I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

I like my job. I get to write for a living which is something many writers don’t get to do. And moreover, I get to write about things that matter to me. Also a great luxury for many writers. These are pleasures as are the vast majority of people I get to meet.

I do have the great displeasure, though, of seeing vehement hatred for those with a mental illness. People who hate show up here, on my blog and elsewhere. People with a hatred for bipolar disorder seem to seek places to express their hatred.

But hatred of the mentally ill is simply another prejudice. Hatred of people with bipolar is the same as racism and just as unacceptable.

People with Bipolar Are Selfish, Whiny, Childish Monsters

No one in their right mind would say, “All [people of race] are selfish, whiny, childish monsters.”

They wouldn’t say that because it isn’t true and it’s outlandish to think, let alone say. People of any race are individuals and thus are all different. Enlightened people understand painting them all with any brush is inaccurate, insulting and quite frankly just plain wrong.

It’s exactly the same for those with a mental illness. Suggesting all people with bipolar are selfish, whiny, childish monsters (and I have heard much worse) is ridiculous. I am none of those things. I’m a grab-bag of traits, much like everyone else. Except I have an illness.

Some people have had bad experiences with the mentally ill. They use this as an excuse to hate everyone with bipolar disorder. This hatred is as bad as racism. Read more.Why do People Hate those with Bipolar?

There is generally one reason why people hate those with a mental illness: they have had bad experiences with them in the past. And for whatever cockamamie reason, they have generalized that experience onto everyone with bipolar disorder. And for some reason they don’t see the ludicrousness of that behavior.

My Ex was Bipolar; She was Evil

Lots of these people have bipolar ex-significant others. And some hate their ex-others. Perhaps for good reason; I couldn’t say. But here’s the thing:

  1. You fell in love with that person at some point and married/had kids with/lived with them, so there really is something good there somewhere.
  2. People hate their ex-others. It has nothing to do with bipolar and everything to do with being an ex.

People also think “men are bad,” because of a bad divorce, or “women are conniving,” or what have you. Not because of anything intrinsic to the gender but because divorces/breakups are nasty, ill-fated, legally acrimonious affairs.

Unfortunately, when one party has a mental illness the other party often feels perfectly justified in dumping the ills of the world at the feet of the illness. And then at the feet of everyone else with the illness.

Your Bipolar Ex Might Have Been Evil

I have no idea who you were married to, and they may have been the worst person on the planet. In fact, their illness may have made their life and yours a living hell. That person may have needed help and refused it. That person may have done horrible things and blamed it on their disease. That person may have hurt those and those you love. Quite possible.

But that’s not about being bipolar, that’s about the individual.

I will accept this illness makes people unpredictable and challenging, like many illnesses. I will accept the fact being with a person with an illness (any illness) is hard. I will accept that we hurt people, and sometimes that hurt has to do with bipolar disorder.

I will not, however, accept any insult you want to throw at me simply because I have the same diagnosis as a person you know. I will not allow you to tell me how I am or who I am. I will not accept your prejudice and I will not accept your hatred.

Enjoy Your Hate

You can hate whomever you like. It’s a free country. But do it in front of me at your own risk. I do not buy your nonsense and to me, you are no better than a racist. Go find another place to play. Because I won’t let you unabashedly hurt others just because you have been hurt.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

This entry was posted in How Others See Bipolar, Losing Friends, Talking About Bipolar and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

63 Responses to I Hate the Mentally Ill – My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

  1. MR.Satan says:

    ok fair enough but, i was not diagnosed with bipolar but with autism and i meet half way with people, and i will say that we have to be fair to the neutrotypicals and meet half way i know many people with bipolar and when they feel wronged they want revenge so will the neurotypicals you dont get to be put on a throne because your bipolar and also a symptom of the bipolar is to blame others and not take responsibility, although just wait for the new theory it is rouge right now but when it goes mainstream……..bipolar now will be psychopaths later, more and more researchers are finding a link between bipolar and psychopathy, and they have very very similar symptoms another connection most psychopaths are abused as kids 90% of people with bipolar have been abused (mental and or physical as kids). alot of post ive seen on here also support this claim or if it matter from personal exp every bipolar person i know was abused as a kid and now they are manipulative, impulsive, violent psychos and one of them tried to kill someones kid because they were too loud……………

  2. Starlete says:

    My cousin is bipolar 2 but isn’t as bad as the ones i live with. One roommate also a 2 and she’s nasty. Nice to your face then will do everything to destroy your image and control you. The other one is manic depressive. After living with her I will say i’m never going to be near a bipolar who isn’t family ever again. She’s told my friends nasty things about me and no they refuse to come over cause they don’t want to be around her. I haven’t said much cause i just blow it over as her condition and try to be understanding. I worked with her and she tried to get everyone in trouble or fired. She’s done so many nasty things and said horrible things about me to other people when i’m trying to sleep. It may sound awful but like another guy who worked with her said. She’s a nasty two timing, backstabbing person and its best to turn and run. IN my opinion she uses her bipolar as an excuse. I’m quite sure that she is worse or has more than just bipolar. she takes to much pleasure in hurting people and wont feel sorry till they’ve let her have it.

  3. Wil says:

    Ms. Tracy,

    Thank you.

  4. Moon says:

    Hi, evil is a strong word & should not be used lightly. However, I had a bipolar fiance who in the 5 year of our relationship, kept getting more & more unreliable, unpredictable, and very immature. Couldn’t keep any simple promises. Often lied, very manipulative, will go out of his way to manipulate others, in overall he was a very selfish man.

    One day he non-stop said the most cruelest things to me which made me cry out in pain for over an hour or two but the more I cried, the more vicious he became. I couldn’t make any sense of this behavior at all. He later on explained that his grand mother was bipoar & that he may be too & that may be the reason for his unexplained, confusing, & strange behavior. After that I started researching the illness & read a few books. He had all the symptoms. When I told him that I read about the illness & that I think he really is bipolar & that he should speak to his psychiatrist about it (i said this very gently), he flipped out & said that he’s not crazy & that I am the one who is crazy! Keep in mind that he was already seeing a psychiatrist for depression. A few years ago he saw a psychiatrist for OCD. He also has anxiety & is extremely paranoid about certain things. After this incident, he broke up with me lol (he probably did me a favor). I haven’t tried to contact him ever since that day. I blocked him on FB & linkedin. I feel sorry for him though. He had it all & by that I don’t mean me. He did have me & I was very dedicated to him, he also has a good job, a rich family, no stress, no responsibility, yet he is the most negative, depressive person I know (he wasn’t like this the 1st year of our relationship. He is only 30 & he already lost a lot of hair & the remaining hair is turning grey. This is due to the anxiety & paranoia & lack of proper sleep. So yes, I feel sorry for him. Unless he gets help, he won’t change. Apparently it gets worse without treatment. I’m not gonna try to help him anymore cause I’ll lose my own sanity along the process. Thanks to God, I have many blessings in life I will appreciate those aspects & delete the past 5 years of my life. Dating someone normal is so much easier. It takes too much effort to deal with not all but certain bipolar individuals.

  5. Terrance says:

    I’m feeling everybody on this one. I have a godfather who has bi-polar and ever since I moved with him, things got worse and worse by the month. I’m not sure how I should start this with, but here it goes. I ain’t gonna outright say that he’s bad cause he did alot of good things, very important things for me in the past, but now…..I don’t know what to think of him. On one side, he’s nice, very concerned, supportive, and loveable….on the OTHER side, there’s only word that can summarize this part of him: EVIL. He don’t respect boundaries, he conplains all the time about the bills, he be rambling on about nonsense while I’m eating, on watching tv, demanding if I understand him or not and when I ask him “what are trying to get at?” he get all upset and such. He’s like this 42-year old bully, he say all sorts of bad things to me, changes the rules of the house, mimics things that I say, always thinks he’s right all the time, calls me by my middle name or some other name instead of my first name, he barges in my room, startling me just to see what I’m doing, after I do one chore, he stacks another one at the last minute, he has a problem taking me anywhere, always complain about gas. Always telling me to loose the attitude, not aware that he got one too!!! I don’t have one, whenever I tell him what he’s doing wrong, he’s always justifying everything he does!! And then he’s gonna talk about me! One night he comes in the living room and sits with me to watch TV. he keeps rambling on about non sense and copying some things hes hearing on the television and talking about what they’re saying while im trying to watch tv, demanding an answer from me. I ignore him. When it was clear that his message wasn’t getting through, he turns off the tv and tells me to go to bed (I’m 21) and like asking em ” why you did that!?” he like “cause you’re wasting electricity and it’s late” and I got on him BAD about it, demanding me to go upstairs I’m like “whats your problem!?” he refuse to tell me that’s when I lost it. I demanded to know. I followed him in his room and he turned his tv and tossed me the remote. Turns out he did all of that on purpose just to get some attention. So you know….every one is right on the mark when defining the term: evil. Don’t worry, I’m planing to get my own place soon so.. Are you wrong for the things that you say about these folks: absolutely not. The list can go on, but this just only a small piece of something I go through everyday while living with someone who has bi-polar, don’t you agree?

  6. Jay says:

    Live with a hateful bipolar person and you will see what it is like. They ruin the lives of everyone around them. Your best bet is to stay clear of them. What is sad is the number of people in prison because of mentally ill people making false statements and lying. People think mental illness is a joke and it is not. Your best bet is to stay clear of anyone who has a mental illness. The sad part is those who have mental illnesses rarely acknowledge the harm they have causes to others. It is always someone else’s fault or they use their illness as an excuse. Stay clear of bi-polar people and schizos. Your life will be much happier and safer.

  7. Jon Biert says:

    This is just another “cockamamie” ego-boosting scheme by a bipole to try and make neurotypicals feel bad, which in turn makes her twisted brain somehow feel better. If she was genuine, she would be apologetic for herself and all of her bipole people for the horrible things they have made normal people undergo. Let me define “normal” here: a person trying to just live their life without hurting others and without being hurt. A bipole, however, has the capacity to believe that they are a king, god, or just plain more elite than any one else, especially those immediately around them, and will often carry out actions hurtful under this delusion. I have known two particular bipoles quite well, and spent a total of about fifteen years closely with these monsters. Now I have no contact with either and am much happier and healthier for it. What was scariest to me was how similar the two of them were, they even had the same crazed and terrifying looks in their eyes when in manic mode, and they both performed very similar hurtful behaviors and backhanded speech. The author of this article warns neurotypicals not to generalize all bipoles into one category, similar to how bigots generalize different races. This made me laugh harder than any of the other manic nonsense the author wrote. You are diagnosed, correct? So you must have a certain number of traits to obtain this diagnosis, correct? And people diagnosed as bipoles must share some, if not many, of these traits? Well, it’s some if not many of these traits that are sickening and dangerous to neurotypicals, so don’t try and tell neurotypicals that we shouldn’t lump all of you bipoles into one sick and dangerous pile. Primarily, “unpredictability” is the most common shared trait amongst bipoles, and that’s the scariest one. Bipoles are angry and sad, and to combat this they will find a friendly and naive neurotypical to attempt to control and manipulate, in order to balance out their own empty ego; bipoles are so lost getting high off their own brain chemicals that when they catch glimpses of the bleakness of their reality they become angry, while still high, and at this point they turn to the nearest neurotypical with verbal daggers at the safest. I believe all bipoles should be heavily medicated, and if they refuse this (often because of elitism) they should be institutionalized, for their safety and ours, because remember everyone: all non-commerce/military violent acts come from sociopaths, pyschopaths, schizophrenics, and bipoles. With science we can end pain. To the author: a bipole believes they are elite and others deserve to grovel at their feet. To this I say, “I will not accept your prejudice and I will not accept your hatred.” Bipoles hurt themselves in their own minds, and want to take it out on others. Well, “Go find another place to play. Because I won’t let you unabashedly hurt others just because you have been hurt.” Bipoles WILL hurt you. The bipoles I have known could hide their perverse thoughts for years, but trust me, it comes out. And it hurts a lot.

  8. jon says:

    Having a child with a bipolar woman feels like a prison sentence. Knowing I have to deal with her for the rest of my life….

  9. karherine says:

    All of the characteristics that many have claimed are due to BiPolar, are just what many people are.
    Dont blame it on the illness, it is just the person, with or without Bi Polar.

  10. Christina says:

    I have bipolar II. It’s my diagnosis. It’s not who I am. The reason why I was diagnosed is because my moods would go from really happy to really depressed for no reason. I don’t take my moods and anger out on others because hurting anyone else appalls me. I stuff my emotions and hurt myself instead. That’s how I react to my mental illness. Other people with bipolar have the same highs and lows. It’s how they respond to these highs and lows that makes them mean and dangerous. I have known many people with no diagnosis of mental illness who are manipulative and elitist as well. These are things so-called “normal” people can be as well. People with a bipolar diagnosis sometimes have other mental illnesses along with the bipolar that effect their bipolar. Narcissism, Borderline personality disorder, psychopathology, cleptomanyism, schizo-effective disorder. These are just a few disorders that can be comorbid with bipolar. A lot of doctors, once a bipolar diagnosis is made will look no further and lump all these other disorders under the “bipolar umbrella.” That’s part of what contributes to the crazy,evil bipolar stereotype. Did it ever occur to anyone that these people are crazy and evil people who just happen to be bipolar? We all know Charles Manson is crazy and evil. Put a bipolar label on him and all of a sudden he is evil because he is bipolar? Bipolar is not what’s evil. It’s the person’s response to their bipolar symptoms that’s evil. This response often has to do with many other undiagnosed disorders this person has along with their bipolar disorder. Don’t sentence tthe rest of us with bipolar to the same crimes just because everyone you know with bipolar is a violent egotistical ass hole. There are enough of them out there without conjuring up more just because of the bipolar diagnosis. By the way, do you apologize to black people for all the atrocities commited towards them by white people simply because you also identify yourself as white? For the same reason that you are not responsible for centuries of slavery, prejudice and violence committed by whites toward blacks, I take no responsibility for the actions of those cruel, conniving violent people who identify themselves as bipolar and who use that diagnosis as a blanket excuse to treat other people as horribly as they want to. No white person who beats a black person gets away with saying “I can’t help it, I’m white.” Neither should a bipolar’s detestible actions be excused because of their diagnosis.

  11. Jim says:

    jon, sounds to me like you’ve got bigger issues than dealing with your wife for the rest of your life, one of them being your ignorance. You think it’s hard to live with someone who has bipolar disorder? Try being bipolar and living with someone like you. It’s jackasses like you that make us “crazy”

  12. Jennifer Roberts says:

    There are good normal people and there are bad normal people. Like there are good normal insane people and bad insane people. Only a stupid person or an evil malignant narcissist or sociopath would have the gumption to blame the mentally ill for all the problems of the world. Florence Nightingale was bipolar by the way. If you have problems with the mentally ill. You should look at how crap your mental health system is compared to the Netherlands.

    The government in the Netherlands doesn’t put homeless people in jail either. America is not as good as before.

  13. Sally Walters says:

    Dear Zoe Merchant i feel sorry for you having to parent someone’s child and think are trying to be a good person but no one can be perfect. But there are good normal people and bad normal people just as much as there are good insane people and bad insane people. It’s a pity you said you studied psychology and workedin mental health becauise now it makes me glad that some psychology graduates are not getting jobs in mental health and are still looking for work in more appropiate areas even if they trained work in that area. It’s just studying it doesn’t mean they are equipped to work in the field in the short term or the long term, but dealing with a mentally ill relative is probably enough. People who manipulate and are jealous and shifty are not necessarily bipolar. They could be sociopaths or malignant narcisssists. It’s a pity that because of your bad experience that you have to contaminate the lives of people with mental illnesses who are coping better and families that get along better with their mentally ill relatives so that other people start giving them a hard time and mistreating them. I hope you recover and you realise that your daughters’s problem is not everyone’s problem, and that your mental system is severely lacking of compared the one in the Netherlands. I know someone is censoring this because they prefer to censor some true statements they don’t want to hear. Florence Nightingale was bipolar by the way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>