Communication: The Relationship Builder (Table of Contents)

Written by Elaine M. Gibson

• Actions speak louder than words
  Sometimes children seem to have extra sensory perception in "reading" adults. Without debating ESP, we know that children do not rely on spoken words to understand the meaning of adult messages.
• A Quiet Parent Makes a Good Listener
  Parents often complain that children refuse to talk. Perhaps it is because parents are such poor listeners. Our intentions are good, but we can say things that literally end communication with our children.

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• When to Talk
  We will never teach our children what we intend to teach by preaching at them during a problem or crisis situation. There is a better time and a better way.
• Getting the Last Word
  Some children are determined to get in the last word, or the last sigh, or the last gesture in every discourse. Verbal harrassment is a form of testing. The kids need to find the limits of socially acceptable behavior. We can understand why they are doing this but we do not have to sit back and allow verbal abuse. Just as the kids are experimenting by trial and error to see what will fly and what won't, we have to do some trial and error parenting.
• Solving Your Kids Problems: Big Mistake
  If a child comes to a parent with a problem that is causing difficulty, the child is asking for a sounding board, not an answer. If the parent asks questions and gives advice, the child will be resentful and the conversation will turn to tears and anger. The solution is so simple.
• Is Parenting about Quality or Quantity?
  Parents today complain more about their lack of time than they do about their children's behavior. We all have more parenting skills than we tend to use. We know how to treat our children. We know how to be better parents. We have problems finding the time for either.