Essays Table of Contents

Written by Bob Smith

Psychology essays by Richard Grossman, Ph.D. on voicelessness, giving your children voice, good and bad relationships, and how psychotherapy works.

Understanding Voicelessness

Parenting

Giving Your Child "Voice" Fundamental to a child's self-esteem and emotional well being is their sense of "voice." How do you ensure your child receives this lifelong gift?
The Dance If you want to inoculate your child against depression and help build their self-esteem, you must learn how to dance.
Do Parents Matter? The debate has been contentious and highly publicized. One critical issue has not been addressed.
Voice Lessons: Littleton, Colorado (Guest column reprinted from the Brookline Tab, May 13, 1999 and excerpted in Massachusetts Psychologist, June, 1999) What can be learned about parenting from the Columbine High School tragedy?
What is a Wookah? What does a child with "voice" sound like?
Voicelessness: The Depressed Teenager Alienation and despair have reached epidemic proportions in high schools. How can you help your child?
Voicelessness
The Four Questions Who am I? Do I have any value? Why doesn't anyone see or hear me? Why should I live?
Six Questions About "Voice" and "Voicelessness" What is "voice?" Why is it important?
Voicelessness: Narcissism Narcissism is a misnomer. At their core narcissists don't love themselves -- in fact their self barely exists, and what part does exist is deemed worthless. All energy is devoted to inflating the self...
Voicelessness: Holiday Blues If you become depressed at holiday time, you are not alone.
Depression and the Subtext of Family Life In the psychology of children and adults, hidden messages rule.
Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents: Is Love Enough? Important lessons about love and "voice" can be learned from the adult children of narcissistic parents...
Little Voices Deprived of voice in childhood, some people shrink or twist themselves like a pretzel to fit others' worlds.
Voicelessness: Depression Many chronically depressed people experienced childhood voicelessness. How does voicelessness affect adult depression?
Bill Clinton: A Case of Attention Deficit Disorder? Unfortunately, Hillary did not get it quite right when she explained Bill's sexual escapades...
Voicelessness: A Personal Account What happens when a dying parent values one small part of us and neglects the rest? (Invited talk: Contemporary Spiritual Experience, Brookline, MA, Sept, 2002).

Relationships

Why Can't Some People Maintain Intimate Relationships? Many people retreat from close emotional contact, frustrating spouses and partners.Here's a look at the problem from the perspective of childhood "voicelessness."
Why Do Some People Choose One Bad Relationship After Another? Psychoanalysts, citing Freud's "pleasure principle", have suggested masochism as the answer. Why else would people suffer the same pain and humiliation over and over again? Here's another explanation based upon the need to exist in other's eyes.
Relationships: Hidden Messages Hidden messages from childhood secretly affect adult relationships. Here's an example.
Couples Counseling: Is Better Communication Enough? We've read it in all the popular magazines: better communication leads to a happier marriage. But is better communication enough?

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy and Humanism Life experience has taught me that humanism plays a critical role in the healing process.
Psychotherapy: Truth or Revisionist History? Can a therapist uncover the truth about a client's past? Here's a case example based upon a mother's diary.
A Person Appears in My Office What happens next? How does therapy begin?
Psychotherapy in the Internet Age To "e" or not to "e", that is the question...
So, You're Thinking About Becoming a Therapist? Learning about subtext is critical. Here's an exercise based upon Robert Frost's poem, "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening."
Therapy on the High Seas: A Search for Self What happens when an adult child of a narcissistic family faces progressive heart failure? Consider this account of a man's struggle for physical and emotional survival.
Dreams, Imagined Dreams--Failed Therapy Therapists can not only heal, they can hurt.
Depression: Why See a Therapist if You Can Just Take a Pill? Sometimes medication is the easiest and most inexpensive answer for depression. But there are good reasons to consider therapy, even if you are on anti-depressants.
Vulnerability: the roots of compassion Response to the 9-11 terrorist attack. September 27, 2001