How Parents Can Help Their ADHD Child

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Excellent insights into parenting a child with ADHD. Here's how to help your ADHD child and reduce your stress.

Children with ADHD have a hard time paying attention. They act without thinking first. They also tend to be more active than children without ADHD. Children with ADHD often don't finish things, don't seem to listen to adults, and don't follow rules very well. They often seem very mad and sad. They wish people wouldn't be so mad at them. They wish people would know how they feel inside.

There are ways you as a parent can help. Picture a team. To win, everyone must work together. It is the same with helping a child with ADHD. You can be like a coach. And patient, caring, understanding coaches often get the best results. But the best coaches are also firm and fair, and they expect those they are helping to stick to the rules. When you can mix caring, concern, firmness, and fairness, ADHD children can learn to do better. And they feel better about themselves. This reduces the stress on you as a parent!

Focus on your child's experience

Children with ADHD just don't do things like other children. They seem to waste time, and may act younger than other children their age. You may think they should know better. It's easy to be angry and upset with them. When you start to feel angry, it helps to try to look at the world through the eyes of your child. It can be a tough world to live in!

Children with ADHD have a hard time paying attention, even when they try and try. They hate to fail but can't seem to help themselves. They are not causing problems on purpose. But they start to think that others expect them to fail. This makes them very sad and sometimes mad. But children with ADHD are often curious, creative and smart. They just don't know how to focus all that energy in a way that works and pleases others. Sometimes it helps for parents just to say, "I know it's very hard for you. But we will work on it together." Instead of feeling "bad," this lets the child feel like the parent will work with him or her to solve a problem

Get to know your child

Of course, you know your child. This section is about taking a second look, and looking for certain things.

All children with ADHD have things they do well. And they have areas that are special problems. Many parents have found that paying close attention to both "strong" and "weak" areas is very helpful. Knowing what things your child does well will help you build on those skills. And praise for doing well in those areas of strength can build up the child's sense of being "good."

Successful parenting of children with ADHD requires a close bond, patience, and an ability to laugh with your child. We suggest you try to look for good things that your child does, not just the problems. You will find many positive things about your child-those things that interest, excite, and keep their attention. Talking about these things with your child will make him or her very happy.

At the same time, knowing your child's problem spots will let you watch for them. When you see a problem spot, you can pay special attention and help them learn other ways to act. You can focus your "coaching" efforts in the areas in which your child needs the most help. You will also begin tonotice how they react to failure and how hard they are trying. Once you see how hard it is for them and how hard they are trying, it may be easier for you to work together.

If you and your child work together and share common interests, then you are working as a team. This will help your child accept learning to pay attention to the rules and chores you have for him or her. Having fun with your child, by sharing activities that are of interest to both of you, will give you strength and patience as you tackle difficult learning tasks together.

Communicate with your child

Let your child know that you are there to help him or her through the problems that he or she may have. Let them know that you love them and like who they are. Let them know that you understand how hard it is for them to pay attention or to be still. Letting your child know that he or she is loved and that you like to spend time with him or her will make the tasks you solve together feel more like helping. Remember that it is easy for children to think you want them to change because you don't like them. They don't know that it is how they act that needs work. They start thinking it is who they are that is a problem.

Talking to a child with ADHD can take much patience. Often they don't seem to listen. But they do listen and they do want to please you. It's just so hard for them! It takes much time and loving patience. You play a key role in explaining things to your child. Sometimes it helps to put rules or reasons in their own words. And it's important to get right down "on their level." Many parents find that it is very helpful to make eye contact when explaining things. This helps make sure that the child hears and understands what he or she is told.