Grief Recovery, Grief Work, Unresolved Grief

Apocalypse Suicide Page
Good Mood
Living with Depression
Mental Health Recovery
NIMH
SHOCKED! ECT

HealthyPlace.com Radio
Depression Support Groups

Books on Depression
Conference Transcripts
Depression Videos
Diaries - Journals
Disorders Definitions
Mental Health News
Online Depression Tests
Psychiatric Medications
Resources
Site Map

Email
ICQ
Instant Messenger

Visit and Post

Abuse
ADD/ADHD
Addictions
Anxiety-Panic
Bipolar
Eating Disorders
Personality Disorders
Self-Injury

send this page to a friend

Grief Recovery

Does time really heal all wounds?

It is important for a person to grieve and complete their relationship to the pain and unfinished business caused by a death, divorce or any other significant emotional loss.

When is it time to do my "grief work?"

This is the most difficult question facing grievers. Part of the problem stems from the biggest single inaccurate idea that we were all socialized to believe: that "time heals all wounds." Time does not heal. Actions can help discover and complete unfinished emotional business.

When can I begin to discover and complete all of the things that I wish had ended "different, better or more," and all of the broken "hopes, dreams, and expectations" about the future? The answer is immediately, according to John W. James, author of The Grief Recovery Handbook. "Waiting to do grief work is potentially dangerous," he says.

Most likely you’ve heard that grievers tend to create larger than life memory pictures in which they either "enshrine or bedevil" the person who died. According to James, this phenomenon increases with time, making it more difficult to discover the "truth" within the relationship.

What are some tipoffs that unresolved grief is the cause of my discomfort?

advertisement

Unresolved grief tends to take people "out of the moment," that is to cause you to be off in conversations with people who are no longer physically there with you. [This is not limited to death. You are equally likely to be lost in a conversation with a former spouse, still living, who is not physically present]. Assuming that your physical health is okay, unresolved grief tends to drain you of energy. Unresolved grief tends to close our hearts down. Since we’re incomplete with a prior loss, we almost automatically "protect" ourselves by not loving again. More accurately, we limit our loving exposure and thereby doom the new relationship to fail.

Commonly, grievers will hide their true feelings for fear of being judged. Where isolation is the problem, participation is a major component of the solution. Support groups, counseling, and workshops are all aimed at discovering and completing the unfinished emotional business that fuels the isolation.

RELATED LINKS AND INFO

What Is Grief?
Coping With Loss - Bereavement and Grief
Coping with Loss
Helping Yourself and Others Deal With Death
Nine Common Myths and Realities About Grief
When a Parent Loses a Child
Adult Orphans: Coping With the Loss of a Parent
Helping Your Child Through A Death in the Family
Anticipatory Grief: Preparing for the Death of a Loved One

Other Issues Related to Depression

top ~ next ~ send page to a friend

HealthyPlace.com Depression Center Links
home ~ site map ~ causes ~ types ~ people ~ living with
treatments ~ self-help ~ support ~ suicide ~ related issues

HealthyPlace.com Homepage
Chat ~ Forums ~ Communities
HealthyPlace.com Films ~ HealthyPlace.com Radio ~ News
Site Map ~ Web Tour ~ Advertise ~ Email Us
send this page to a friend

We subscribe to the HONcode principles of the Health On the Net Foundation.