Meeting Kids' Needs: Table of Contents

Written by Elaine M. Gibson

• How They Grow: Birth through Age Twelve
  If we know what to expect at each stage of development, it is easier to decide if our child's behavior is "normal." Knowing what to expect can help parents deal with the frustrations and problems that are quite normal for each age.
• Do children have to be so childish?
  Adults who demand "grown-up behavior" from children can cause so much harm. Children are not miniature adults who just choose to "misbehave."
• They demand attention, naturally!
  Every emotionally healthy child demands attention. The need for attention is real, a basic part of the survival instinct. A major goal of parenting is supplying the attention that kids must have to create their own sense of identity and self-esteem.
  

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• Attention Addiction
  In these days of smaller and smaller families, it is quite easy to go overboard on attention. The problems are not apparent in the beginning but within a few years, an attention-addicted child is a serious problem.
• Tell kids why you like them
  Do your children know what you like about them? Many adults today are still unsure of their parents' love because their parents never conveyed any appreciation for the child's positive traits and abilities.
• Four A's of parenting
  In the course of a day, it is easy for parents to spend more time giving "orders" than communicating "caring". Sometimes, we get so caught up in the "orders" that we forget to say other things to our children as well. We know that we take care of our children because we love them but that is not what they hear. We can make an effort to communicate our love to them in a way that kids will understand, "They love me!"
• ...But words can break your heart."
  The rule is not,"Treat others the way you want to be treated unless they happen to be children, then do what you want to do." We must treat children with the same respect and dignity that we want for ourselves. And no one wants to be humiliated.
• Nurture Independence and Imagination with Kid-Proof Environment
  Whether a parent knows their child will be into everything or feels confident that their child won't be, child-proofing a home is the answer to constant vigilance and ineffective punishment.
• Kid Space
  A good environment for children will never make the cover of House Beautiful. Your home should safely offer the children in it a chance for independence and responsibility. A careful selection of physical surroundings can actually eliminate behavior problems.
• Over-committed Kids?
  Six year olds can suffer from stress and "burn-out". Unstructured play is one of the most important parts of a child's development. Before signing children up for enrichment activities every afternoon of the week, consider these questions.
• The Importance of Making Their Own Decisions
  Children have a need to make decisions for themselves. When parents don't allow a child to make decisions, power struggles follow on every front. Children must learn to submit to parental authority, but that is a much easier, happier task when they can make some of their own decisions.
• Clothing Allowance
  If kids are given a clothing allowance for the year and allowed to make their own decisions, they will learn from their own mistakes and become very good at managing money and selecting clothing for value. Excellent training in real-life skills.