Ah myths, we love them, don’t we? Friday the 13th is unlucky, Canadians live in igloos and drinking Coke and eating Pop Rocks will make your stomach explode. (Your stomach might not, but your pancreas is another matter.) People buy into myths all the time. When enough people say them, especially if the people are holding microphones or best-selling books, people assume they must be true.
But as a good friend of mine always says, trust, but verify.
Myths About People with Bipolar Disorder
These myths are brought to you by the commenters, here, at HealthyPlace.
- Bipolars are liars
- Bipolars cheat on their partners
- Bipolars are manipulative
- Bipolars are “spoiled teenagers”
- Bipolars feel it’s “all about them”
- Bipolars are angry and violent
- Bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder are almost the same thing
Well now, that’s quite a list. It’s amazing I’m allowed to live outside with all the “sane” people.
For my own part, I am nothing like those seven things. I have never known a bipolar that was those seven things. Nevertheless, let’s soldier on.
Lying is not remotely a symptom of bipolar disorder. It does tend to be found with some personality disorders, however. That being said, I will admit it’s almost impossible to be honest about how I feel with people as they don’t want to know about it. My obfuscation is to prevent the other person from knowing how horrible I feel. If you’d like to know about the blood-dripping suicidal ideation, I’ll tell you, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know.
Depending on the survey, between 30%-60% of married people cheat. These are just your average run-of-the-mill-survey-answering-folk. Perhaps even more surprisingly, 27% of people who reported being happy in their marriage have had an affair.
Statistically then, at a minimum, 30%-60% of people with bipolar disorder also cheat. As hypersexuality is a symptom of bipolar disorder, it reasonable to think that bipolar disorder would lead to higher numbers, probably both in the person with bipolar disorder and their spouse. (Sorry, I can’t find any specific, reliable data.) But with a number already higher than 50% in some cases, it’s unrealistic to blame cheating on bipolar disorder in general. Most of the time it’s just the people in the relationship.
Again, this is not remotely a symptom of bipolar disorder. Manipulation is often associated with personality disorders, but not bipolar disorder.
Bipolars Act Like Spoiled Teenagers
I’m not quite sure how to respond to this one. In fact, I’m not going to bother.
Bipolars Think It’s All About Them
Mania or hypomania does have a symptom of “inflated self-esteem or grandiosity”. Basically, thinking that we’re the bee’s knees. This is different from the selfish “it’s all about me” concept, however. Again, that is more typical of a personality disorder. (Not that inflated self-esteem is the best trait either, but most of the time we have pretty low self-esteem, so give us a bit of a break.)
Bipolars are Angry and Violent
There was a specific systematic review on this subject – I’ll shortcut it for you – bipolars are not more likely than the general population to commit violent crime (once alcohol use was taken into account). People with alcohol problems, bipolar or no, are a different matter.
Borderline is the Same as Bipolar
Borderline is a personality disorder, considered part of someone’s “core personality” whereas bipolar is not. Bipolars have a distinct symptom-free baseline when the person is feeling well. A borderline’s symptoms are their baseline. Bipolar disorder is not borderline personality disorder. Period. They’re not even in the same family. Some symptoms do cross-over, but that is common in medical diagnoses. (Please read Borderline Personality and Bipolar Disorder Differences, which does justice to this topic.)
Just Because I Do It Doesn’t Mean it’s a Symptom of Bipolar Disorder
In short, I’m sure there are bipolars who do lie, do cheat, do manipulate, are selfish and are violent. I have no doubt that they exist. But that’s not disorder-specific; that is part of who they are.
Just because a person with bipolar disorder does something, that doesn’t make it a symptom of bipolar disorder.
Personally, it scares me and I jump when someone knocks on my door, I despise opening mail and I loved jumping out of planes. That’s not bipolar disorder. That’s just me.
* Thanks to Mick McLean my favorite guy head-down, for the image.