The Sexual Self-Perceptions of Young Women Experiencing Abuse in Dating Relationships

Written by Alia Offman, Kimberly Matheson

Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, Nov, 2004 by Alia Offman, Kimberly Matheson

How we learn to think of ourselves as sexual beings is greatly influenced by our experiences in dating relationships (Paul & White, 1990). Indeed, intimate relationships are highly valued by young adults because they can provide companionship, intimacy, support, and status. However, they also can become a source of emotional and/or physical pain, particularly when the relationship is abusive (Kuffel & Katz, 2002). When the bonds of trust, care, and affection are broken through abusive interactions, the partner experiencing the abuse may develop feelings of inferiority and worthlessness (Ferraro & Johnson, 1983). Although these developments are not surprising in long-running abusive relationships, little is known about the impact of abuse in women's dating relationships. In a recent survey of senior high school students (ages 16-20), Jackson, Cram, and Seymour (2000) found that 81.5% of their female participants reported an experience of emotional abuse in their dating relationships, 17.5% reported having had at least one experience of physical violence, and 76.9% reported incidents of unwanted sexual activity. Unfortunately, these all too common negative experiences likely set the foundation for women's sexual self-perceptions, as for many young women they represented the women's first forays into the exploration of their sexuality.

Women's Sexual Self-Definitions

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Often young women's sexuality is explored not as primary, but rather as a secondary desire, that is, as a response to men's sexuality (Hird & Jackson, 2001). The tendency for women to define their sexuality within the context of the intimate relationship, or as secondary to that of their male partners, means that the quality of interpersonal functioning within the relationship may directly serve to strengthen or undermine women's sexual self-perceptions. Thus, an intimate relationship characterized by abuse and a lack of mutual respect might be expected to impact women's sexual self-perceptions negatively.

The research on women's sexual self-perceptions is sparse, and studies of sexual self-perceptions in relation to experiences of abuse are even fewer. Most notable is the work of Andersen and Cyranowski (1994), who focused on women's cognitive representations of the sexual aspects of the self. They found that women's sexual self-schema contained both positive and negative aspects. Women with more positive sexual schema tended to view themselves as romantic or passionate and as open to sexual relationship experiences. Conversely, women whose schema contained more negative aspects tended to view their sexuality with embarrassment. Andersen and Cyranowski suggested that schematic representations are not simply summaries of past sexual history; schemas are manifest in current interactions, and they guide future behaviors as well. The present study was designed to assess the positive and negative dimensions of young women's sexual self-perceptions, particularly as a function of the extent to which their current relationships are characterized by abusive interactions.

The Effects of Abuse on Women

Violence in an intimate relationship can take many forms including physical assault, psychological aggression, and sexual coercion (Kuffel & Katz, 2002). Much of the research that has assessed the impacts of abuse in dating relationships has focused on physical violence (Jackson et al., 2000; Neufeld, McNamara, & Ertl, 1999). However, the adverse messages that experiences of psychological abuse convey can also impact woman's emotional health and well-being (Katz, Arias, & Beach, 2000), and they may even outweigh the immediate effects of overt physical violence (Neufeld et al., 1999). The presence of sexual violence may also interact with physical abuse to undermine well-being (Bennice, Resick, Mechanic, & Astin, 2003). Much of the research in this respect has focused on the effects of date rape (Kuffel & Katz, 2002).

Currently, there is lack of understanding of how different experiences of abuse (i.e., physical, psychological, and sexual) within dating relationships impact young women's sense of self, including the development of sexual self-perceptions. However, some understanding of the potential impacts might be gleaned from research conducted to assess the sexual perceptions of women in abusive marital relationships. For example, Apt and Hurlbert (1993) noted that women who were experiencing abuse in their marriages expressed higher levels of sexual dissatisfaction, more negative attitudes toward sex, and a stronger tendency to avoid sex than did women who were not experiencing abuse. The psychological sequelae of abuse (e.g., depression) may further reduce a woman's sexual desire, and hence her sense of herself as a sexual being. In addition, physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse within the intimate relationship can create feelings of inferiority and worthlessness in women (Woods, 1999), and feelings of security may be replaced by a sense of powerlessness within the relationship (Bartoi, Kinder, & Tomianovic, 2000). To the extent that abuse undermines a woman's sense of control, she may learn that she should not express her own sexual needs, desires, and limits. Although these impacts were identified in the context of marital relationships, it is likely that they would be evident at earlier stages of a relationship, particularly among young women who often lack voice or sometimes even knowledge of what they do or do not want in a dating relationship (Patton & Mannison, 1995). Even more disturbing is the possibility that women who are experiencing sexual violence may view such experiences as their own fault, and thus internalize the responsibility for the violence (Bennice et al., 2003). Unfortunately, such internalization may again be more likely among young women in the early stages of their relationships, particularly if they begin to define abusive incidents as normal.

Women experiencing abuse in their intimate relationships might demonstrate a change in sexual self-perceptions in the form of lower levels of sexual satisfaction (Siegel, Golding, Stein, Burnam, & Sorenson, 1990). Such changes may be most evident during times of upheaval and instability. Indeed, Rao, Hammen, and Daley (1999) found that young people's vulnerability to developing negative self-perceptions in general (e.g., depressive affect) increased during the transition from high school to college, as they coped with the insecurities that emanate from developmental challenges. Given that one of the most frequently identified buffers against the impacts of stressful events is a secure social support system (Cohen, Gottlieb, & Underwood, 2000), young women who undergo transitional life events in the context of an abusive intimate relationship may be particularly vulnerable to feelings of relationship insecurity and negative self-perceptions. Further, although Rao et al. (1999) noted that these negative feelings dissipated over time, to the extent that women's abusive relationships continue, their negative sexual self-perceptions may continue to be evident.