"Who are you when no one else is around?"
This page is filled with questions. I've divided the questions into the following categories: Social, Emotional, Significant Relationship, Spiritual/Ethical, Financial, Career, Personal, and Personal Definitions. They're worded in a way to help you get a clearer picture of who you are. Clarity is the goal here, but remember, have fun with the questions. This isn't intended to be a struggle! Make sure to read tips on answering the questions first.
- What type of people do I enjoy spending time with?
- (intelligent, open-minded, out-going, self-righteous, reflective, quiet, funny, a bit sad, optimists, readers, pessimists, thinkers, sports-minded, active, perceptive, debaters, joke-tellers, etc.)
- Why do I enjoy those specific qualities in people?
- Do I seek out people similar as I, or different from me? Why is that?
- Do I have many friends as I just described? Why or why not?
- How many close friends do I want based on the amount of time I have?
- What would those close relationships look like? What would be the biggest aspects? (talking, shared activities, working on projects together, laughter, storytelling, playing games, etc.)
- What are two of the most favorite things I enjoy doing with others?
- Where have I met most of the friends I currently have?
(family, work, community, childhood, online, etc.)
- What does where I met these friends tell me about myself?
- Why am I still friends with those people?
- What is the single biggest attitudinal change I'd like to make when with people? (be more myself, be more out-going, be more honest, initiate more conversations, be more comfortable, be more open, be funnier, interrupt less, initiate more activities, etc.)
- List three situations and/or times when you were the most happy in your life. Specific instances...What elements were present when I felt that way? How was I feeling about myself during those times?
- What do I fear most in my life right now? Why? What would it mean if that happened?
- When do I feel the most angry or frustrated? What is it about those situations that I feel that way?
- What is my definition of love? (not Webster's)
- What are my primary beliefs about love? (it's easy, scary, short-lived, feels good, not possible, difficult, etc.) Where/when did I acquire those beliefs? Do I still believe them? Why or why not?
- Do I have much control over my emotions? Why or why not?
- What emotions do I want to feel most of the time?
If NOT currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship
- What specific characteristics do I want my ideal life partner to possess? (generosity, open-mindedness, funny, gentle, strong personality, quiet, organized, similar beliefs about politics, finances, parenting, etc, fun, honest, similar goals, attractive, playful, out-going, etc.)
- Why do I want them to have those characteristics?
- How would I feel if I never had a life partner? Why would I feel that way?
If currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship
- Am I happy in my current relationship? Why or why not?
- What is the biggest problem I see in the relationship?
- In what way would I like my partner to change? Why is that important to me?
- Could I be happy if that person did not change? Why or why not?
- What did I appreciate about this person when I first met/knew them?
- What do I appreciate about them now?
- Why are those qualities important to me?
- What is the single biggest attitudinal change I could make that would enhance this relationship?
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