have to leave sometime
- Natasha
I was not diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder until I was several years after earning my Masters Degree in Divinity and being ordained as a minister.
So I know that anyone can earn their degree.
That being said, I could seriously relate to much of what is said in this article.
I wish I had known these things sooner, it would have helped.
Thank you, Natasha, for writing such an informative article to help others.
I have to say that a lot of this also depends on the kind of support that each school offers. Many times there is a shortage of personnel in the counseling/health center so that a student has to be in a crisis before they can get intervention from a psychiatrist. Some schools have strict rules that say that students are required to take leaves of absence or leave school altogether. Some schools may also have “Active Minds” chapters which do a lot to promote mental wellness on college campuses. Unfortunately it sounds like you had a run-in with a bigoted MD so it’s good that you succeeded despite them.
Geeze, of the 2000+ persons with BP that I have worked with in my career In can see no corrolation between greatness, intelligence or art. I could say that it’s not very intellegent to go off meds and you don’t look very great in a seclusion room smear feces on the wall (a bit exaggerated but that’s the art part). Me I am a middle road bipolar, used to be smarter when I was younger but arn’t we all? But meds and illness take thier toll. I have had clients who topped out at macdonalds and executives and drs all equally humbled by the bipolar god.
It took twelve years between my high school graduation and university graduation because of years sitting out. I had no problems making almost perfect grades, but I would get to a point where I just had to stop for a while. It can be done, you just have to keep trying. My personal life has been much harder than my academic one.
It might be worthwhile to point out that some colleges and universities, despite public statements to the contrary, *do* discriminate against mental illness issues. My sister, who has both bipolar disorder and depression, attended graduate school at a certain Ivy League university in New York City (that ought to narrow it down, huh?). During her time there she became so despondent that she attempted suicide, and spent some time in the mental health ward of the hospital recuperating from the attempt. When she went to the dean of her college and freely admitted what had happened — at the same time averring her desire to rise above it and finish her degree — she began to receive intense pressure to drop out of school, not only from the dean but from other professors, who had been notified of my sister’s (private) discussion with the dean. She went from being well-liked in the program to being told, to her face, that some people just didn’t have what it took to “cut it” in that field. She was passed over for multiple fellowships, and had to take out crippling student loans to finish school — but the point is, she DID finish school and is now working in her chosen field.
Here’s the point, I suppose: if you have any kind of mental disability and you’re attending a prestigious university that is more concerned with enhancing its reputation than with furthering your education, don’t be forthcoming with them. They will attempt to penalize you for it.
I struggled with school and education when I was younger. Looking back, my mental health was a major factor. I now have an MBA and my graduation picture sits alongside a photo of my wedding; two things I’d thought impossible when being held on a section 10 years ago.
I just finished a college course for a Certificate in Medical Receptionist at 59, with rapid-cycling bi-polar II. It took me a year instead of 9 months, and there were days I didn’t think I could do it. But with constant cheerleading from friends and my counselor I made it! I realize this is not a real degree, but wanted something quick and sensible to be able to find work. (No, not yet!) I agree with the working harder part, although some of that was my age as well. I had to be very organized and set priorities clearly, but am proud of my 3.91 GPA!
I’ve had to all four of these tips already. My first year in college was when the bipolar symptoms started popping up, and as it continued it was getting more and more difficult to deal with everyday life, let alone schoolwork. I continued this into my second year and became seriously overwhelemed. I ended up extending my program (which is common even among mentally well students given the nature and workload of the course), and have since been discussing with my instructors about my mental illness, because they do seem to care how I’m functioning.
This year, so far so good. I’m feeling a lot better than I did last year, and I’m pumped for actually finishing and going out into the workforce. I just hope that they see that too.
In my first semester at college at 18 years old, mania surfaced; but no one at the school knew what was happening to me. In the second semester, I was sent home. My parents wanted me to see a psychiatrist; but I was flying so high then that I saw absolutely nothing unusual about my behavior, and I refused to go.
Over the next 38 years, I went back to college seven different times. Some semesters, I actually completed a course; but mostly I just quit going to classes, either so manic that I came up with a “grander” project or so depressed that I didn’t care about school anymore.
Five years ago, I was diagnosed (rapid cycling) and began medication and psychotherapy – and went back to school for the eighth time.
I can only handle two classes at a time; and even then, it’s been very difficult. One semester, I had to completely withdraw from the University. Four times, I stopped going to one of the two classes because of the stress, unwilling to talk to the professor about it. Of course, I failed those classes. Three times I said: “That’s it. I’m never going back.” But, when the next semester rolled around, I’d be back at it again.
If I had been following the four tips above, and many other ones that have been suggested (including registering with the Office of Disabilities Services), maybe it would not have been so difficult.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m 61 years old. After this semester, I have only one more class to go! At this point, getting the degree is not about getting a job. It’s about not giving up.
Great article Natasha! You made me smile with the advice to
“drop classes – you’re not going to have the same bandwidth as everyone else so stop pretending that you do.”
I had just decided today to drop a class and will now take another extra year to finish my degree. Which doesn’t sound like much on its own, but I have had to do this several times over the years. Will end up taking me 10 years to finish (along with having 3 children)
I should have never enrolled in full time this semester, yet I thought if i can just swing it this way and push thru???? The only pushing thru I’m doing is to the other side of life.
Yes, I will stop pretending
Another great post, Natasha. I am going to forward this to my son’s therapist.
While I do not have BP, I suffer from it through my son.
But I have also known a few psychotherapists with Bi-Polar, and many very good, competent and successful. They have all finished at least a master’s level training. The only caveat to their professional life is that they occasionally take “vacations” on recommendation from their colleagues that know about their condition and help them get help when they need it. As a professor I teach Intro to Psych to about 250 student each semester and there is an average of 3-4 students who admit to being bi-polar in each class (for about 18 students each semester.) I give the message that you gave here to every class.
What a great conversation!
So many people think that a “mental” disorder is an “intelligence” disorder, which is so unfair to us. It’s that perception that keeps people from disclosing their disease for fear of being labeled “less than”.
Yes, I have bipolar, have been hospitalized twice and have taken meds for over 10 years. But I also have an English degree from an Ivy League university, an MBA from a top-10 program, and a 6-figure job with a promising career in marketing. I have lots of things that the average person doesn’t, some really good, some really crappy, but things even out in the end.
Perhaps it was harder for me to get through school and work than for people without my disease. Maybe it was easier for me because I’m smarter than the average person. Whatever. Nothing worth having isn’t worth working hard for.
Great article. I first became ill in my first year of college. It took 7 years to graduate with several hospitalizations. My key was to NOT GIVE UP!!! I was fortunate to have a good support system. I later went on to earn my credential in substance abuse counseling and a Masters in Student Personnel Administration. All this to say that by learning to manage my BP I have been able to achieve many of my goals. Recovery is possible. Check out my blog at: http://workingonwellnessbuffalo.blogspot.com
Natasha,
Have read a few of your articles on the bipolar burble and here, and you are an awesome writer! I identify very strongly with many of your articles, but more importantly you tell it like it is, you write to the point (digging the giagantic headers) and you also write critically and intellectually. You don’t just quote some imaginary studies and say that research has shown this without actually having read the research articles yourself.
I think I will be reading more of your blog in the future, I just had to express how impressed I was by your writing…
I went to Uni, didn’t get my degree. Was bipolar a factor? YES. But it was undiagnosed and therefore untreated. I still see it as unfinished business and one day I will do it, but now I am in a position to do so the only obstacle in the way is my fear of failing again. You CAN get a degree if you have bipolar, but only if you acknowledge it and accept treatment and support.
Dear anonymous,
Your sister’s experience at Columbia sounds awful, incredibly discriminatory, and unfair. It reminds me of an article I read by a Yale alum who was forced to leave Yale after being hospitalized for bipolar disorder. http://www.esmewang.com/2011/02/why-i-left-yale-mental-illness-higher-education/
That’s the reason why one should never voluntarily tell a professor or employer. I have found that some people, if they know something about mental health, can be very compassionate, while others are ignorant and discriminating – even if they are highly accomplished professionals in their fields. Mental health is not well understood. You never know which you’ll get. Even those who you think would understand might treat you very different afterwards. In my opinion, it’s not worth the risk.
Does Columbia have an Office of Accessible Education? It might have been better to go there rather than to a dean.