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A Brief Life Story

This "Other"

Berdache Jordan, Intersexual

A Thumbnail History of Myself

Brief History of a Hermaphrodite

(A Freak Of Nature, Born At A Time Prior To DNA Testing)

The only term that was known, as far as I was ever told, was that I was an Open Birth, meaning I had ambiguous genitalia, that I could not be identified by the people who examined me as either a male or a female. These people were a Catholic Sister and a Veterinarian, both in a small western town, dealing with a premature and abandoned miscarriage.

This was a condition ascribed to the youth and/or illness of my biological Mother at the time of my birth. In certain conversations discussing me, I had overheard this on various occasions. I recall that I was stripped naked many times and exhibited to other adults. As a small child, from age 2-4, I remember that I enjoyed being the center of attention and awe and speculation by adults.

The man I knew as Dad was, I believe, related to me. Whether he was, in fact, my biological parent is unknown. His sibling and a younger sister were suspected to be in an incestuous relationship. My genealogical research indicates that my genetic condition existed in the family. Two of three "brothers" immigrated from Germany and came to America. The youngest was listed as the "wife" of the older sibling on passports and ship manifests. German/Gypsy/Native American lineage, I have reason to believe, carried my rare DNA karyotype. Research is continuing at this time.

True Hermaphrodite

I am one of several types of true hermaphrodites. The XXXY (mosaic) karyotype is extremely rare. One theory of the cause of my own condition has a lot of support. It maintains that two ovum were produced simultaneously in my mother and the eggs fertilized independently as maternal twins. During gestation the eggs merge into a single fetus, one ova was destined as male the other as female.

My understanding is that sometimes both ova might well have been male XY or female XX, in which case the child would have both distinctive DNA chromosome karyotypes, a XY/XY or a XX/XX (mosaic).

These people would appear perfectly male or female unless some medical situation required a chromosome karyotyping. That is an unusual procedure. How many are like this is unknown, as few are tested. They, like me, would have two separate chromosome karyotypes, similar to Siamese Twins sharing one body to varying extents. It is also my understanding that present fertility drugs today may make this condition much more common. In my case, my karotype is XX/XY, hence I have characteristics of both male and female.

Confusion and Abuse

I was given a boy's name and a separate girl's name by my "Father" and his wife, my "Mother," with two birth certificates. Neither was recorded at the time, but awaited a future decision. Eventually, I was "recorded" later as a male, but called by an ambiguous nickname of a comic strip character, a child that no one knew what sex the child was, which was fitting (from Barney Google).

I was left "as is" awaiting further physical development. From the age of four to sixteen years old, I was sexually, physically and mentally abused by several members of my own family. Then I was able to stop the most invasive abuse by choosing to be a male, at age fifteen, accomplished by taking massive doses of testosterone to effect secondary male sexual characteristics. ( Deeper voice, body and facial hair, that allowed me to pass as a male.)

If you refer to the sexual abuse links, you may get some idea of the traumas caused by this abuse. The intersexual condition caused me to be abused by both "normal" sexes. Something seemed to drive others to experience their sexual fantasies, with me as the unwelcome recipient. Personally, all I derived was pain, frustration, and fear of failing to please those I was dependent on as a child. I suffered extreme feelings of guilt when I learned what these acts were.