Mental Health Blogs

How to Deal With and Overcome Low Self-Esteem

In trying to deal with low self-esteem, focus on the positive. When doing that, we feel more positive, happier and self-assured, right? Our self-esteem is heightened when we are in a positive state of mind.

Let’s consider why it’s been difficult to overcome low self-esteem. The likelihood is that past events or a current trigger has left your self-esteem low, which contributes to your current state of mind, which for many of us can be negative.

The roots of your low self-esteem are not to be ignored, but for the purpose of moving into a happier mindset, let’s focus on the feelings you want to obtain today; happiness and higher self-esteem. By proactively shifting some of your negative behaviors and thoughts in the moment, you can increase your self-esteem tremendously and start to overcome low self-esteem.

Dealing with Low Self-Esteem

Don’t “Should” on Yourself

Powerful ways to deal with and overcome low self-esteem.The first step in dealing with low self-esteem is to recognize the negative statements you are telling yourself.

  • I should have…
  • If only I would have…

These “-ould statements” are unproductive. They build up and make it difficult to overcome your low self-esteem (we all tend to go to this place on occasion, myself included). My suggestion: don’t should on yourself! This is not the way to deal with low self-esteem. This gets you looped into the low self-esteem cycle of thinking. Instead, focus on what you can do and move forward into positive thoughts. When you catch yourself “shoulding,” rephrase it to:

  • “I am going to” or
  • “Next time I will.”

Give yourself a break and focus on what you can do next time, not what happened in the past.

Overcome Low Self-Esteem Using Self-Care

Put yourself first with self-care. It may not seem like it, but this is an important step in trying to overcome low self-esteem. Self-care is a gentle reminder that you deserve to feel good and produces positive feelings inward, which radiates outward. Going to the gym, eating a healthy meal, watching that show that makes you laugh are examples of self-care. For me, self-care is taking time away from technology, taking a bubble bat or watching “Modern Family” while enjoying some ice cream. These are ways I support my body and my mind in feeling my best and they allow me to shift my focus into a positive mindset.

Get Out of Your Head

I know this can be difficult, but often times you have to change your surroundings or your current situation to shift your negative self-talk into a more positive conversation. My suggestion: get out of your head. I often times have to leave my desk, go on a walk, listen to music, call a good friend, meditate, or read something, but I don’t let my mood take over, I distract with loving, proactive activities.

Find out what activities help to increase your self-esteem and share them in the comments below. By you sharing your tools for dealing with and overcoming low self-esteem, you are helping others to find new methods for increasing their self-esteem.

You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Google+ and Twitter

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7 Responses to How to Deal With and Overcome Low Self-Esteem

  1. Anonymous says:

    Playing instruments, whistling, bike riding, reading, walking, running, socializing with people that will make me feel positive and avoiding the people that are full of negativity. Listening to music, fixing things that do not need to be fixed(doing tedious tasks that require all my focus help clear my head and give me a sense of accomplishment afterward). Finishing any difficult task can feel rewarding. These are some of the things that help me feel better. It’s hard though, because these are all short time remedies. I feel in order to permanently raise my self esteem I need to have positive experiences to replace all the negative experiences I’ve had in life. No matter how hard you try convincing yourself to stay positive, if you have negative experiences, the memory of them always re-surfaces and come back to haunt you when you have your guard down.

  2. Great ideas! Thank you for sharing I appreciate your input! I think socializing with people who make you feel better is extremely important too- thanks for the reminder!

    Take Good Care,
    Emily

  3. Dr Musli Ferati says:

    It is absolutely necessary to install a positive and optimistic mindset, in order to improve personal inward and outward outlook. Yours suggestion in this direction are welcomed, as well as very useful contribution to achieve a satisfying impression on daily events and circumstances. It is very difficult to change the runs of thoughts, but it isn’t impossible to change psycho-social milieu, that instantly introduces to modification of general emotional state. Therefore, it is advisable to practice some effective mental exercise that suddenly delivered us from feeling of low self-esteem as the main cause of many mental disorders. Eventually, it ought to have proactive and more real attitude at life problems and challenges, that are often counteracting and fallacious as well. On contrary, we would be the victim of pessimistic views, that on the other hand damage and/or decrease our lever of self-esteem.

  4. fsl says:

    The importance of a positive attitude and your frame of mind affect you and everyone around you. Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude and your attitude can affect people around you.

    A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.
    If you see people shying away from you you had better have a look at yourself.

    You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. Start with a smile. Smiles spread.

    http://esteemgrowth.com/11_Powers_of%20_a%20_Positive%20_Attitude.htm

  5. Michelle Ogwu says:

    Put up a good attitude with others always and don’t look down on yourself

  6. Wolfgang says:

    Most people face difficulties in overcoming low self esteem. Though many desired to endure the process that would help them improve their sense of self worth, only few of them succeeded in doing so. This process works gradually and requires a lot of practice, patience and determination. And enduring this might be tricky and perplexing. Because the more you struggle to fight against low self-esteem, the arduous it will be for you to get rid of your old self-provoking thoughts.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Here are a few things that help me feel great.

    1) never complain about anything, always give gratitude for what you have.
    2) never complain about your job nor your coworkers, do the best you can and give some more. Don’t worry about the other guy…! I feel great when I complete a job without rushing.
    3) never complain about your spouse or loved ones, give them all the love and support.

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