Getting Through a Meal With Strength and Serenity

Written by by Joanna Poppink, M.F.T.

Getting through the days, the nights, the meals, the snack times without overeating or starving is a challenge for people with eating disorders.

Often people write or call me to say, "Yes, I keep my journal. I see my therapist. I go to 12 step meetings. I'm learning to be kind and compassionate with myself. But what can I do about the food? Please help me."

What people specifically mean by this plea varies with each individual. But they clearly express their bewilderment and anguish as they attempt to find and develop new attitudes and behaviors toward daily eating.

A long time ago the Buddhists developed a contemplative practice for eating which may be just what these callers are looking for.

Here is my edited version of the five contemplations for eating. I suggest that people with and without eating disorders print them out and read them before eating anything at any time.

Being fully present for ourselves, being fully aware of what we consume and being fully aware of our intention in the moment can help us develop the attitudes and behaviors we need for our well being.

These ancient contemplations may be very helpful in eating disorder recovery. What's more, they may open our awareness to other aspects of our lives that also need healing.

These contemplations were originally written for all of us.

Five Contemplations When Taking A Meal

1. I consider the work required in producing this food. I am grateful for its source.
2. I evaluate my virtues and examine any spiritual defects. The ratio between my virtues and defects determine how much I shall deserve this offering.
3. I guard my heart cautiously from faults, particularly greed.
4. To strengthen and cure my weakening body, I consume this food as medicine.
5. As I continue on the spiritual path I accept this offering with appreciation and gratitude.

Note: Periodically I receive questions about contemplation two and less often about contemplation three. As always, questions and comments inspire me to think, research and write more. Here is my latest thinking on the contemplations. Please feel free to write me with your perspective.

I found these contemplations written on the dining room wall in a Chinese Buddhist temple, Hsi Lai , in Hacienda Heights, California. So some of the phrasing and word choices may relate to translation from Chinese to English challenges and different meanings given to words based on cultural values.

However, here is a way of thinking that may help you understand what the contemplations are getting at.

First, they are contemplations, not rules. They are not meant to be followed like laws. They are meant to be contemplated, at best over a lifetime and at least, over the course of a meal. Different levels of meaning will occur to us over time if we continue to contemplate the words and what thoughts and feelings come up within us over time.

Second, evaluating one's one virtues and spiritual defects is a mighty challenge. When 12-steppers get to the stage of writing their personal inventory they understand how challenging this is. Often when we begin the process of exploring our own defects we can't think of a single one! And just as often, when we try to look deeply into the truth of who we are, we can't think of a single virtue either!

But at least we are looking. We are beginning to examine ourselves.

Later, perhaps in a week or year or more, when we inventory ourselves again, we discover defects and virtues that were invisible to us before.

In this way we become open to the possibility of learning something about ourselves. That openness is what allows us to see what we couldn't see, understand what we couldn't understand, forgive what we didn't know, care about who we are and appreciate the consequences of our actions and attitudes over a lifetime. This contemplation process allows us to open our hearts and minds to the people around us and who were around us in the past and who will come into our lives in the future. We have an opportunity to become free as imperfect beings in an imperfect world where we are surrounded by imperfect others and nonetheless can recognize, give and receive love and respect.

If we think about this deeply, isn't the act of eating a behavior that embodies the giving and receiving of love and respect from one life form to another in order to maintain life force on this planet? This question, if contemplated, may lead us to issues of deep spirituality about which we have been oblivious and yet which concern us every moment of our lives.

So how do we begin to look at our defects and virtues if we don't know how and probably wouldn't recognize them if we did see them?

Because I was a visiting professional guest at the Sierra Tucson Treatment Center in Arizona, I started receiving their Alumni Newsletter, "Afterwords." In their 2002-2003 Reunion issue I came across an article by David Anderson, Ph.D. In his article, "The Eight Deadly Defects of Character," Dr. Anderson addresses the issues you and I are exploring together in this article.