I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

I like my job. I get to write for a living which is something many writers don’t get to do. And moreover, I get to write about things that matter to me. Also a great luxury for many writers. These are pleasures as are the vast majority of people I get to meet.

I do have the great displeasure, though, of seeing vehement hatred for those with a mental illness. People who hate show up here, on my blog and elsewhere. People with a hatred for bipolar disorder seem to seek places to express their hatred.

But hatred of the mentally ill is simply another prejudice. Hatred of people with bipolar is the same as racism and just as unacceptable.

People with Bipolar Are Selfish, Whiny, Childish Monsters

No one in their right mind would say, “All [people of race] are selfish, whiny, childish monsters.”

They wouldn’t say that because it isn’t true and it’s outlandish to think, let alone say. People of any race are individuals and thus are all different. Enlightened people understand painting them all with any brush is inaccurate, insulting and quite frankly just plain wrong.

It’s exactly the same for those with a mental illness. Suggesting all people with bipolar are selfish, whiny, childish monsters (and I have heard much worse) is ridiculous. I am none of those things. I’m a grab-bag of traits, much like everyone else. Except I have an illness.

Some people have had bad experiences with the mentally ill. They use this as an excuse to hate everyone with bipolar disorder. This hatred is as bad as racism. Read more.Why do People Hate those with Bipolar?

There is generally one reason why people hate those with a mental illness: they have had bad experiences with them in the past. And for whatever cockamamie reason, they have generalized that experience onto everyone with bipolar disorder. And for some reason they don’t see the ludicrousness of that behavior.

My Ex was Bipolar; She was Evil

Lots of these people have bipolar ex-significant others. And some hate their ex-others. Perhaps for good reason; I couldn’t say. But here’s the thing:

  1. You fell in love with that person at some point and married/had kids with/lived with them, so there really is something good there somewhere.
  2. People hate their ex-others. It has nothing to do with bipolar and everything to do with being an ex.

People also think “men are bad,” because of a bad divorce, or “women are conniving,” or what have you. Not because of anything intrinsic to the gender but because divorces/breakups are nasty, ill-fated, legally acrimonious affairs.

Unfortunately, when one party has a mental illness the other party often feels perfectly justified in dumping the ills of the world at the feet of the illness. And then at the feet of everyone else with the illness.

Your Bipolar Ex Might Have Been Evil

I have no idea who you were married to, and they may have been the worst person on the planet. In fact, their illness may have made their life and yours a living hell. That person may have needed help and refused it. That person may have done horrible things and blamed it on their disease. That person may have hurt those and those you love. Quite possible.

But that’s not about being bipolar, that’s about the individual.

I will accept this illness makes people unpredictable and challenging, like many illnesses. I will accept the fact being with a person with an illness (any illness) is hard. I will accept that we hurt people, and sometimes that hurt has to do with bipolar disorder.

I will not, however, accept any insult you want to throw at me simply because I have the same diagnosis as a person you know. I will not allow you to tell me how I am or who I am. I will not accept your prejudice and I will not accept your hatred.

Enjoy Your Hate

You can hate whomever you like. It’s a free country. But do it in front of me at your own risk. I do not buy your nonsense and to me, you are no better than a racist. Go find another place to play. Because I won’t let you unabashedly hurt others just because you have been hurt.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

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101 Responses to I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

  1. davelister says:

    I met the woman of my dreams 3 years ago – seriously intelligent, funny, attractive, and quirky. On the first night we met, there were serious alarm bells ringing (she got very angry I would not sleep with her) but love goggles…. She was beautiful to me, I tried to ignore that.

    3 years on, I’m still with her, and she’s cycling into another angry / depressive / demanding / lazy state, which happens yearly. It will probably last a minimum of 3 months, and at the end of it, although she will be happier again, there will be no apologies or cares at all regarding how bad she has made me feel and how much I have literally done just to keep us both fed, in a flat that doesn’t resemble a bomb site. She will do nothing to help during this time.

    As much as I love her, I find it very, very hard to deal with the continuous drama bombs and stress that is no doubt going to happen, as they always have, for the next 1/3 of a year. It’s a scary thought.

    The reason I stay is she is not /always bad/, and I try to keep in mind that she’s ill.

    It’s the total lack of guilt , that’s what I’m not sure I can cope with again. When she is ill, visibly, I can deal with that. When she is feeling better, it is as if she thinks the slate is totally wiped clean and there is no damage to me. Not true. This is the last cycle I am going to put up with, and I’m hoping she is bad enough to me that there is nothing to do but leave.

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