Men With Depression - Asking If Someone Is Feeling Suicidal

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Asking if someone is feeling suicidal will not put the idea into his head or make it more likely that he will kill himself. So, although some men may not be very good at talking about how they are feeling, it is important to ask if you have any suspicion - and to take such ideas seriously. For a man who feels suicidal, there is nothing more demoralizing than to feel that others do not take him seriously. He will often have taken some time to pluck up the courage to tell anybody about it. If you do find yourself feeling so bad that you have thought about suicide, it can be a great relief to tell someone.

Violence

Some studies have shown that men who commit violent crimes are more likely to get depressed than men who don't. However, we don't know if the depression makes their violence more likely, or if it's just the way they lead their lives.

Helping Men

Many men find it difficult to ask for help when they are depressed - it can feel unmanly and weak. It may be easier for men to ask for help if those who give that help take into account men's special needs.

Men who are depressed are more likely to talk about the physical symptoms of their depression rather than the emotional and psychological ones. This may be one reason why doctors sometimes don't diagnose it. If you are feeling wretched, don't hold back - tell your doctor.

It can help to be reminded that depression is a result of chemical changes in the brain. It is nothing to do with being weak or unmanly, and it can easily be helped. Antidepressant tablets are often an important part of getting better - and it's important to remember that this sort of medication is not addictive.

If a depressed man is married, or in a steady relationship, his partner should be involved so that she can understand what is happening. This will make it less likely for the depression to cause permanent problems in their relationship.

Some men don't feel comfortable talking about themselves and so may be reluctant to consider psychotherapy. However, it is a very powerful way of relieving depression and works well for many men.

Helping Yourself

Don't bottle things up - If you've had a major upset in your life, try to tell someone how you feel about it.

Keep Active - Get out of doors and get some exercise, even if it's only a walk. This will help to keep you physically fit and you will sleep better. It can also help you not to dwell unhelpfully on painful thoughts and feelings.

Eat properly - you may not feel very hungry, but you should eat a balanced diet, with lots of fruit and vegetables. It's easy to lose weight and run low on vitamins when you are depressed.

Avoid alcohol and drugs - Alcohol may make you feel better for a couple of hours, but it will make you more depressed in the long run. The same goes for street drugs, particularly amphetamines and ecstasy.

Don't get upset if you can't sleep - Do something restful that you enjoy, like listening to the radio or watching television.

Use relaxation techniques - If you feel tense all the time there are many ways of helping yourself to relax. These include exercises, audio-tapes, yoga, massage, aromatherapy etc.

Do something you enjoy - Set some time aside regularly each week to do something you really enjoy - exercise, reading, a hobby.

Check out your lifestyle - A lot of people who have depression are perfectionists and tend to drive themselves too hard. You may need to set yourself more realistic targets and reduce your workload.

Take a break - This may be easier said than done, but it can be really helpful to get away and out of your normal routine for a few days. Even a few hours can be helpful.

Read about depression - There are now many books about depression. They can help you to cope, but can also help friends and relatives to understand what you are going through.

Remember, in the long run, this might be helpful - It's unpleasant to have it, but depression can be a useful experience, and some people emerge stronger and coping better than before. You may see situations and relationships more clearly and may now have the strength and wisdom to make important decisions and changes that you were avoiding before.

Getting More Help

The best place to start is your general practitioner / family doctor. He or she will be able to assess you and to discuss the options for treatment with you. It is true that many men are concerned that the information held by their family doctors may need to be given in medical reports, and so may damage their chances in work. In spite of this, your family doctor is the best person to approach. Depression may be due to physical illness, so it is important that you have a proper physical check-up. If you are already receiving treatment for some physical disorder, your doctor will need to know because of the possible interactions between drugs. Any worries about confidentiality should be discussed with your doctor.

If you really feel that you can't talk about it with anyone you know, look in the phone book for a 24 hour telephone service (crisis line) which can give you the opportunity to discuss things anonymously.

Depression can be as much of an illness as pneumonia or breaking your leg. We really shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. The most important thing to remember is to ask for the help you need, when you need it. If you need more information, or to talk to somebody confidentially, the following lists of publications and other organizations may be helpful.

Remember - depression is easily treatable and you are entitled to the help you need.

next: Treatments For Men With Depression
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