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I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

I like my job. I get to write for a living which is something many writers don’t get to do. And moreover, I get to write about things that matter to me. Also a great luxury for many writers. These are pleasures as are the vast majority of people I get to meet.

I do have the great displeasure, though, of seeing vehement hatred for those with a mental illness. People who hate show up here, on my blog and elsewhere. People with a hatred for bipolar disorder seem to seek places to express their hatred.

But hatred of the mentally ill is simply another prejudice. Hatred of people with bipolar is the same as racism and just as unacceptable.

People with Bipolar Are Selfish, Whiny, Childish Monsters

No one in their right mind would say, “All [people of race] are selfish, whiny, childish monsters.”

They wouldn’t say that because it isn’t true and it’s outlandish to think, let alone say. People of any race are individuals and thus are all different. Enlightened people understand painting them all with any brush is inaccurate, insulting and quite frankly just plain wrong.

It’s exactly the same for those with a mental illness. Suggesting all people with bipolar are selfish, whiny, childish monsters (and I have heard much worse) is ridiculous. I am none of those things. I’m a grab-bag of traits, much like everyone else. Except I have an illness.

Some people have had bad experiences with the mentally ill. They use this as an excuse to hate everyone with bipolar disorder. This hatred is as bad as racism. Read more.Why do People Hate those with Bipolar?

There is generally one reason why people hate those with a mental illness: they have had bad experiences with them in the past. And for whatever cockamamie reason, they have generalized that experience onto everyone with bipolar disorder. And for some reason they don’t see the ludicrousness of that behavior.

My Ex was Bipolar; She was Evil

Lots of these people have bipolar ex-significant others. And some hate their ex-others. Perhaps for good reason; I couldn’t say. But here’s the thing:

  1. You fell in love with that person at some point and married/had kids with/lived with them, so there really is something good there somewhere.
  2. People hate their ex-others. It has nothing to do with bipolar and everything to do with being an ex.

People also think “men are bad,” because of a bad divorce, or “women are conniving,” or what have you. Not because of anything intrinsic to the gender but because divorces/breakups are nasty, ill-fated, legally acrimonious affairs.

Unfortunately, when one party has a mental illness the other party often feels perfectly justified in dumping the ills of the world at the feet of the illness. And then at the feet of everyone else with the illness.

Your Bipolar Ex Might Have Been Evil

I have no idea who you were married to, and they may have been the worst person on the planet. In fact, their illness may have made their life and yours a living hell. That person may have needed help and refused it. That person may have done horrible things and blamed it on their disease. That person may have hurt those and those you love. Quite possible.

But that’s not about being bipolar, that’s about the individual.

I will accept this illness makes people unpredictable and challenging, like many illnesses. I will accept the fact being with a person with an illness (any illness) is hard. I will accept that we hurt people, and sometimes that hurt has to do with bipolar disorder.

I will not, however, accept any insult you want to throw at me simply because I have the same diagnosis as a person you know. I will not allow you to tell me how I am or who I am. I will not accept your prejudice and I will not accept your hatred.

Enjoy Your Hate

You can hate whomever you like. It’s a free country. But do it in front of me at your own risk. I do not buy your nonsense and to me, you are no better than a racist. Go find another place to play. Because I won’t let you unabashedly hurt others just because you have been hurt.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

Author: Natasha Tracy

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108 thoughts on “I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil”

  1. Most of the mentally ill people i know are trying hard to manage their illness. Too bad the haters aren’t trying as hard to manage their stupidity.

  2. I understand those who hate- sometimes I hate myself too, sometimes I hate everyone, literally everyone and wish we humans become extinct so that all the other species we harm live happily ever after…

    I have come to believe that everything we think or feel is the aftermath of what happens in our brain, we can’t control it, so we’re not responsible- it’s something like an instinct.

    Of course, we ARE responsible for our actions and reactions to these thoughts and feelings, but not for the process of feeling like that- it is one thing for me to say I wish we all become extinct and it is another thing to try to construct an atom bomb so I can make it happen.

    Maybe people who hate bipolars as a result of personal experience are sufferers themselves- PTSD is an option for everyone, especially after a broken abusive relationship, maybe what they need is therapy and comfort and some antidepressants and a little bit of oxytocin iv, or maybe there was something wrong with them in the first place, and that is why they chose to stay in such a horrible relationship, that left them with so many scars…

    Maybe I am a little sarcastic, but I mean every word I say-or write.

  3. People fear – and hate – what they do not understand – and nothing is quite so terrifying as insanity – crazy even trumps death. At the height of a manic episode I got into it with two very large, strong cops – it took a lot of unhappiness for all of us before they finally subdued me. Even in my deranged state I saw the fear in their eyes. – Prejudice is always ugly, but prejudice against the mentally ill is not hard to understand. – We can’t wait for the square shooters to wise up – it is up to US to eliminate prejudice by modeling healthy behavior and painting a complete portrait of mental illness.

  4. Good article. It actually made me think about how I keep certain personality types at an arms length due to being burned. Looks like I need to change my paradigm. Thank you!

  5. One of the best antistigma posts I’ve ever read, and I’ve followed a *lot* of stigma campaigns. Once again, I’m grateful you exist, and write so well. Thank you!

  6. I think health professionals should take responsibility here, at least concerning some of the psychiatric labels. Take for example psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen. He says people who have received a borderline diagnosis are evil.

  7. That’s an honest response. I have an exspouse that was initially diagnosed as
    bipolar. After years of cycling he was no longer the person I married and I divorced him for the safety of myself and children at the time. He needed the space to take care of his illness and we needed to go on with our lives. All of us are happier and have managed to stay on caring terms. Go on with your life, heal your heart and be blessed.

  8. Hi Loreen,

    “That’s an honest response. I have an exspouse that was initially diagnosed as bipolar. After years of cycling he was no longer the person I married and I divorced him for the safety of myself and children at the time. ”

    You’re right, it is completely honest. The part that I have an issue with is generalizing it to an entire population. Any of use can have all manner of feelings towards another _individual_ and yes, _their_ bipolar might have done awful things, but I’m not them.

    It’s good that after the breakup you have remained on good terms. That would be a nice gift for everyone.

    – Natasha

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