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Borderline Symptoms

I live in a bad neighborhood, complete with an abandoned house next door. About a week ago, I saw a man with a crowbar and a bag enter the house through the previously boarded-up window. I called 911 to report a breaking and entering (B and E), and the police came out to investigate. Or so I thought. I walked outside, identified myself as the caller and prepared to positively identify the suspect. However, the police just looked at the forced-open window and left without saying a word. They didn't even interview me. I later learned that it's not the first time this guy has had the cops called on him--my landlord has called the police, but nothing has been done. The whole experience has caused my symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) to flare up. It has made me think about what a person with mental illness can do when they witness, or, God forbid, are victims of, a crime.
Romantic relationships are difficult enough without mental illness entering the equation. But when one or both of the people involved has borderline personality disorder (BPD), relationships can become sheer hell. I live with BPD and was once in a romantic relationship with a man who had BPD and bipolar disorder; it was probably the biggest mistake I ever made. That said, I learned a lot from it.
Addiction can be one of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. In my case, alcoholism both fuels and is fuelled by my psychiatric conditions. As I've progressed in therapy, I've learned that everything addiction told me is a lie.
We all know the joke that "normal" is just a setting on the dryer (it's also a street name here in Indianapolis), but let's face it--we have a normal (for us) mode of operation. Mental health professionals call this "baseline." Some people have high baselines and can pass for someone who does not have a psychiatric diagnosis. Others have a low baseline and wander around in public talking to themselves--I have a few neighbors like that. But we all have a borderline baseline.
Three times a week, I go to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and say "My name is Becky, and I'm an alcoholic." I've been doing this for a little more than a year now, and the further along I get in sobriety, the more I learn. There are many myths about alcoholism, some of which I'm still learning to accept as myths. But recognizing these myths as such is crucial to recovery from addiction.
My diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is somewhat controversial; one doctor said it might be more accurate to say I have "traits of borderline." Whatever the words, I have at least one symptom of BPD--I self-injure. That's easy to define, but hard to explain. Here's my story.
Are your symptoms of borderline personality disorder flaring up with no apparent cause? Sometimes a major purchase can trigger symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Instead of the buyer's "high" that comes with something new, buyer's remorse can be felt. The resulting sadness can cause symptoms of BPD such as self-harm.
Some say that art can be therapeutic. Music is no exception. Recently, I've discovered three songs that are, as far as I know, not about borderline personality disorder (BPD), but do a remarkable job describing it. The songs are Meredith Brooks's Bitch, Billy Joel's She's Always a Woman to Me, and Natalie Merchant's My Skin.
I'll be the first to admit I'm a gamer. I love playing video games, especially open-world role playing games such as The Elder Scrolls series and the Assassin's Creed series. I'm even a member of the Video Game Voters Network, an organization dedicated to recognizing video games as free speech. So I make it a point to keep up on news related to video games. You're probably wondering "What does this have to do with mental illness?" Well, according to the New York Daily News, video game addiction is often a symptom of depression or anxiety.
On Monday, Aaron Alexis went into the Washington Navy Yard and started shooting. Within hours his mental state was questioned--we're now learning Aaron Alexis had a psychiatric history and "slipped through the system". While there is no definite link between mental illness and a risk of violence, there is a pattern emerging between mass shooters and inadequate mental health treatment. (read: Should People with a Mental Illness have Firearm Rights?) There but for the grace of God, go I.